


Questions & Devils

by NonReviewingReadersWillBeShot



Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: Angst, Depression, Explicit Language, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Lemon, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self-Hatred, Smut, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Yaoi, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-10
Updated: 2016-12-27
Packaged: 2018-05-19 11:36:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 8
Words: 46,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5965993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NonReviewingReadersWillBeShot/pseuds/NonReviewingReadersWillBeShot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Vegeta agrees to train with Goku in the Hyperbolic Time Chamber, but Vegeta's been acting strangely around him, jumpy even. Will he be able to overcome whatever is troubling him, or has Vegeta bitten off more than he can chew?</p><p>Timeline: Set during the 7 years after Cell's defeat, Goku being wished back to life instead of remaining in Other-world.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. So It Begins...

**Author's Note:**

>   
>  Also I think I should add that I don't own anything from Dragon Ball, I just like torturing the characters...heh heh...  
>   
> The reason I use both 'Kakarot' and 'Goku' in describing sentences is because when it's in Vegeta's perspective of things I use 'Kakarot' when it's in Goku's perspective I use 'Goku' so I hope that doesn't annoy too many of you guys...  
>   
> (Words in Italic are to specify someone's thoughts)  
>   
> The Main Pairing in this story will be Vegeta/Goku, as this is a Yaoi fanfic!
> 
> Also more info on the timeline for this story, I'm not sure how much of a spoiler it is but it is set after the defeat of Cell, and changing the events in the show Goku agreed to being wished back to life, so this is about 3-5 years after that, which should serve to explain why they are friends in my story's timeline. They essentially have the relationship that's seen in episode 291 of DBZ and then some. (Android 18 and Krillin are still a thing but her bomb was never removed...has no bearings on the story just thought I would mention that)
> 
> Enjoy!

  **~**

They walked.

They walked silently side by side as they made their way to the hyperbolic time chamber the air between them was far different than what it had been years earlier, what used to be a rivaling hate was now a friendly rivalry. Vegeta was lost in thought as he mindlessly followed Goku, he was so far lost in thought he wouldn’t have even noticed if the taller Saiyan had spoken to him, not that he cared anyway, even if they were friends now he didn’t really have much to say to him. How did that happen? When had he suddenly decided to stop hating the low-class to tolerate him in such a manner, that he would willingly choose to do anything with him? He marveled at himself, he had become so strange as of late, adapting too well to his new life on earth it would seem.

But there was something else…

He found himself ‘enjoying’ Kakarot’s company; it set him on edge, why was he enjoying his time with the man?

He never tried to lie to himself and convince himself of something that wasn’t true so he knew there was a lingering loathing sensation that would fester in him around Kakarot at the mere thought of knowing that the low-class was stronger, more powerful than he. He held onto power like it was his lifeblood as if without it he was nothing, the same could be said for his pride, he put such a large emphasis on it that it seemed he would simply cease to exist without the two. Fear and remembering hit him full force as he was reminded that these two things were all that kept him alive for so long, so many long years had these two things been what sustained him.

Even though they had been torn from him on multiple occasions that made him want to find a dark corner to curl up and die in.

_Frieza._

That was what bothered him about his new found friendship with Kakarot, every time he thought about him the fear he had reserved for Frieza crept into his mind and body like a thorny vine slowly choking the life out of vibrant rose. Why was that? Why did he enjoy yet fear the company of Kakarot? He had raked his brain so many times on the subject, Kakarot was a wild card, an unknown, even though his innocent and kind nature posed no visible threat to him and instead extended friendship; building apprehension would always show up to rain on his parade. He didn’t like the thought of anyone having the ability to control him; he wanted to be stronger than everyone so that way he would know he was safe. Granted if he had this power years ago he would have used it to rule the galaxy, but now times were different.

Full circle.

Power, and pride.

He needed both so that he would never be forced into submission again, he would finally be above everyone, free of the shackles that could be placed upon him from being weaker. His hands curled to form tight fists as he referred to himself as being ‘weak’. He let his hands unfold as he admitted that he was weak, weaker than Kakarot in every way. Would he ever surpass the man? But there it was again, fear, Frieza had once again wormed his way into Vegeta’s mind, his whole life had been ruled and directed as this bastard saw fit, molding him, shaping him into something he never wanted to be. And all because he was _weak_.

_“Stupid monkey it was always your destiny to lick the boots of your betters.”_

Frieza’s voice invaded his mind and mocked him; he heard the voice of Frieza and sensed his energy level as if he had been standing right behind him.

He walked directly into something immovable and was instantly broken from his thoughts, his eyes wide as a gasp of fear escaped his lips, and he then jumped back and assumed a fighting stance. Goku turned to look at Vegeta and was surprised to see him poised in such a way, the fact that Vegeta had walked into him added to his confusion, something had been off about him lately even if he couldn’t tell what it was. Vegeta let out a surprised huff of breath as he realized he had only walked into Goku’s shoulder and instantly dropped his stance and folded his arms across his chest with a dismissive grunt, turning his head to look out into the vast blue sky that was Kami’s lookout’s view.

 _“That felt too real…he’s dead, why did I feel as if I sensed him just then…damn you Frieza.”_ Vegeta tried to wipe the shame of his actions from his face before Goku could notice,

“Vegeta.” Goku began; here it comes, the idiots inane prodding,

“What Kakarot?” Vegeta asked, the hitch in his voice irritated him, as he turned back to look at the other Saiyan,

Goku studied his face with a serious expression on his own which Vegeta found was almost as unnerving as thinking Frieza was standing next to him, “Are you alright?”

Annoyed at his question Vegeta grunted and averted his eyes eager to break the stare, “Of course I am.” He replied,

“You didn’t hear a word I said earlier did you?” Goku continued,

Shit he had missed what Kakarot was saying to him, Vegeta sighed suddenly feeling weary as he walked back over to him, “What were you saying?” Goku was still staring at him concernedly as he drew closer but let it go as he knew Vegeta wasn’t the talking kind,

“I was thanking you for a agreeing to train with me in the hyperbolic time chamber.” Goku repeated,

_“Was that all? I thought I’d missed something important.”_

Noticing Vegeta’s silence and averted gaze he continued, “I know you probably only agreed because I said I was going to tell you the ‘secret’ behind my training but I’m glad nonetheless, you’re the only one I can train with that can match me and give me a real challenge.”

“We’re Saiyan’s Kakarot no one can ever match our strength and power, it’s only natural that I would be your only challenge.” Vegeta finally spoke even though his gaze was still focused on something seemingly more important than Goku,

Nonetheless there was the Saiyan Prince he was used too, “Yeah I guess you’re right.” Goku had his trademark look of innocence once again as he smiled widely,

_“What’s going on with you Vegeta, I wish you would talk to me.”_

“I have to know though Vegeta, since you said you want to know and follow my training technique, can I count on you to listen to me and follow my instruction?”

Goku asked a reasonable and serious question with no hidden intent but nonetheless Vegeta took it as an attack against his pride which caused him to emit a small growl as his eyes once again focused on Goku. The words Frieza had said to him only moments ago played back through his head increasing his level of rage as he barred his teeth.

_“Vegeta?”_

“You think you can order me the Prince of all Sayain’s around as if I was your servant?” He heard his own voice and realized how stupid it sounded coming from him, what had Kakarot down to incur his wrath,

“Vegeta…” Goku’s demeanor changed to suit the reassurance in his tone, “That’s not what I was trying to say at all, I just wanted to know if you could accept my instruction, I wasn’t trying to order you around, given your past training régime in the gravity room I know you’re used to pushing yourself, sometimes too far.” He continued,

Vegeta sighed again after a pause that was too long for his own liking, “Fine Kakarot, I’ll follow your instructions.”

“Great, you wait here while I let Mr. Popo know we’re here.” Goku said as he then IT’d to Popo’s location,

 _“What’s wrong with me, I shouldn’t be acting like this, especially not in front of Kakarot.”_ But he was still on edge from the strange occurrence,

He wasn’t yet sure what he was getting himself into, going into the hyperbolic time chamber for a year with Kakarot, it was going to be uncomfortable to say the least, but he could at least take solace in finding out the Sayain’s secrets. He could also look forward to a good long sparring session with the only other person who could take his full force blows and come out of the battle in once piece, worse for wear but still in one piece. It dawned on him that being alone with Kakarot for a year might cause him to do something he never imagined he would, open up, he didn’t want to but he realized with everything Kakarot knew about his life, the other Saiyan may just try and ‘talk’ to him.

Why didn’t that bother him? Why was he willing to have a conversation with his once most hated enemy? Was it because they were both Saiyan’s? He wasn’t even sure himself, but the one thing he wasn’t looking forward too was the amount of pity that would ooze from him, if they did end up talking. He didn’t want anyone’s pity; he was alive wasn’t he, wasn’t that enough? He forced a laugh at his own words, his life was hell, but death was no better, it seemed fitting that he be made to pay for his crimes in such a way that there was no escape.

He was dragged away from his thoughts once again as Goku reappeared in front of him with two fingers to his forehead, “We’re all set Vegeta, let’s go in.”

Vegeta nodded and they walked towards the entrance, but as Goku placed his hand on the door knob he turned to Vegeta and smiled, “It’s going to be an interesting year.” He said, as if he expected a great deal of resistance on Vegeta’s part, Vegeta huffed, as Goku then chuckled and held the door open for the other Saiyan leading the way into the chamber,

When they entered Vegeta walked to the very edge of the room and looked out into the white void, the empty nothingness was strangely calming to him, like there was nothing in here that could touch him, it was just him and his training, his ears pricked up however when he heard Goku speak.

_“You know Vegeta even if you follow my training you’ll never be stronger than me, I’ll make you bend your knee to my strength sooner or later.”_

Vegeta’s eyes grew wide and he gasped in shock with what he heard coming from Goku’s mouth, he hadn’t turned to face him but after hearing that his arms unfolded and hung by his sides balled into fists. The anger that he had discarded that allowed him to become friends with Kakarot was swiftly growing inside of him until he ground his teeth together so hard he thought he would chip them. He heard Goku walking towards him; he could just imagine that smug look on his face, if he turned around now to see it there would be nothing stopping him from fighting until there was nothing left to give.

The shock at what he heard had kept him from replying but as the footsteps got closer he turned so fast it caused Goku to stop walking, confusion washed over the taller Saiyan as he saw the sheer anger on Vegeta’s face.

“What.The.Hell. Did you just say Kakarot!” He applied extra emphasis to the beginning of his sentence,

Goku was confused, “Huh?”

“Don’t mess around with me Kakarot, you may very well be stronger than me but make no mistake I will fight you until I collapse.” He warned,

“Vegeta, I have no idea what you’re talking about I never said anything.” Goku defended, his puzzling look spoke volumes to Vegeta, that face was a serious look of innocence,

The anger disappeared and was replaced with his own confusion and perhaps fear, _“Am I going crazy? Did Kakarot really say this or did I…imagine it?”_

Vegeta placed a hand to his head as if to help himself focus, Goku was genuinely concerned about him and walked up to the smaller Saiyan and placed his open palm on his forehead. Vegeta jumped in surprise as he didn’t notice Goku had gotten so close so suddenly, he then slapped Goku’s hand away and turned slightly away from him folding his arms across his chest.

“Vegeta are you sure you’re alright, you don’t have a fever that I can tell, but you’re not acting like yourself today?” Goku questioned, in reality Vegeta had stopped acting like himself weeks ago,

Vegeta faced Goku giving him a look that said he didn’t need to be asked if he was okay, “Shall we start training?”

Goku looked intently at Vegeta and found it hard to ignore what was going on with his friend but nodded in agreement, “Today we will train until I say we stop, then we’re going to rest, and start training again, how does that sound?” He asked,

“Sounds fine to me Kakarot.” Vegeta wasn’t happy about the fact that rest was going to be factored into the training but he would have to bear with it to learn,

Goku powered up to Super Saiyan, “The whole time we’re in here we’re going to be in our Super Saiyan form, so that by the time we leave you won’t even notice you’re transformed, it will feel as natural to you as if you were still in your base form.”

“So that’s what you and Gohan did.” Vegeta said that as more of a realization than a question as he too powered up,

“Yeah, I know you can transform fairly easily now Vegeta but this way you won’t sacrifice any power that you would have to ascend to Super Saiyan.”

Vegeta then smirked and Goku knew he was ready to fight, “Does anything go or are we just using punches and kicks?”

Goku smirked as well, “Anything goes but don’t push yourself too far, I know you’re used to it in the gravity room, but here it’s going to be different.” He began; his smirk then faded as it was replaced with seriousness, “I just want you to know Vegeta, because I’m training with you, you will get considerably stronger but the chances of you surpassing me are very slim, I know that means a lot to you so I apologize in advance.” He continued, there was sincerity to his words that Vegeta had never seen directed towards him before,

Vegeta shrugged it off, “Even so as long as I am close to your power that will be enough, you’re kindheartedness would get us all killed, so one of us needs to be able kill our enemies when there’s no other way.” There was a smile of cockiness that Goku sometimes saw when they bested an enemy,

Goku nodded in reluctant agreement, he knew some of their enemies had to be killed, but if Vegeta was willing to step up and take the responsibility he wouldn’t argue with it, they both lifted off the ground and readied for their battle, both of them taking their stances.

“Also just so you know Vegeta.” Goku began,

“Yes Kakarot?”

“I won’t be going easy on you, but I’ll also know when you’ve had enough, so when I say we stop fighting, we stop.” Vegeta nodded in agreement,

They then disappeared, moving so fast that the untrained eye wouldn’t be able to follow them, Vegeta felt a rush surge through him as the spar began, he was about to enjoy a real fight for a change, and he was going to relish every minute of it. Goku got in his fair share of hits and so did Vegeta, they were both wiping blood from their faces by the time Goku called the battle to an end, they had both been struck to the ground, and fired blasts powerful enough to destroy the planet where it not for the chamber.

Hours had passed as they trained before touching down and walking back into the living area of the time chamber; they both entered the wash room to clean themselves. Goku dried his face off with a towel before looking over to Vegeta who was leaning against the sink staring down, Goku stood there silently simply watching the Saiyan before he looked up into the mirror to stare at him as if noticing he was being watched. Pulling the towel from around his neck Vegeta dried his face and used it to dry his golden hair rubbing vigorously although when he was done his hair was still pointing upward if only slightly messy now.

Turning to face Goku who still stared at him he spoke, “What?” was the simple question,

Goku thought of what to say after another moment of silent observation passed, “I hit you pretty hard with my Kamehameha, I didn’t mean to put that much energy into it, is your arm okay?” He asked, noticing the large bruises he had on his arms from blocking the energy wave,

Vegeta huffed, “I’m fine Kakarot, but next time don’t hesitate, I’m not Gohan you can hit me and feel no remorse.” He said, as he returned the towel around his neck,

Goku didn’t know what to make of what Vegeta had said, did he think he was going too easy on him?

_“You’re wrong Vegeta, I can’t willingly hurt you and feel no remorse didn’t our fights teach you anything? Surely you don’t dismiss yourself with such little concern…”_

“Sure I’ll remember that next time, but I’ll make sure I can divert its course just in case.” Goku smiled as he observed Vegeta’s face, he wasn’t sure if he was annoyed or surprised that Goku was handling him so gently, perhaps it was both, “Oh and another thing.” Goku said just as Vegeta was leaving,

“What?”

“Can you cook?” Goku could hear the sigh as Vegeta continued walking,


	2. I've Missed Your Body...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Has Vegeta's restlessness reached it's peak? Will his mind be the one to destroy him? Or can Goku do something to help his friend? And what new Hell will his mind see fit to drag him through when he sleeps?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the incredible delay, but I wanted to get this chapter up so I could explain why the next chapter is definitely going to be late, so I apologize in advance for that.
> 
>  
> 
>    
> (This picture link will make sense after reading the chapter, I found it and thought it worked perfectly with what was mentioned in this chapter, Enjoy!)  
> http://data.whicdn.com/images/155734530/original.jpg
> 
> (First mention of Non-Con ahead you have been warned)

**~**

It had been like this for months as they trained, Vegeta was starting to think they rested more than they fought and he hated it, he was restless, fighting was in his blood and he needed a distraction, needed to feel something other than the growing unease that he feared was consuming him. Sure he hadn’t heard voices in a while which was nice, because sooner or later Kakarot wasn’t going to just sit by without trying to get to the bottom of the problem he was experiencing if the voices did return. Kakarot was asleep that much was obvious with the snoring he could hear, it wasn’t that he couldn’t sleep through the noise because that didn’t bother him it was the lack of activity that bothered him.

This was his chance, he pushed himself off the wall he was leaning on and took to the air as he traveled a further distance from the chambers living area than he had when he had entered before, it wasn’t going to be a problem to get back, Kakarot’s energy level was his shining beacon home. He touched down and held his arms close to his side, spreading his feet apart he took on a defensive stance preparing for what he was about to do, he wasn’t sure what the outcome of his actions would be but he was going to test the waters. He looked upward and started channeling his power, his shouts pierced the silence of the white emptiness, as he reached the ascended level of Super Saiyan and kept climbing.

As he did so an ocean of flames appeared and he pushed on, the flames whipped about his body fiercely he felt the heat and the burn but pushed on regardless of the pain, fuelling his need to push his limits. He could feel his power peak, he hadn’t progressed as far as he had hoped but that didn’t’ stop him, he lifted off the ground and floated the flames still lashing his body in a deadly dance. He pushed further, it did nothing for him now he was only over exerting himself it was draining his energy rapidly and he knew it but he didn’t care, the flames and pain mirrored his own tortured soul at that time, and he wanted to release it, every last bitter drop.

Goku’s eyes opened, he could sense the energy from Vegeta spike, what was he doing? They had agreed that they would only train together and that they wouldn’t push themselves beyond their limit, but that was exactly what Vegeta was doing. He was pushing himself beyond his physical limit and now it was only depleting his energy, he could sense it dropping rapidly, he had to get to Vegeta and quickly to stop him from continuing whatever he was doing. He hadn’t counted on Vegeta going so far away from the entrance and he was almost worried that he wouldn’t make it back but he had to find him. He flew further away from the entrance and that was when he found him, but by that time Vegeta had nothing left.

Vegeta stopped and panted heavily it had now become a task to draw breath, and then he sensed Kakarot and close by too, he looked beside him and if he had the energy left he would have jumped with how close he was.

He looked him in the eyes wearily, “Kaka…rot.”

“You broke our agreement Vegeta, I’m disappointed in you, and you were progressing so well.” Goku was slightly higher than him in the air and looked down on him annoyedly,

Vegeta was about to protest and defend himself, but he had no energy left, his hair faded to black and he fell limp, Goku quickly flew down and caught him before he hit the ground. He was completely limp and Goku could hear his labored breathing, why had he done this, why had he pushed himself so far just now, what did he stand to gain but the fatigue that came with over exertion. Goku looked into his weary face, and wandered why he sought to push his limits to border on self-destruction, why was he always like this, when did self-torment become something that he needed? Carrying Vegeta back to the living area bridal-style he touched down and laid him in bed, he looked him over to see if he had done anything to himself that couldn’t be mended with the supplies they had, and thankfully he hadn’t.

He noticed that his skin was almost burning to the touch and placed his open palm on his forehead pushing loose jet-black hair out of the way as he did so, he was hot, too hot, but he was also shivering, perhaps from exhaustion, he wasn’t sure. Not wanting to take chances he removed Vegeta’s armor and placed it on the chair beside the bed then walked into the wash room only to return with a bowl of cool water and a cloth. He wasn’t sure what Vegeta would think if he found out he was doing this but with the state he was in he was sure he wouldn’t remember a thing, so dipping the cloth in the water he began to sponge his skin with its damp coolness.

 _“You disappointed me Vegeta, we had an agreement, and what good did this do you? If I hadn’t of gotten you would you have been lying out there for hours still? Alone and in pain? I wish I could understand you, I wish you would let me.”_ He voiced his concerns in his head rather than say them out loud incase by some chance Vegeta was to remember this moment,

As he continued his task he studied his tired unconscious form, there was something to Vegeta that he admired, sure he was a jerk most of the time but you had to understand him to know that under all the insulting there was a boy screaming ‘help me’ his life had merely spat back out the monster that he once saw. Every one of his actions was the direct opposite of what he was feeling, his every move was a contradiction to what he really wanted and Goku understood that, but he wished he understood more. He could never forget the time Vegeta had basically begged him with his dying breath to kill Frieza and he didn’t he couldn’t do it, and what had happened because of that, he came back he wanted revenge, even Krillin had explained the sheer fear that Vegeta displayed for Frieza.

He saw the state that Vegeta was in once he joined the fray on Namek but how had he gotten to that stage? What had that monster done to him while he was recovering, what was going on while he could sense the rapid decline in Vegeta’s energy? And not only that what had happened to him while he was working under Frieza to make him so fearful, he knew that Frieza threatened to kill his father in order to get him to bend to his will but there had to be more to it than that. Did he want to know though? He knew he could find out in a matter of seconds what Vegeta’s life had been like by reading his thoughts but that was wrong, he wouldn’t invade his mind just for his own curiosity, he wouldn’t even do it to an enemy and Vegeta definitely wasn’t his enemy. He hadn’t been for a long time.

He was exhausted himself, they had trained far longer than they intended too but they got caught up in the battle and continued until neither of them could muster the energy to remain Super Saiyan. He had no idea where Vegeta had found the energy to do what he just did but the determination that burned within him was impressive, his desire to be number one was a force to be reckoned with, it meant so much to him, and it was unmistakable. Dipping the washcloth back in the bowl he rinsed it thoroughly and then set it on Vegeta’s forehead, if nothing else it would give him some little comfort, feeling his skin again he noticed it had cooled considerably and Goku was happy with that, now it was just a waiting game before he awoke. Pulling the covers up to Vegeta’s waist he returned to his own bed, settling back down to get what sleep he could.

Hours had passed and Goku had busied himself with making the both of them some food, no doubt after exerting himself so much earlier Vegeta would want to eat to replenish his strength. He wasn’t really good at cooking but it looked good to him and if it looked good to him than it was acceptable, the food he had made mostly consisted of rice dishes with some meats and other vegetables. While Goku was putting the food on the table he noticed that Vegeta had started to stir so he quickly set up the rest of the dishes and then moved to the bedside.

Vegeta groaned occasionally probably from overused muscles before he finally started opening his eyes, the first thing that came into view and focused was the form of Goku, and his expression was serious and unimpressed. He noticed that there was something on his forehead and he pushed himself into a sitting position with one hand while raising the other to his head to see what it was, pulling it off he noticed it was a still damp washcloth. Pushing himself into a more comfortable sitting position he looked up at Goku who still held his gaze, then the next thing he noticed was his armor that was sitting on the chair beside his bed. He lifted the sheets just the same to confirm what he already knew before looking back to Goku.

“Kakarot.” His voice was testing and hoarse he wanted to know if Goku was angry at him, “Why am I naked?”

Goku’s expression softened but a minute amount, “I didn’t know if you risked the threat of running a fever so I took care of you.” He said blankly,

Vegeta stared down into his lap, “I don’t know what you were trying to do Vegeta but it was foolish.” Goku continued and Vegeta simply grunted,

“You also broke our agreement, I’m disappointed in you.”

For a brief moment Goku saw a flash of fear on Vegeta’s face when he turned back to look at him wide-eyed the moment he heard what he said, it was a strange trigger but he knew what he saw. Vegeta looked through Goku as if he was seeing someone else standing in his place, he then bowed his head low and muttered in a voice merely above a whisper that Goku barely heard.

“Forgive me, it won’t happen again I swear.” There it was again _fear_ ,

Goku and Vegeta were both surprised by the words that came out of his mouth, he placed his hand to his lips as if he couldn’t understand how that had come from him, Goku looked at him puzzlingly, his whole attitude was off. He watched as Vegeta started crushing the washcloth in his hand causing a few drops to run over his fingers, was this shame? No doubt, Vegeta would never have said that in a million years, it was strange and unnerving. Without a word Goku left Vegeta’s bedside and turned his back to him, returning to the table where the food sat, he didn’t turn around as if waiting for Vegeta to dress, he assumed the hint was taken when he heard Vegeta start dressing.

Finally he heard footsteps behind him and Goku turned to see Vegeta walking expressionlessly towards the table to take his seat on the opposite side, he eyed Goku as if expecting something.

“What were you doing Vegeta, and why?” He asked, seeing an opening,

“Nothing you need to worry about Kakarot.” Vegeta dismissed,

“You were burning up when I brought you here Vegeta, I don’t know what you were doing but after the months we had been training I didn’t think you would betray our agreement.”

“If you want to hit me fine, do it, if not then shut up, because I’m sure the food is getting cold.” Vegeta almost retorted with much more aggression than he wanted, He sighed, “Look Kakarot don’t ask me what I was doing, it wasn’t my intention to have you look after me or break our agreement even though I did so willingly, if you still want to train with me I won’t do it again.” Vegeta finished as he looked Goku in the eye with seriousness not unlike him,

“Of course I’ll still train with you Vegeta I just wish I knew what you were doing, you’ve been acting strangely for a while now and at first I wasn’t going to say anything about it, but you haven’t changed.”

“You’re the one who wanted me to be your friend.” Vegeta pointed out as he looked at Goku with an expression that was asking why his new attitude was strange if it was what he asked for,

“Yeah, I did didn’t I.” There was a pause, “Are you feeling better?” Vegeta nodded,

“Do you think you’ll be able to spar today?”

His smirk was back, “Wouldn’t miss it Kakarot.”

Goku’s stomach growled hungrily, “Let’s talk more after we eat.” Goku said before they both got stuck into their meal,

Later they trained, for hours, it seemed that Vegeta had thoroughly healed and had a renewed vigor that impressed Goku, as he had hit him with a good amount of force with his Galick Gun attack that sent him flying. Vegeta was refueled that was for sure but it was his shame and broken pride that caused him to fight beyond his usual limit when he sparred with Goku, how dare he let the man hear him speak like that. There was only one person who ever got to hear him speak like that and now he was dead never to bother him again, it was bad enough the man had seen him cry and beg for Frieza’s death now he saw a glimpse of what he was while under his rule. A beaten disgrace of a Saiyan.

The time chamber had never bothered him when he trained in it before, he saw everything as a challenge and relished every minute of it, now he couldn’t wait for it to be over, he didn’t want to let Kakarot see another broken minute of him, his defensive wall had been penetrated and he wanted to escape. No one was ever the victor in their spars but Vegeta knew Kakarot was always the victor, he always held back, even when Vegeta demanded that he not go easy on him, it infuriated him. But even so Vegeta himself never had to exceed a certain amount of power so did that make him a hypocrite? Although during their battle Vegeta gave Kakarot a cocky grin before he powered up and unleashed his final flash attack, he knew this move was going to end their spar but he didn’t mind, he wanted to see how powerful it had become.

Goku saw the blast coming at him and used his Kamehameha to deflect it but the energy wave persisted so Goku put everything he had into it and finally the blast was deflected and exploded in the distant, as they both watched it panting heavily. They looked to each other and realized it was time for a break, but not before they silently gave each other the due respect they each deserved because both had put everything they had into their attacks. When they returned to the entrance Vegeta was the first to the wash room while Goku decided to rummage around to see what food he could find. The cool water from the shower felt great against his skin and exhausted muscles, it washed the blood from their battle away and he felt renewed but also hungry, he huffed a laugh to himself as he thought about Kakarot’s eating habit.

He stepped out of the shower and walked across the room drying his hair letting the water from the rest of his body drip to the floor as he went, he then wrapped the towel around his waist and it was then that he heard it and it sent a shiver down his spine.

 _“Vegeta…how I missed that taut controlled body of yours.”_ He felt two hands grab both his hips he gasped in fear and the promise of unimaginable pain,

Kakarot had heard the gasp that was loud enough to be a quiet shout and soon he knocked on the door to the wash room, “Vegeta, everything okay in there?” He asked concernedly,

Vegeta gripped the sink and grit his teeth together as a snake-like white appendage trailed up his leg under the towel, _“Well go on Vegeta, tell him you’re fine.”_ The sadistically eerie voice crooned, too close to his ear for comfort,

Vegeta didn’t want to open his mouth to speak afraid that another gasp would escape so he shook his head in refusal, the appendage soon traced Vegeta’s ass until it found what it was looking for and it then pushed inside. His eyes shut so hard he could see colors and the guttural groan that was ground out against his clenched teeth formed only one word.

“Ka..Ka..Rot.” His name was ground out loud enough for him to hear on the other side of the door and he swiftly opened it to see Vegeta doubled over the sink in what appeared to be pain,

“Vegeta.” He hurried over to him and put his arm around his shoulder for comfort even though he had no idea what was happening,

 _“How dare you ruin my fun Vegeta.”_ The crooning voice mocked,

The appendage was removed from its location so swiftly that it caused Vegeta to gasp and fall backward knocking Goku over as they fell down together, with Vegeta ending up panting hoarsely in his arms. Goku assumed a sitting position and held him loosely as his back rested against his chest because it seemed that in that moment Vegeta wasn’t able to support himself he could see the difference between the sweat and water that covered Vegeta’s body but still had no idea what was going on. Goku thought Vegeta’s heart was going to beat out of his chest as the thumping he could feel from the position they had was intense, he wanted to ask what had happened as he noticed Vegeta calming down somewhat.

“Vegeta?” He heard his name being called and opened his eyes almost instantly as he took in his surroundings, he swiftly noticed that the attacker from earlier was nowhere to be seen and then noticed that he was pretty much sitting in Kakarot’s lap,

Vegeta turned his head to the side in an attempt to look behind him at Kakarot, “What happened?” He asked,

Goku felt bewildered that was supposed to be his next question, “I was going to ask you the same thing.” It was then that he noticed Vegeta was shaking as he moved his hands to try and support himself,

“Are you in pain?”

Vegeta nodded almost vigorously.

“Where?”

Vegeta paused, there was no way he was actually going to tell him the truth so he decided on an alternative answer, “My..legs.” He cursed himself for the broken speech, but considered his answer for a moment, he wasn’t actually lying

“Did you want to just stay like this until it gets better?” Vegeta once again nodded in agreement, his pride took a hit but he allowed it reluctantly,

He questioned the whole thing in his head as the pain slowly dissipated, this couldn’t have actually happened, was he being haunted by Frieza now? Impossible this couldn’t be the case, but then why did he feel the pain as if the assault he just received actually took place? His heart began to beat faster again, was he actually losing it? Even if he wasn’t going crazy he was sure he was now, he wasn’t even free from his most hated enemy in death. He was dead wasn’t he? He wasn’t still alive somehow…no impossible he watched his son from the future kill him with a swing from his sword, but if that was the case, what the hell was going on.

Goku noticed Vegeta’s heart started to race again and peered over his shoulder to see that his breathing was slightly erratic and his eyes were closed, even though he supported some of his own weight Vegeta still looked relatively limp in his embrace. Some time had passed and Vegeta hadn’t even noticed as his mind raced a mile a minute, finally after the long silence with only Vegeta’s breathing interrupting it, he spoke.

“Are you feeling better now Vegeta?”

“Yes, it’s mostly passed now.” He answered, as he drifted from his thoughts,

“If I helped you, do you think you could stand?” Vegeta gave a single nod,

Using the nearby bench Goku wrapped his arm around Vegeta’s chest and pulled him upward a small groan escaped his lips as he stood on shaky legs, but Goku held him until he could stand, he leant against the bench and looked at Goku who he had used unintentionally as a towel.

“Sorry about your Gi.” Vegeta offered, he watched as Goku realized he was partially soaked,

“Hey don’t sweat it, but what happened, did we train too hard today?” Goku asked,

“I don’t know, perhaps we did.” The small of his back ached too as he stretched slightly,

“Well we’re definitely resting until you feel better.” Vegeta offered a nod as silent acknowledgment, “Are you hungry I found some food?” Vegeta sighed and smiled ever so slightly,

“You and that stomach of yours Kakarot.” He huffed a laugh,

“I can help you to the table if you like, I was going to make some coffee as well if you’re interested in that too.”

Everything Kakarot offered was like music to his ears, “Sounds good.” He offered,

Without warning Goku slung Vegeta’s right arm over his shoulder, “Let me put some pants on first Idiot!” Vegeta nearly hissed,

Goku apologized and retrieving Vegeta’s training pants he handed them to him and turned his back to let Vegeta dress, “Now I’m ready.”

Resuming the previous position Goku helped Vegeta walk to the table, he wasn’t sure if it was really necessary but Kakarot had already seen him weakened at this point he might as well go with it. Once he was seated Goku set about making coffee putting perhaps too much sugar in it, Vegeta didn’t complain however so he was either still in pain or he liked it, he then placed food in front of him which didn’t last long. Once Goku was seated and ate his share he wrapped his hands around his coffee considering Vegeta across the table, noticing he was being watched Vegeta looked up from his cup and at Goku.

“Did you want to leave the time chamber Vegeta?” He asked finally,

“Why?”

“Things…seem to be happening with you in here, and I don’t like it, I asked you here so that we could have some time away from everything so that we could just spar as friends, you and me, but now it seems I’ve only been causing you pain.” Goku explained,

“Leaving now would change nothing, I’ve gotten a more punishing workout in the gravity room than I have here.” Vegeta said before taking a sip from his cup the taste was still weird but pleasant to him,

“Vegeta I know you want to finish training with me to become stronger but is it worth it, going through this?”

“Believe it or not Kakarot this is the first time I’ve been able to fully enjoy your company…I’d rather not interrupt our training, if that’s alright with you, and if we left now nothing would change, you at least understand me as a Saiyan, Bulma doesn’t understand, though I’ve tried to explain it to her.” Vegeta said,

Goku laughed halfheartedly, “Yeah Chi-Chi’s the same at least Bulma isn’t directly against you training since she fixes the gravity room every time you break it.” Vegeta considered it and realized he had the better arrangement,

“Then why are you so eager to leave?” Vegeta’s question was a reasonable one,

“I guess I don’t want to leave early either.” Goku realized,

“You’d leave just so I wouldn’t be hurt anymore?” Vegeta asked next, Goku nodded his answer,

“I swear Kakarot if things weren’t as they are now, I probably would have tried to kill you for saying that.”

“I know.” Goku smiled, how close had they gotten over the years that this was acceptable,

He hid it from Kakarot but he was still in a hell unimaginable to him, that only Vegeta could understand. The encounter that had taken place only moments ago was torturing him with unknowns, but all of them boiled down to either a haunting or his mind was breaking. He didn’t like either of the conclusions but there was nothing he could do about it, if he was in fact being haunted he was sure he could remember Bulma mentioning an exorcist and if it was truly his mind that was breaking than…perhaps he could…

 _“No…I’ll never do it.”_ He might not want to suffer, but he wasn’t a coward, _“I hope wherever you are Tarble your happy, I’m glad father sent you away long ago, I don’t know what I would do if you had to endure this fate along with me…I wouldn’t have wanted to have to kill you just to spare you…be safe and enjoy your life for the both of us.”_

Goku noticed the turmoil that had clouded Vegeta’s face and wanted to do something about it, “Hey Vegeta, more food?” He asked,

“Sure why not.” Was Vegeta’s reply as he left his eyes closed to remain with his thoughts, _Thank you._

_“What aren’t you telling me Vegeta? What really just happened to you? Can’t you see I want to help you?”_

Goku continued to watch the older Saiyan as he prepared more food, his blank half-lidded stare at nothing in particular had him wandering. What was he thinking about, was it something that he should know? He knew Vegeta’s pride had just taken a beating, under any other circumstances he would have ordered him to fight just so he could regain a small portion of honor, but he hadn’t this time. Whatever happened must be more important than his pride, and for Vegeta that was saying a lot. Goku made a note to not stare too long in case he was discovered but he couldn’t help it, there was so much puzzling emotion running across the prince’s face, and he wanted to make sense of it.

“Hey Vegeta.” Goku called,

“What?”

“Would you mind if I suggest you rest for at least a whole day before we go back to training?”

“Why are you asking me? You’re the one who said I was supposed to listen to your instruction.” Vegeta pointed out,

“Yeah but you still have a say, it wouldn’t be fair if I never gave you a choice.”

“I agree with your decision, I don’t mind.” Vegeta complied, not once turning to look at him as he continued his unfocused stare,

Goku couldn’t deny that Vegeta was in a pitiful state but he tried not to let it show, “Great, it will give us time to let our muscles heal, that and I’m really tired after we eat I’m going to take a shower and sleep for a while, if you get bored I guess you can wake me if you want, not sure what there would be to do though since we’re resting but oh well.”

Vegeta huffed out a response, and Goku then returned his attention to preparing food his brow set in a frown as he continued to mull over the storm that had seized his friend. He wouldn’t have suspected anything other than over exertion was wrong with Vegeta if he hadn’t started acting strange before they even entered the time chamber, but since he had it left his head spinning in curiosity. There wasn’t a single thing he could attribute this strangeness to, Vegeta was always so composed and calm despite everything, the only time he had seen him like this that he thought was noteworthy was in the past, when they had faced Frieza. He dismissed the idea of Frieza playing a part in his friend’s problems simply because there had been no mention of the tyrant for years.

Goku had no idea if Vegeta’s problems were going to solve themselves but for his sake he hoped they did, because he knew how important his pride was to him, and if Goku had to intervene it would be a major stroke, although he wasn’t about to stand by idly if there was something he could do. Finally having finished making food he carried it over to the table in strides until the table was laden with food dishes.

“I can’t cook very well so I apologize in advance Vegeta.” Goku said with one of his goofy grins, his aquamarine eyes peering at Vegeta innocently,

Vegeta looked up at him from where he was staring to give him a weary look that signified his lack of concern for what the Saiyan had said before he slid his mug out of the way and got busy with his food, glad for the distraction to his mind wandering. Time passed agonizingly slowly for Vegeta as he lay in bed staring up at the canopy, and not only that but his visions of Frieza were getting worse, it wasn’t that he saw Frieza per say it was that he kept hearing that bastards mocking voice. He kept threatening he would once again force him back into his employ and that not even death could keep him safe, when he calmed himself and forced the knowledge of imprisonment in hell into his mind the visions would stop and he could rest peacefully but soon his fear crept back as strong as ever.

_“Could he escape from hell? Surely not even he had that power, either way I have become significantly stronger since our battle, there is no way he can defeat me now as I am a Super Saiyan.”_

_“Keep telling yourself that monkey.”_

Vegeta looked over to see Frieza in his final form sitting on the side of his bed, he jumped instinctively but as swiftly as it had appeared the image of his enemy was gone, he rubbed a shaky hand through his hair in an attempt to calm himself. He hadn’t slept in a while, so he assumed his fatigue was partially to blame for this. He wasn’t sure if he was going to be able to sleep with his mind racing as fast as it was, but he reminded himself that Kakarot was sleeping in the bed adjacent his so he at least had someone to aid him if needed. His fear was soon replaced with irritation and anger at the thought of needing to rely on Kakarot, the man was always one step ahead of him, so he immediately shut the idea of asking for his aid out of his mind and flopped back against the soft covers still staring at the canopy.

_“One day Kakarot…one day I will be stronger than you, and when that day comes I will make sure you are the first to know.”_

He closed his eyes and allowed himself to relax, he hadn’t bothered adorning the rest of his armor once he had finished eating seeing’s as he intended to catch up on his lost sleep just as Kakarot did so all he wore were his training pants. He also hadn’t bothered going Super Saiyan again after his encounter in the wash room sapped it from him and he knew if he powered up now Kakarot would wake up and he’d rather let the man sleep. He reflected back on the moment and realized that he felt normal, he didn’t feel as if anything had happened earlier, was his lack of sleep really messing with him that much? He’d been exhausted before he fell unconscious earlier and when he had woken he was no better but he wanted to destroy something to take his mind off the shame of Kakarot ‘taking care of him’ so he insisted on battle even though his body screamed in protest.

It wasn’t long until he drifted into the arms of sleep, soon to find that his mind was about to drag him through hell.

 


	3. Drag Me To Hell!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vegeta's mind has captured him, with his subconscious running wild what fate awaits him? What will he be made to endure? And is there a way for Goku to save him? Will Vegeta even be able to withstand what his mind can throw at him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay this has been edited sooooo many times, it started with 4k words and now it's ended with 5k+ and because I've written on ahead before editing this the following chapters will have to be edited accordingly. And I have to say after editing this chapter a lot I am not content with it's level of violence it should have been much better, I am disappointed in myself ={  
> ...I am also not happy with the fight scene I put in here but it kinda works with what I wanted...so look past it people, I try to >_>  
> (NonRebloggingViewersWillBeShot on Tumblr has all the teaser art for the third chapter if you feel you need some visual aide)
> 
> Also I would like to apologize for the delay, but University has started and now I will be busy writing thousands of words on stuff I don't want to ugh...so forgive me peoples I am sorry.
> 
> And before reading some things need to be explained:  
> ( This entire chapter is a dream sequence so everything is in Italic )  
> ( 'This means that someone is thinking inside the dream...not sure that needed to be explained but still' -thoughts inside thoughts =P )  
> ( ***These mean there is a flashback inside the dream, they will specify the start and finish of a flashback*** -more thoughts inside thoughts )
> 
> !!!Warning!!!  
> Huge Rape Scene Ahead!  
> Underage Rape Scene!  
> Lot's of Language!  
> Psychological Anguish!  
> Thoughts Of Suicide!
> 
> You have been warned!

**~**

_He was lying on a hard surface and he softly grunted as his back protested stiffly, he had been lying like this for a while if the aching of his back was any indication. He opened his eyes that suddenly seemed so heavy and pushed himself up on his elbows to look around, it was dark and there was only a faint light in the room, he wasn’t in the time chamber anymore that much he knew but nothing more. He rose to his feet unsteadily as if the gravity was so much stronger than he was used to, he then walked shakily towards the only light source he could see, that lead out of the room he was in. He rested a hand on the door frame to help support some of his weight and peeked out to see where he was, he was looking into a rounded hallway and then his stomach sunk making him feel nauseous._

_This was Frieza’s ship._

_There was no mistaking it, he would know it anywhere from the amount of time he spent on it, what was he doing here, and why was it so dimly lit? He was sure the ship was destroyed when Namek exploded, but how was it here? And how had he come to be on it? Concern welled within him. Finding that his usual strength had returned he turned left down the hallway towards what used to be Frieza’s control room, he didn’t know why he was going there specifically but he felt a strange calling towards it. Something commanded his body to journey towards it even though he didn’t know why. He wasn’t equipped for battle as he was only wearing his training pants which he had chosen to sleep in, but if Frieza was here he was more than ready to give that bastard the battle he was looking for._

_He couldn’t deny how exposed he felt, facing his most feared enemy without even as much as battle armor was daunting, then thoughts crept into his head, he had been utterly humiliated when they last fought, in front of the earthlings and the Namekian no less. But things were different then, he thought he was a super saiyan, but he wasn’t. Now he was though so in his mind things would be different, he should have the energy required to defeat him easily, because not only was he a super saiyan but he had ascended beyond its base level. However thoughts of his past life wouldn’t leave his mind, the feeling of helplessness, the desire to simply resign himself to his fate and have it over and done with as soon as possible._

_No._

_He wasn’t going to think like this, not when victory was so close within his reach._

_Pushing aside his apprehension, he cracked his knuckles as he walked preparing himself for an inevitable fight, and a smirk tugged at his lips as he cockily thought of how he was going to greet his nemesis and explain to him how big of a mistake he had made. Upon reaching the room he pressed the button beside the door and it shot open, he walked in till he stood almost in the middle of the room and then it shut behind him, the room was suddenly pitch black as the light from the hallway was all he had and he swiftly assumed his fighting pose ready for the first move._

_‘Crack!’_

_Searing hot, burning white pain shot through his leg as it was knocked out from under him, the audible cracking sound of bone struck his ears as he fell to his side with a shrill of pain as he went._

_His right leg was broken, the bone had been shattered and he could feel it._

_His face was contorted in sheer agony as small choked gasps of pain escaped his gaping mouth. Shock and surprise hit him almost as hard as whatever broke his leg and he ground his teeth together and curled slightly his hands making their way to his now useless leg as he couldn’t move it at all, and when he did try it hurt like hell. Intense white light filled the room suddenly as the lights came on and another blow struck him in the side breaking ribs with the force behind it as he was tossed across the room and struck the wall hard with his back._

_Another shriek of pain escaped his lips as he sprawled out in a broken heap on the floor, the sound of something tapping on metal caught his attention as it grew louder the closer it got. He lifted his head off the metal tile flooring and coughed, blood sprayed from his mouth ruining it, his eyes refocused on what stood before him and he gasped in fear as he looked into the face of none other than Frieza. Instinctively he attempted to push himself away from the creature his nightmares were born from and his back pressed against the wall, even though every move had been one of pain it seemed to all disappear in that moment._

_“Nice to finally see you again my little monkey.” The raspy voice crooned, the tip of his snake like tail slid through the blood Vegeta had coughed up and he drew it to his lips licking it clean, “You taste just as good as I remember too.” He continued with the same tone,_

_Nothing coherent was coming from Vegeta’s mouth that was still gaping open as he was wide-eyed in horror at the sight before him, he was eager to see Frieza so that he could fight him, but not like this, this was all wrong. With an impossible speed Frieza had made his move. His vice like grip was around Vegeta’s neck pinning him face first against the wall, his cheek pressed against the metal, but holding him high enough so that his only good leg was barely touching the floor keeping him from being chocked. A rebellious gasp of pain escaped Vegeta’s lips before he could stop it as he then screwed his eyes tightly shut and ground his teeth together to stifle anymore sounds that sought escape._

_His hands instinctively clawed at the force that kept him pinned against the wall further crushing the ribs that were already broken, but it was no use, the grip around his throat wasn’t going to be loosened even in the slightest._

_Vegeta felt hot breath against his ear and it sent a shiver up his spine as he ground his teeth harder._

_“Did you miss me Vegeta?” Frieza asked,_

_“Fu..Fuck You!” He ground out,_

_He heard a sick chuckle, “I really have missed you my little prince.”_

_Vegeta received a swift but powerful hit to the small of his back and though he fought the rising lump in his throat it was no use as he choked out more blood that then began to seep from his mouth and down his chin. He felt a tongue lap at it, the coarseness of its taste buds making him shiver in disgust. His eyes shot open as he felt Frieza’s knee part his legs by lifting his broken one out of the way sending a ripple of agony through him and it was then he felt Frieza’s free hand come to rest and grope the base of his member roughly. Another wave of shivers washed over him and the tongue was withdrawn from his cheek as he felt hot breath in his ear again._

_“Your body seems to have missed my touch Vegeta, you always did respond so well.” The satisfaction in his voice was sickening, “You’ll come for me won’t you Vegeta? Like you always do, like a good bitch?” He continued,_

_Shame washed over Vegeta as he felt the molesting hand fondle him mercilessly, it sickened him how Frieza used that line whenever his body betrayed him, he cursed his body for failing him every time, for giving Frieza more fodder to screw with his head. He hated every agonizing second of these encounters and Frieza knew that but he would always torture him further because of his failing body, it was weak even as his spirit bucked and protested a testament to his unwavering pride. His gut sank further as he felt himself becoming hard at Frieza’s touch, he felt bile rise in his throat at the very thought of coming from this bastards touch like he wanted, he convulsed slightly, he was losing control of his body and he mentally screamed at himself to regain his senses._

_He felt him rub and stroke his length as best he could while he still wore his pants, “Stop…Fucking..Touching Me!” Vegeta ordered through his ground teeth that were starting to give him a headache,_

_“Do you need to come already Vegeta?” His new sultry tone caused the lump in Vegeta’s throat to return and threaten once more only this time he could taste it,_

_“Nnngh..Go..Fuck Yourself!” He shouted,_

_“I’m about to be too busy fucking you.” Vegeta whimpered in despair as Frieza emphasized key words to make sure his point was received loud and clear,_

_During the whole ordeal Vegeta’s hands had given up trying to pry the immovable force that was Frieza away from him and instead both his hands had crushed indents into the metal wall as he gripped it like his life depended on it._

_It was then that he felt it._

_He was close._

_‘Gods no…anything but this, stop, stop, STOP!’_

_He hated this part perhaps the most, he hated coming at Frieza’s hand, it was a direct violation of every protest he ever made, his body was saying ‘Yes’ while his mind was screaming ‘No’._

_It hit._

_He convulsed in a body wide spasm as he spoiled his training pants with his seed, the lump in his throat could no longer be held back and he heaved several times as Frieza continued his assault vomiting out nothing but frothy blood. His stomach continued to lurch forward as it seemed an endless amount of blood was being purged from his body. He shook uncontrollably even after Frieza had finally removed his hand from his crotch, Vegeta gasped for breath as he choked on the blood his body had tried to throw up._

_“You..kuhh…bastard.” Vegeta spat through haggard panting,_

_“You ungrateful monkey, I could have entered you without making it less painful for you first by arousing you.” Frieza mocked,_

_“You would have..ghhh..done it anyway if it suited you.”_

_The sides of Frieza’s mouth pulled into an evil grin, “So it seems you’ve learned something after all my little prince.”_

_“I’m not that..weak sniveling child I was before Frieza!”_

_“No that’s true you are now a weak, sniveling, fully grown circus act, who still comes even after the briefest stimulation.” Frieza insulted,_

_“That may be so but..it was a worthless Saiyan monkey that defeated you on Namek…and it was my son, who defeated you on earth after you were rebuilt…so who’s weak now?” He choked out a small laugh as he spoke,_

_Frieza jerked his knee upward and Vegeta grunted, “For someone completely at my mercy Vegeta you never cease to surprise me with that amazingly delicious, rebellious attitude of yours, I’m going to enjoy breaking you again my pet.”_

_“You…underestimate me Frieza.”_

_“No I’m pretty sure I don’t, this has gone on so long it’s like a routine, I always break you and then you sing beautifully.”_

_“Keep that attitude up and you’re not going to survive for much longer Frieza.” There was a drive and smugness back in Vegeta’s voice,_

_Frieza made a curious grunt._

_“I’ve become stronger since we last fought…Nnngh…I’ve become a true Super Saiyan.”_

_“You’re just full of shit aren’t you Vegeta, you weren’t a Super Saiyan when you said you were before, and you aren’t now.” Frieza dismissed as he let his knee lower till his foot was firmly planted back on the floor, “Must I remind you of the public humiliation I inflicted upon you then?”_

_Vegeta hissed in pain as the broken bones in his leg were moved, the blood gargled in his throat as he gave a small chuckle causing him to choke slightly but he persisted, and Frieza was intrigued further._

_“Then allow me to show you.” Vegeta offered, he didn’t have a chance and he knew it, at this point it was a last attempt at defiance,_

_“I don’t know why you persist when you know it’s futile but just so you know Vegeta, if you’re going to go through with this you better hope you can defeat me, because if you can’t I’m going to fuck you so hard you’ll be a literal bloody mess.” Frieza warned as he then withdrew his hand from Vegeta’s neck and took several steps backwards,_

_“I give you about three seconds before I have you pinned back against the wall.”_

_Fear flashed over his face as he heard Frieza’s words, he knew that was going to happen regardless, at least this way he had one last chance to rekindle his pride before the inevitable occurred, one last attempt to hold his head up high before it was slammed into the dirt. He nearly fell when Frieza relinquished his grip with the state of his leg, but he hoped he had enough energy to surge through the pain and reach his Super Saiyan form long enough to at least land a hit._

_It heard his need and responded._

_His hair and eyes changed color and he glanced at Frieza who had a now intrigued expression, the pain fuelled Vegeta further as he then in one last desperate attempt threw himself at Frieza disappearing and then reappearing beside him, he landed a hit to the side of his head that held all the power he had left in him. The hit connected he knew it did he felt it, but then Frieza disappeared and Vegeta panicked he realized he didn’t have enough power to even make a difference. Of course he knew it would be the case, but still he had hoped for even a small chance..._

_He felt a hand grab hold of his pants just before a swift kick knocked him forward with a loud rip, he landed sprawled on the floor with a groan of misery but his hair however was still gold, he hadn’t relinquished his hold on this form yet. He lifted his head to look at Frieza who was slowly walking over to him as fresh blood seeped from his mouth, but he saw it Frieza had blood coming from the corner of his mouth too, he had done it, he had scored his precious hit._

_“Don’t get cocky Vegeta you may have hit me, but you know you’re going to pay for the blood you drew.” Frieza warned as he licked the blood from his face,_

_Vegeta wished he could say he didn’t care now, that he had gotten what he wanted, but that wasn’t true, he knew what was in store for him and he was scared beyond comprehension. He was too weak to lift himself off the floor that attack had literally taken every ounce of power that still coursed through him, and now he no longer had anything left, he was spent completely; he didn’t even know why his golden locks remained._

_Now at the mercy or lack thereof, of Frieza._

_The surprisingly cold air he felt against him indicated that his pants had been completely torn off above the knee the all too familiar fate worse than death was about to take place. He felt the familiar hand at his throat. Gasping slightly from the pressure a useless hand rose to remove it; he was pushed downward against the floor and then dragged back to where they had been only moments ago leaving a trail of saliva and blood behind. The force behind the push that had him splayed against the wall once more caused fresh blood to seep down his chin as he felt and heard the sound of more broken bones. A small wave of groans escaped his ground teeth._

_“I warned you monkey but it seems you never listen to a word I say.”_

_Sharp nails pierced the soft flesh of his ass and his eyes closed tighter but it did nothing to stifle the haggard groans that escaped easily, “You’re almost ready for me aren’t you Vegeta?” He didn’t have the energy to curse him,_

_“So docile like a good monkey.” The hand then relinquished it’s painful grip of Vegeta’s right ass cheek and beading blood from the nail wounds left glistening red trails down his thigh,_

_The hand made an agonizingly slow feather-light trail towards his opening as a thumb pushed its way inside while the remainder of his fingers fondled his ballsack, the bastard was trying to arouse him again. Faint panting groans filled the air like a sick symphony but he knew it was music to Frieza’s ears; he slid his thumb in and out rhythmically the blood that coated it offered no aide._

_“I might have to take back what I said Vegeta, not even getting you aroused would loosen you, I only have one finger inserted and still I can feel your tight muscles, just imagine how it’s going to feel very shortly...just like when you were young.”_

_Dread, fear, and shame assaulted his very being as he was being finger-fucked, he felt an exhale of warm breath on his shoulder before a hot, wet mouth clamped over a tensed muscle and bit down hard._

_“Guh-h-h..Argh!” He felt the sucking sensation against his pierced skin as Frieza consumed his blood like a fine wine, “Bastard!” He cursed on an exhale,_

_“I’m going to make you sing for me Vegeta.” Frieza crooned as he lapped at the remains of the blood before inspecting the deep bite wound he had inflicted, all the while still sliding his thumb in and out in a painfully slow motion,_

_“Are you ready my prince, this might hurt a little?” The feigned concern struck him like another punch to the spine,_

_Vegeta felt the snake like tail of Frieza slink up his destroyed leg as he pulled his thumb from him, the sharp nail cutting him ever so slightly, sweat now lathered his naked body as he quaked and drops of the salty substance fell to the floor mixing with his blood. Frieza’s hand then resumed its previous grip on Vegeta’s right ass cheek and forced it to the side making way for the slinking white appendage, as it drew ever closer to its goal._

_He felt it tease his opening and with the little strength that remained he braced himself against the wall._

_‘Gods please no, just kill me, I don’t want to endure this again! All my life I’ve been made to suffer his abuses…can I never be free? Where my crimes so heinous that I deserve…this? I should have known I would never be strong enough to defeat him, I should have just ended my own miserable life…long ago while I was still a child…that would have been weakness wouldn’t it? Why would it have mattered…’ He started crying, ‘Tarble…brother…I hate you for being weak! If I was weak I would have escaped this! But perhaps then you…No! I endure so you can live…but I just want to die…I want to be free…Gods Let Me Die!’_

_The utter shame and humiliation he felt at that exact moment was crippling, here he was a quivering bloody mess in front of Frieza his most hated enemy and the sick bastard was only drinking in every moment like it was a rare treat. He just wished he would die, he would rather spend an eternity in the miserable confines of hell than endure this, what was he without his pride? And now Frieza had stripped that away from him as easy as he had his clothes. His face contorted in a series of twitching spasms as he ground his teeth harder than he thought he could, colored flashes danced before his tightly closed eyes the anticipation of pain was starting to drive him to the point of insanity._

_He felt like begging, he was so distressed by the entire ordeal already that he was almost willing to throw what, if anything that remained of his tattered pride away, but he mentally cursed himself for his weakness._

_No._

_He was going to bear this shame and then he was going to survive and live with it as it followed him for the rest of his days. A constant reminder that he wasn’t a prince and that he was in fact simply someone’s plaything, a tool to be used by those stronger than him, an insect to be stepped on. Frieza’s hand grabbed him under the knee of his right leg and pushed it upward until he was spread apart painfully, and then it was held securely in place._

_“Scream Monkey, I want to hear your suffering!”_

_And he did._

_He let out a cry louder than needed to wake the dead as an impossible length thrust itself inside of him, flesh tore and his insides burned with intense pain. The force behind the thrust was enough to push him up the wall leaving a blood trail behind as he went, his foot completely off the ground now as he hung from the unrelenting force at his throat and knee. His golden locks instantly reverted to jet-black and his body mass decreased making him tighten around Frieza’s tail. Blood and saliva flew from his mouth, his eyes wide in pure mortification. Frieza hadn’t moved since the first thrust but Vegeta’s dignity was destroyed and nothing could keep him from continuing his cacophony of cries unless Frieza himself silenced him._

_“Now Vegeta…what was it I said I was going to do to you if you failed at defeating me?” Frieza asked, the sickening twist of glee in his voice was revolting, “That’s right, I said I was going to fuck you bloody.”_

_All Vegeta could do to respond was offer pained, labored, breaths as his eyes rolled back dazedly in his head._

_“Don’t think you can avoid this so easily Vegeta, you’re going to be awake for the entirety of it, after all you’ve only just begun to sing for me.” Frieza tsked, he cocked his lips in a smirk as he heard a choked and barely coherent ‘fuck you’ from Vegeta,_

_Inch by painful inch Frieza pulled his tail from Vegeta until only the tip was still inserted. Vegeta could feel large amounts of his slick blood dribble from his ass and down his thigh as his body trembled like a leaf from the action. He felt his internal muscles clench and scream at the savage assault they had just sustained. Flesh was torn and raw, he had been stretched well beyond his limit, and his mind gave way to muscle memory as he drifted into the past remembering encounters much like this only Frieza was never in his final bulky form._

*******

_“Forgive me My Lord, I swear I’ll make sure Nappa never does it again! Please, I’m sorry!” The boyish form of Vegeta begged, pinned against the floor with one of Frieza’s feet,_

_“I’ve heard that too many times before Vegeta…no, I’m afraid there’s only one way to make sure you understand the severity of his crimes.” Frieza dismissed, as he slapped his armored tail against the floor,_

_“No! Please I’m begging you, anything but that! Please!”_

_“Shut your mouth you worthless monkey! The only thing I want to hear from you are your screams!”_

_Small hands attempted to pry the foot off his back but it was useless the force was too great for him, “Anything but this! Punish me any other way, please I’m begging you!”_

_The plea went unheard as the nimble appendage tore away the bottom half of his clothes, “If I have to deal with your subordinate’s lack of control one more time Vegeta you will wish you were dead after what I do to you…if you don’t already that is.”_

_Tears streamed down his face and his cries could be heard across the ship as Frieza’s tail brutally forced itself inside his small form, the pain was too familiar, and his fingers scrambled against the floor in a futile attempt at escape._

_“If you want to hate anyone Vegeta, hate yourself, you only have yourself to blame for the suffering you’re going through right now, poor behavior is a result of bad leadership, and you will learn to control him!”_

_“Stop…enough! I’m sorry..Argh! Please!” He chocked through pained cries,_

_“You’re a pathetic excuse for a living breathing organism, no wonder your father was quick to get rid of you!” Frieza convicted,_

_“Don’t you dare..Nnnng-Guh..mention my father..you bastard!”_

_Frieza rested his weight on Vegeta’s back as he lifted his other foot to kick him in the face before setting it back down, “Watch how you speak to me worm!”_

_“Argh! Please! Stop!” He begged painfully,_

*******

_Ripped from his thoughts searing pain tore into him again, and as before for miles around all that could be heard was Vegeta’s bloodcurdling scream of utter agony as Frieza once again shoved his tail into Vegeta’s destroyed opening. Only this time the assault didn’t end there, now it was forced in and out in a destructively swift rhythm as his insides were shredded repeatedly. With each thrust inwards more of Frieza’s tail was forced in until Vegeta swore he could feel himself being torn in two. The amount of pain he was enduring was incomprehensible and blood dripped freely from his gaping mouth gurgling his cries._

_Every thrust pushed him up and down against the wall the red smudge of his blood painting it._

_With a twisted turn of fate was he going to pass out from blood loss, would the empty blackness consume him and save him from this horror._

_No such luck._

_Hot tears streamed down his cheeks, and with one exceptionally hard thrust, he was retching again. The intense pain made him sicker than he’d been in a long while as he heaved wearily. The pain that held his focus a while ago was nonexistent now compared to the violation he was subjected to._

_How long was this going to continue?_

_He wished he knew._

_He was now suspended over a pool of his own blood that continued to flow effortlessly down his thigh dripping to the floor. The sounds he could barely hear over his own screams were disturbing to say the least, the squelching of his body fluids caused by Frieza’s relentless attack. If the violation itself wasn’t bad enough Frieza made sure he swiveled his tail around inside before drawing all the way out to repeat the action countless times._

*******

_He was lying in a pool of his own blood when Frieza was done with him, he lay relatively motionless despite the twitching of his hand and legs in incomprehensible pain, as he rode out the aftermath of his punishment._

_“Don’t worry Vegeta you’re not going to die, I care too much to let you die, I’ll have you delivered to a healing tank immediately.” He walked back over to his controls and pushed a button, “Zarbon get in here immediately.” When he was done he didn’t turn around again, and instead stood silently to listen to Vegeta’s painful gasps,_

_“My Lord.” Zarbon greeted before noticing Vegeta’s form on the floor,_

_“Take Vegeta to a healing tank, he seems to have met with an unfortunate accident.”_

_“Of course My Lord.” Zarbon then grabbed him by the cape and lifted him off the floor, “It seems you made a real mess of him today…unfortunate.” He had a disappointed tone to his voice,_

_“Zarbon…straight to the healing tank.” Frieza’s voice was warning, “And get someone to clean this mess up.”_

_“At once.” Zarbon bowed and then left the room carrying the bloody form of Vegeta,_

*******

_He broke himself from his thoughts once again and screamed inwardly with broken words, ‘Ka-k-ka-rot!’_

_What was he doing? Why was he calling to the one man that made him feel weak and useless just as Frieza did? Did he really exhaust all that remained of his pride? Of course he had. What pride was there to retain when he was being so brutally violated by his enemy._

_‘What’s the point…I’m alone and no one is coming to save me…but…’ What did he have left to lose,_

_“Kaka..Nnngh-guh…Kakarot! P-please…hnnn..Help me!” He managed as he screamed the plea for all he was worth,_

_“How pathetic Vegeta, you’d call a low class Saiyan to come help you…how low have you fallen?” Frieza mocked,_

_“Guuh…he defeated you..hnnn..once, and he can do it again.” Vegeta responded,_

_“Don’t you remember where you are Vegeta…he’ll never find you here, it’s just you and me…for as long as I decide to play with you, bitch.”_

_“If there’s one thing…I know about Kakarot…Nnngh…it’s that he always finds a way.” Hopeful desperation was evident in his voice,_

_“Do you really want him to see you like this Vegeta…look at the mess you’ve become…bloody, helpless, your legs spread wide to accommodate me…and above all…you’re hard.” Frieza nearly whispered the last half of his sentence in his ear as he leaned in closer, “No wonder your father willingly handed you over to me when I asked it of him, he was clearly disappointed in what you were becoming.”_

_Vegeta’s mouth closed in a growling sneer from both pain and Frieza’s warm breath upon his ear, he was screwing with his head again, the nerve of that bastard. But the fact that his father had so willingly handed him over to Frieza was always something that haunted him, why? There was a time when they would stand side by side in conquest of a planet, had he not been good enough? Had he not done everything he could to impress him and make him proud? Perhaps that question would dog him forever, because even though he felt as if his father had betrayed him he still bent to Frieza’s will when the tyrant threatened his life._

_He was barely even able to focus on his thoughts but he was pulled from them completely when Frieza spoke again._

_“Perhaps you’ll come again after all, I’m surprised you’ve managed to look past the pain…you really are a dirty bitch aren’t you?” Frieza crooned,_

_“I don’t care if he sees me…what’s one more humiliation…Argh!...if I get to see him kill you…!” Vegeta cried,_

_Frieza seemed to put more enthusiasm into his thrusting ignoring Vegeta as he leaned in to lap at the blood seeping from his mouth both sucking and licking the metallic tasting substance from his face. Once he was done he moved on to the base of his neck and started licking and nibbling the area. Vegeta wanted to throw up again even if it didn’t do any good, but feeling the tyrant’s tongue on his skin was nauseating, he was sure he was trying to hasten the process of him coming again, but he didn’t want to, once was enough._

_He opened his eyes and stared blankly at what was within his field of vision, even though it swayed dizzyingly with the rocking motion his body was forced into._

_But that was when he saw something, a figure, an orange clad figure with golden hair._

_“Kakarot!” He screamed, his voice hitching louder than he had intended as a thrust racked his body with pain,_

_Frieza stopped at the end of his thrust and withdrew from Vegeta’s neck to look towards Goku, ignoring his agonizing moans for a moment, “Well if it isn’t the other worthless monkey.” He mocked,_


	4. Save Me Kakarot!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Goku has finally showed up to aid Vegeta, will he however be his savior? And is there more to this than meets the eye?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (PLEASE READ)
> 
> This chapter is brought to you by procrastination at University, lol
> 
> Well anyway this chapter is finally done, I think it was 3k words but now it's at 7.3k so there was a lot of editing involved (big enough to make up for how long you had to wait) I would always think of something else that I could add to make it better so it kept growing.  
> I don't think there is anything more I could add now, so we finally have an update, keep in mind though that it may be edited if I find mistakes that need to be changed(try reading 7k words over and over and your bound to miss a mistake...)
> 
> Without spoiling the chapter, keep in mind that this is a dream therefore things are distorted from the real world and might not make sense, but that's what dreams are about the distortion of reality, so for instance what would definitely kill you in the real world wouldn't in a dream.  
> However some of you will probably have questions so don't hesitate to ask, I will answer as best I can without spoilers =}
> 
> (Dream sequence is in Italic all Italic text not in the dream are thoughts)  
> ( 'This means that someone is thinking inside the dream')
> 
> Now on to the warnings for this chapter.
> 
> (!!!Warning!!!)
> 
> Rape/Non-Con Ahead!  
> More Mental/Psychological Anguish!  
> Definite Trigger Warning! (New just in case I suppose)  
> Language!
> 
> Having said that, Enjoy!

**~**

Goku’s eyes shot open.

He was sure he heard Vegeta. He had no idea if it was a cause for concern but he heard him nonetheless. He rose into a sitting position and looked pointlessly at the curtains of his bed in the direction that the sound had come from. With all that was going on lately he reasoned that it couldn’t hurt to investigate and make sure his friend was alright. He was quite willing to live with the verbal abuse afterwards if it meant everything was alright.

He heard it again only this time it was an unmistakable shriek of pain coming from the other bed; it caused him to freeze for a moment as the sound of distress pulled at a heart string.

Overcoming his momentary immobility he sprang into action, “Vegeta!” Still in his Super Saiyan form he jumped out of bed nearly getting tangled in the curtains of his own before he swung those to Vegeta’s aside,

Goku looked down and was surprised when he saw that Vegeta was sleeping, almost curled into the fetal position with a painful expression on his face, “Vegeta?”

Goku leaned in and observed his sleeping form, regardless of whether it was just a simple dream or not he hated to see Vegeta like this so he took him by the shoulders before he shook the prince to rouse him but it did nothing.

Goku jumped back in surprise nearly falling over as the Saiyan’s body suddenly became taut in bed, suffice it to say he had no idea what was going on but he didn’t like it and he was somewhat scared. He watched as Vegeta’s fist’ wrapped themselves in the bedding. His head swung back against the pillow as his back arched slightly, his face set into a snarl of rage. Finding that Vegeta was practically still again Goku attempted to rouse him once more, this time shaking vigorously although it seemed that Vegeta was glued to his position on the bed becoming immovable. What the hell was happening to him?

Goku had only just woken but the drowsiness he would normally face when moving around so soon after waking was nonexistent, his mind set into a serious panic.

“Vegeta, wake up!” Still nothing, “Vegeta, what’s happening to you!? I don’t know what to do to help you, tell me what to do!” Goku begged without even stopping the vigorous shaking of his prince, he was confused and scared and didn’t know what to do,

“Nnngh..Go..Fuck Yourself!” Vegeta shouted,

Startled at first Goku instantly retracted his hands, and joy painted his face for but a moment as he thought Vegeta had finally awoken and was cursing him for the assault but then Goku noticed that he was still asleep. He then noticed the growing mass in Vegeta’s pants, he was developing a painfully obvious hard-on, and his eyes switched from Vegeta’s face to his crotch several times in frantic observation. This wasn’t normal, with an expression such as the one Vegeta had how was he becoming aroused from whatever was going on with him? Of course Goku didn’t know much about his lifestyle and preferences but this was all wrong, he wouldn’t curse the cause with such vigor if he wanted it.

What was he watching anyway?

His face contorted in embarrassed concern.

Shaking the feeling of unease that had frozen him in place he leaned back again and ignoring his curiosity he continued shaking his fellow Saiyan again more violently in an attempt to rouse him, “Vegeta, wake up, Please!”

Nothing.

He continued shaking until Vegeta’s power spiked and he ascended to Super Saiyan making him jump back again to observe what was going on.

Vegeta’s power never spiked to his super saiyan level unless he was fighting, and since he had ascended to super saiyan two, the warning bells were now blaring in Goku’s ears.  Was he trapped? Stuck in his dreams? He didn’t know, all he knew was that Vegeta wasn’t waking up and being scared was now an understatement, but if he was stuck in his dreams what did that mean? What was happening to him in them? Was he being tortured? Couldn’t be, torture didn’t leave you hard, but then he gave it some thought because at this point his mind was running wild in panic. But every conclusion his terror filled mind could come up with was worse than the last. He didn’t want to think about Vegeta like this, he couldn’t, it felt wrong, so he snapped himself from his thoughts and grabbed Vegeta again roughly.

“Vegeta, what the hell is wrong with you, wake up!” Fear welled within him along with panicked concern, “I don’t know what’s happening to you but I swear I will save you no matter what, I won’t let you suffer like this!”

Pausing for a moment he was surprised by the words that had come from his own lips, he had never said anything like this in regards to Vegeta before, so why now? Was his head really that fogged with confusion and concern that he would say such uncharacteristic things? Did it matter, he meant every word of it, seeing Vegeta suffer in this way was painful, they were friends and no good friend would want to see the other suffer in such a way. Especially when there was nothing that could be done to ease it.

The contortion of Vegeta’s face in pain and suffering was causing Goku to start freaking out to a new level, this had never happened before and he had no idea what he was supposed to do to help him, trying to wake him clearly wasn’t working. Another scream of pain pierced the silence of the chamber, and finally against his better judgment Goku resorted to slapping Vegeta to wake him, but still it did nothing even though he had used force.

“Damn it Vegeta why do you have to be so stubborn even when you’re asleep!?” Goku cursed his luck,

“Bastard!” Vegeta ground out through his teeth,

More cursing, as if he was speaking to a hated enemy, Goku’s heart was pained to say the least.

Realizing there was nothing he could do for him he stepped back and watched as Vegeta’s head thrashed about relentlessly from side to side as he struggled against an unknown force trying to break free, Goku watched as his hands curled tighter around the sheets he held. Then apprehension painted Vegeta’s face in a gasp, his breathing was erratic at best and he was sweating profusely, saliva covered his chin and had dribbled down his neck to stain the sheets.

Goku was startled to the point where he fell over backwards when Vegeta let out the loudest scream he had ever heard from the man in his life, not even in battle had he made this much noise. His head was thrown back and his body arched off the bed completely as his grip on the sheets remained, his hair instantly switched back to black and the cries of pain now seemed to be endless, until they were silenced slightly by haggard moaning breaths. They then picked up again at full force and this time didn’t end. Goku rose to his feet and gripped his head with both hands after running them frantically through his hair trying to think of something, anything that could help. He raked his brain endlessly, frantically trying to figure out what to do but he didn’t have any answers, of course all along he knew he could enter his mind telepathically but he knew what Vegeta was like and he didn’t want to do that, there had to be another way, any other way than that.

Goku couldn’t even begin to imagine the pain he knew Vegeta had to be experiencing at this point, and he thought he felt his heart stop, he felt physically sick as he continued to hear the cacophony of desperate pained screams. He hadn’t realized that he had resumed shaking Vegeta with such enthusiasm to wake him until he heard it, and for a second he was sure he felt his heart crack inside his chest as he froze and looked down into Vegeta’s face with saddened fear his mouth gaping open.

“Ka-k-ka-rot!” The desperation in the fear driven cry broke Goku’s heart,

“Vegeta…”

He knew he had no choice now, if Vegeta was calling out to him it was because he had no other choice because he needed him, more than he needed his pride and for Vegeta that was saying more than Goku wanted to hear.

“You need me don’t you Vegeta…I don’t want to go through your thoughts like this, invade your privacy without even asking first…but now that I know you need me I can’t just stand here and do nothing, I have no choice.” His face was solemn and his eyes were half lidded for a moment as the sounds around him seemed to blur as he spoke aloud to himself,

Then as the situation before him made itself known once again he tensed up fearfully before placing a hand on Vegeta’s head and took a seat on the edge of the bed. He had no idea what he was in for and it scared him, he had no idea what went on in his friends mind but he knew he didn’t want to find out…not like this, finally he entered his mind.

“Forgive me…”

_Goku looked around at his surroundings, large chains covered the walls and there seemed to be no escape, the feeling of entrapment and fear was extraordinary and for a moment Goku felt as if he should simply give up, that nothing he did would matter. He realized what was happening and quickly shook the feelings that threatened to cage him, the atmosphere of the dream was painful, and perhaps an insight to the true feelings Vegeta was contending with._

_Every time a chain would disappear another would quickly take its place, he was fighting but he was losing. Goku started observing his surroundings closer to try and find out where they were but as he did so a large chain shot up from the floor between his feet and he barely had time to dodge it as several more protruded from the flooring as well. Goku could see that Vegeta had lost this fight long ago and now he was being tangled in defeat._

_This was bad._

_Looking past the cobweb of chains that had appeared he could see he was on a ship, he knew this, and it looked familiar, after a moment passed he soon identified it to be Frieza’s ship, Goku let out a pained gasp merely thinking about what was taking place in Vegeta’s mind. He heard moaning and cries of agony coming from another room, and they were all Vegeta’s. He quickly made his way out of the room and into the hallway following the sounds he heard, the chains continued as well like vines throughout the ship. He was moving at a swift pace dodging dangerously close chains as he went so that he could save Vegeta from whatever fate his own mind had trapped him in._

_“Kaka..Nnngh-guh…Kakarot! P-please…hnnn..Help me!” The screamed plea echoed through the ship as clear as day,_

_Goku froze; he had called out to him again._

_Vegeta had begged him to save him, what was happening to him to reduce him to this state?_

_To beg…_

_The only other time Vegeta begged in a similar manner was when he begged him to kill Frieza. And it sounded like he was crying, was he? Had the mighty Prince of all Saiyans been reduced to a crying child? This was definitely bad, if Vegeta was begging and crying he really must be in desperate need of help. He assumed there was no longer a need to guess who was behind the abuses Vegeta was being subjected to, it was Frieza there was no doubt in his mind about this. He wanted to shake his fear but it was hard to, he didn’t want to see what was happening to Vegeta he wanted to save him as quickly as possible but the scene that would play before his eyes once he found him left him scared._

_‘Why am I hesitating…he needs me…he wants me to save him, but…Vegeta, I don’t want to see you like that, I don’t think I would be able to control myself if I see what he’s done to you.’  He was broken from his thoughts when he heard Frieza,_

_“How pathetic Vegeta, you’d call a low class Saiyan to come help you…how low have you fallen?” He heard the mocking voice of Vegeta’s captor,_

_“Guuh…he defeated you..hnnn..once, and he can do it again.” Vegeta responded,_

_Goku didn’t know how to feel, ‘He’s had this faith in me all along? Even now he expects me to just fly in and save him as if it was natural for me…how had I never seen this in him? In desperation he resigns himself to allow me to help him, how much trust and faith does he have in me that he knows if he calls me I’ll come to his rescue? Vegeta…’_

_Goku felt as if he was intruding upon the deepest hidden emotions of his prince, he felt guilty but he didn’t come here to eavesdrop he came here to save him, hearing the true feelings of the man were just an unexpected occurrence._

_“Don’t you remember where you are Vegeta…he’ll never find you here, it’s just you and me…for as long as I decide to play with you, bitch.” That line evoked a new emotion to form on Goku’s darkened face,_

_Rage._

_An instinct to fight and protect had kicked in, not just to protect the defenseless and innocent but also as it had on many occasions when his enemy would threaten his son’s life, his burning desire to protect Vegeta and destroy Frieza for good this time threatened to cloud his senses and consume him. He had almost lost himself to the feeling of anger until he heard Vegeta speak again._

_“If there’s one thing…I know about Kakarot…Nnngh…it’s that he always finds a way.” Hopeful desperation was evident in his voice,_

_The faith Vegeta had in him pained his heart to no end, of course he always assumed and hoped that Vegeta felt like he could trust him and rely on him but to hear it from his own lips was a completely different story. It was almost as if he was proud that he could say he knew Goku would come to save the day whenever it was asked of him. Goku then realized that in Vegeta’s mind he actually held him to high regard, and that his mind believed that he could defeat and overcome any obstacle and would always come through in the end._

_That even though he treated Goku like he was a worthless excuse for a Saiyan, Vegeta trusted and depended on him more than he could have assumed._

_But what was he doing? Standing here listening to a conversation he shouldn’t even be hearing, when he should be saving his dear friend._

_“Do you really want him to see you like this Vegeta…look at the mess you’ve become…bloody, helpless, your legs spread wide to accommodate me…and above all…you’re hard.”_

_Goku’s heart shattered in that moment and his eyes widened beyond physically possible._

_‘Gods…Vegeta…not Vegeta…is this why you…No!’ He didn’t want to believe what he had heard,_

_So this was his secret, the reason for Vegeta’s standoffish attitude, the reason he never allowed himself to feel, to never let anyone close to him, the reason he was barely noticeably jumpy whenever they sparred together alone, the man was scared and Goku cursed himself for never noticing._

_“No wonder your father willingly handed you over to me when I asked it of him, he was clearly disappointed in what you were becoming.”_

_‘What…’_

_This too was a revelation, he never knew anything of Vegeta’s past, and the man had never wanted to speak of it…ever._

_“Perhaps you’ll come again after all, I’m surprised you’ve managed to look past the pain…you really are a dirty bitch aren’t you?”_

_Goku audibly growled and ground his teeth into a snarl as he heard Frieza’s sickening voice again, his emotions of rage and hate had almost completely consumed him once again._

_“I don’t care if he sees me…what’s one more humiliation…Argh!...if I get to see him kill you…!” Vegeta cried,_

_That was the moment that released Goku from his immobility, it was almost as if Vegeta had given him permission to see him in his most vulnerable and humiliated form to save him from the ordeal._

_Goku’s head swung up in anger, unshed tears making his eyes shine in the strange light of the ship, ‘I’m coming Vegeta!’_

_He then rushed into the room the sounds were coming from, after the door had opened barely even audibly and he froze once again at the doorway as his heart lurched forward; he felt his stomach sink as he looked on in horror at the sight before him. His anger and hate disappeared in an instant and left him with his mouth gaping open in shock, nothing had prepared him for this._

_‘Vegeta...’_

_The first thing he noticed was the blood, the endless amounts of blood on the wall and on the floor, but more importantly the persistently dripping blood that was trickling down Vegeta’s leg. He saw that Frieza had him pinned against the wall with his left hand around his neck and his right hand holding his leg disturbingly spread apart, while his tail that was dangerously too big for anyone let alone Vegeta and his smaller form, was fucking him ruthlessly. Goku wanted to be sick, he could feel the bile rising in the back of his throat but he wanted to remain strong so he could rescue Vegeta._

_This explained why there seemed to be no end to the blood dripping from his leg to the floor._

_The sight before him left his mind reeling, was this why Vegeta hated Frieza so much? Did this happen often while he was in the tyrants employ? Now he felt sick to his stomach for not seeing to Frieza’s death and instead letting him live so that he could escape Namek, had he known that this was what Vegeta meant, he would not have been so merciful. Seeing Vegeta in such a quivering mess of agonized cries pained him to no end. He also watched as Frieza licked and sucked at the blood that covered his skin before he continued to the base of his neck licking and nibbling, performing actions meant only for explicit lovers and it sickened him. Vegeta’s face alone had broken Goku in more ways than he cared to admit._

_It was time to intervene._

_Goku watched as Vegeta’s eyes opened and looked his way, the hope that now filled his almost lifeless tear-filled eyes caused Goku’s brow to furrow further in a frown of determination, “Kakarot!” He screamed through a hard thrust,_

_He took several steps forward before stopping when Frieza set his sights on him, “Well if it isn’t the other worthless monkey.” Frieza mocked, “Well it seems you got what you wanted Vegeta, so let me ask you do you still not care that he’s seeing you like this?” He asked, as he pushed in further instead of drawing out making Vegeta scream brokenly his voice hitching unnaturally as he felt a heightened level of pain that his insides could barely comprehend,_

_“Argh! God’s Stop!” He begged, his voice broken and altered from his crying,_

_“That’s Enough Frieza! Stop It! Leave Him Alone!” Goku ordered, rage was explicitly present in his voice,_

_“He belongs to me and I’ll do whatever I want with him, you have no right to order me around!” Frieza retorted, as he still continued to push in deeper proving a point,_

_Vegeta tried to scream but blood had clogged his throat making his voice that much more anguishing to Goku’s ears as he convulsed in a fit struggling to breath._

_“Stop you’re killing him!” Goku yelled,_

_“So what if I do he’s just a useless plaything.” Frieza said uncaringly, “I think I’ve broken him this time though, inside him feels…” He didn’t finish his sentence as he swiveled his tail around inside Vegeta to inflict further damage,_

_The blood in his throat finally cleared and he choked it out before his deafening scream echoed throughout the room as his eyes grew wider in sheer pain._

_“I’m done watching this!” Goku growled, as he started charging a blast,_

_“Make one more move monkey and you’ll see my tail protrude from his mouth!” Frieza threatened,_

_Goku instantly stopped fearfully, he had no idea what would happen if Vegeta died in his sleep, and with the knowledge of him not being woken from his attempts he was scared._

_He needed a plan._

_Vegeta feebly stretched out his hand to Goku, in a pleading manner, silently begging him to save him, Goku tried to appear collected but inside he was fraying, he entered Vegeta’s mind to save him not to watch the savage assault…and unintentionally add to it._

_Frieza once again began licking Vegeta’s neck and ear while Goku watched helplessly growing more restless by the second, and it reached its peak when he saw Vegeta’s face twist in unmistakable fear, what was happening now?_

_“You’re about to come aren’t you Vegeta?” Frieza asked cruelly,_

_“Sh-Shut Up!” He yelled in reply,_

_Goku winced barely audibly feeling sorry for Vegeta._

_“Don’t hold back Vegeta, Kakarot is watching don’t you want to show him how much you enjoy our little moments together?”_

_Vegeta looked back to Goku with an expression of utter distress as fresh tears made their way down his face, this was beyond begging now and Goku watched as Vegeta observed him wildly looking for anything, any way of knowing he would be saved. But there was also that unmistakable fear on the Saiyans face as well, and now Goku wasn’t sure if Vegeta was asking him to save him or leave him._

_“Come on Vegeta don’t disappoint me now as well.”_

_Goku watched as Vegeta closed his eyes tightly, and he knew what was about to happen so he turned his head, he owed Vegeta at least that much for not being able to save him in time._

_“There Vegeta I knew you could do it, if there’s one redeeming feature about you it’s that you follow orders like a good dog.”_

_Goku turned back to face Frieza and noticed that Vegeta still wasn’t looking at him as his body spasmed; he couldn’t fault him though, not even a little considering he had just piled humiliation onto what he already had to be feeling. Just then however an idea finally hit him but he didn’t like it. Everything he was about to do was riding on Vegeta thinking he could defeat Frieza, and though he hoped to the gods that Vegeta did, he didn’t know for sure, so he had to find out._

_“I’m not going to stand by forever Frieza I will defeat you and save Vegeta.” Goku warned, rage was still ever present in his voice,_

_“I know very well monkey that you won’t make a move against me as long as I threaten to kill Vegeta.” He cocked a sick smile,_

_‘How does he know that!? Of course…Vegeta knows my nature so that means so does Frieza…Forgive me Vegeta…for what I’m about to say.’_

_“You just said he was broken, and you don’t strike me as the kind of person to play with broken toys, so how would you like to play with a brand new one?” Goku asked,_

_“What do you mean?”_

_“I’ll willingly take Vegeta’s place if you let him go.” Goku answered,_

_He saw Vegeta finally open his eyes to look at him with fresh tears still free-falling, and Goku was sure he could see him die a little more inside, “Ka…karot.”_

_“Shut up Vegeta!” Frieza swiftly jerked his knee upward and it silenced Vegeta painfully, “Can’t you see me and Kakarot are having a conversation, let the grown-ups talk for a while.”_

_“I assure you Frieza I have a lot more spirit in me than Vegeta ever could hope to possess.” Goku felt guilty for what he was saying but he needed to grab the tyrant’s attention,_

_Frieza seemed to be thoroughly enjoying the thought of having another Saiyan to fuck with, “That’s an interesting offer, plus a chance to have my revenge for what you did to me on Namek is too good an opportunity to pass up…very well then I accept.”_

_“Good, now hand him over to me and I’ll submit.”_

_“Ka-ka-rot…don’t…I’m not…worth it.” Vegeta protested, “You don’t…know what…he’s like.”_

_Frieza struck him with his knee again, “What did I say Vegeta?”_

_“Don’t talk, save your strength, I’ll handle this.” Goku said kindly, flinching slightly as he watched Frieza hurt him yet again,_

_“Touching.” Frieza chimed in,_

_“Let him go Frieza we had a deal.” Goku reminded as he removed the top half of his Gi and held it loosely in his hand the only thing remaining was his weighted training clothes,_

_Frieza’s face became smug, “You want this broken thing back?” There was a pause and Goku simply maintained his gaze, “Fine take him, he’s fallen from grace one too many times for my liking now anyway, perhaps you will indeed provide me with better entertainment.”_

_Frieza relinquished his hold on Vegeta’s neck and leg using his tail alone to hold him in the air, Vegeta screamed as the appendage slid further still into him, spearing him at a rapid pace. Frieza then flicked his tail swiftly and launched him towards Goku, who caught Vegeta as gently as possible and knelt down to cradle him in a way that didn’t hurt him further. Vegeta coughed a mixture of blood and saliva onto Goku’s chest, as blood swiftly stained his Gi pants since Frieza’s tail was the only thing holding it in. Vegeta looked up at Goku studying him for a moment before he was nearly consumed in a sobbing fit._

_“I’m sorry it took me so long to get to you Vegeta, I hope you can forgive me later.” Goku said warmheartedly, as he used his Gi top to cover Vegeta’s nakedness,_

_Despair panged at his heart as he watched it swiftly stain with blood, the sensation on his legs was also saddening as the sticky substance stained through his pants to his bare skin underneath._

_Vegeta wanted to reply but he started choking on tears and the blood in his throat, “Just rest Vegeta, I’ll take care of Frieza and then I’ll get you out of here…although I do need to ask you something, you don’t have to speak just nod or shake your head.”_

_Vegeta spat out more blood then looked to Goku waiting, regaining some composure, “Do you believe I can defeat Frieza, I need you to be honest?”_

_He watched as Vegeta studied his face, “I…I know…you can defeat him…you’re stronger than…he is.” Vegeta managed, and Goku gave him a small smile,_

_“Thanks Vegeta.”_

_Goku used his free hand to brush the tears from Vegeta’s face even though fresh ones would replace them, “Kill him…this time…please…you have to, I’m begging you…don’t let him…Nnngh…hurt me again.” The pain and desperation in Vegeta’s voice and face was extraordinary,_

_“I swear to you my friend, I won’t let him get away with this, I will kill him.” Goku assured as rage and aggression toned the end of his sentence,_

_“Good…go get him.”_

_Goku wiped the blood from Vegeta’s chin as he cradled him in his arms, smearing it more than anything; and he couldn’t help but feel his heart break further when a small weak smile pulled at Vegeta’s lips._

_‘After…everything I just saw…he’s still happy I’m here to save him and kill Frieza…I’m so sorry Vegeta…’ Goku was on the verge of breaking down,_

_“Come now Kakarot I’m eager to exact my revenge on you…but keep in mind though once I’m done with you I’m going to finish off Vegeta.” Frieza sneered, as he walked closer licking his tail clean of Vegeta’s blood,_

_Rage snapped Goku from his thoughts, “That’s far enough Frieza, you’ve tortured Vegeta for the last time, and now I’m going to correct the mistake I made on Namek by letting you live.” He threatened,_

_“Please hold on Vegeta I’ll make this quick.” He whispered to Vegeta as he laid him gently on the floor before rising to his full height to finish off Frieza, now shielding him from his enemy like a guardian angel,_

_“We had a deal remember.” Frieza reminded as he licked the remaining blood from his tail,_

_“I said I would take his place, and I have, but don’t think I’ll give in without making you work for it first…anyway isn’t that half the fun?” Goku asked,_

_“We can agree on that monkey, but nothing else!” Frieza yelled, before rushing Goku only to be knocked back with a solid punch to his jaw,_

_Goku was surprised to find the blow so affective, ‘Perhaps this might just work after all.’_

_His frown grew stronger as he noticed the chains on the walls were disappearing, that was a good sign because it meant that Vegeta believed he was going to win._

_“I told you I was going to make you pay for what you did to Vegeta…he may have killed countless people and committed other heinous crimes, but from what I can figure out now he had no other choice, because of you…nobody deserves this, and I will make you pay.” Goku said blankly,_

_“Oh…and you’re going to protect him are you?” Frieza asked,_

_He wiped blood from his face and righted himself as he looked on at Goku his Gi and blue underclothes stained with Vegeta’s blood, it made him look as if he had already been through an intense battle._

_“Yes, what you don’t know, and I don’t think Vegeta himself knows, is in his mind he controls what happens in this place, even though he allowed himself to be beaten and tortured by you just now..he told me the one thing I needed to know…” Goku replied,_

_“What the hell are you talking about?” Frieza demanded,_

_“Vegeta believes I can beat you once and for all, and because of that, I will destroy you.”_

_“I knew your kind was stupid but now you’ve proven it, there’s no way you can beat me in this form, you may have defeated me before but not this time.” Frieza dismissed,_

_“Well then…cocky as usual, guess there’s only one way I can prove this then…allow me to show you.” Goku sneered as he posed ready for an attack, “If you think you’re so strong deflect my attack.” He challenged, and seeing the smile on Frieza’s lips he knew it was accepted,_

_“Ka…me…ha…me…HA!”_

_He loosed the signature Kamehameha at Frieza, and due to his ego he posed to deflect it, but soon found he was no match for it, and it destroyed him in a flash of bright light._

_The chains on the walls then suddenly shattered like broken glass._

_Goku himself was surprised that all it took was a Kamehameha to defeat Frieza and one that wasn’t even at full power either, but it didn’t really matter Vegeta had been honest, Vegeta did indeed believe that he could defeat Frieza. Goku looked out into the white nothingness exposed by his attack before he quickly returned to Vegeta’s side._

_“Vegeta, are you still with me?” He asked, the fear he held for his fellow Saiyan’s life had returned,_

_Vegeta twitched and stifled a groan which was indication enough that he was still conscious, “It’s alright now, Frieza’s gone, I took care of him this time, and I couldn’t have done that without your help, thank you.” Vegeta tried to push himself upward, but with his lack of energy he made a futile attempt and groaned miserable, “Don’t try to move, I’ll get you out of here.”_

_Goku held him under his arms and knees and lifted him off the floor gently because he could feel that most of the bones in his body were broken, “Th-thank..you…Kakarot.” Vegeta looked up into Goku’s face with tired newly tear-filled eyes, “I knew you’d come.” He breathed,_

_Continuing down the hallway to leave the ship Goku looked down at Vegeta, “No, I’m sorry I didn’t get here sooner, it’s my fault he did this to you, I hesitated when I should have just come to your aid.”_

_Vegeta coughed half-heartedly, “I-id-idiot.” He finally managed, “You saved me…that’s all that…matters.”_

_Goku smiled down at Vegeta before his eyes closed._

_Walking off the ship into white nothingness, he carried Vegeta back to the waking world._

Once Goku ended the link to Vegeta he removed his hand and waited for the prince to wake up, he wasn’t sure what reaction he should expect so he tried to prepare himself for anything. It wasn’t long before Vegeta awoke violently with a cry, pulling the sheets up with him that were still in his vice-like grip as he sat up board straight in bed, he looked to Kakarot and then instantly averted his attention to what held his wrists. He released the sheets and rose a hand to his mouth, finding the area wet he drew his hand back expecting blood, but he didn’t find it, only his own saliva. Kakarot offered him a small cloth which Vegeta took and wiped his face with as he scanned his surroundings intently. He slowly came to the realization that he had been dreaming, or more accurately he had been having a nightmare.

He shifted to more of a comfortable sitting position in bed and stared down at the sheets as if searching them for answers, he knew that there was something strange about the expression Kakarot had which made his mind race a mile a minute. The things that Kakarot had said while in his nightmare were inconsistent with what his mind would have concocted and it frightened him, but what other conclusion could he come to…

 _“In his mind he controls what happens in this place.”_ That line played over in Vegeta’s head, _“You were in my head weren’t you Kakarot…”_

Moments passed and still none of them spoke, until finally Vegeta broke the silence.

“That was actually…you, wasn’t it Kakarot?” Vegeta asked in a voice just above a whisper, he held his gaze at the sheets feeling unworthy,

Goku didn’t want to answer, but he knew Vegeta just wanted to confirm what he already knew, “Vegeta...”

“How and why?” Vegeta’s tone of voice didn’t change,

“Huh?”

“How did you get into my head, and why did you?”

“I don’t really know when I picked up that trick the first time I used it was on Krillin when I arrived on Namek but this was far different to what I did now, and as for why…you called out to me Vegeta, you were-“

“Shut up.” Vegeta cut him off mid-sentence,

“Vegeta?”

“Just shut up you idiot.”

There was a pause between the two.

“I’m sorry Vegeta.”

“Spare me your pity Kakarot, I don’t need it.”

Vegeta sensed he was about to ask another question but he spoke first, “Don’t even ask Kakarot.”

“Vegeta I care about you and I hope you know that or else I wouldn’t have entered your mind to save you without consent, you don’t know how hard I tried to wake you with other methods…it was the only choice I had left. I’m also not going to make you talk about what you don’t want to, just know however if you ever want to…I’ll listen because we’re friends.” Goku said,

“Friends?” Vegeta huffed on a chuckled breath, “You’re just like Frieza.” What he said was unintentional and he instantly regretted the words,

Goku was hunched over Vegeta in an instant forcing him back against the bed, wild fear flashed in his eyes, “Don’t you ever say that again Vegeta, how dare you…I would never do anything like what he did to you…and I would have given myself up to save you by the way if my plan didn’t work…because I didn’t want to see you suffer anymore.” Goku’s face was twisted with anger and hurt, “You have no idea what I was about to do for you.”

Vegeta wanted to escape, every fiber of his being demanded that he flee, but he was frozen stiff the dream still too fresh in his mind, and most of what Goku said had been a blurred rush of nonsensical words as his mind was consumed by panic.

Goku retracted and rose once again to his full height not realizing the state he had put Vegeta in as he was still stiff and unable to move, Goku then turned to leave.

“Kakarot.” His voice was soft but nervous,

“What is it Vegeta?” The level anger that laced his words was uncharacteristic for him,

Vegeta flinched at the tone of his voice but persisted, “That’s not what I…let me explain what I meant.” Goku turned around and stood in front of Vegeta again who had resumed his sitting position staring into the sheets,

“Then explain.” Goku still held a great deal of anger in his voice which also sounded demanding,

“I…I need…a shower first.” Vegeta’s face was covered in shame, he had tried to hide it since he woke but Goku had noticed already,

He was still hard.

Goku softened completely at seeing the suffering that Vegeta was still being forced through, his pride had taken enough of a beating already, and since he didn’t want to cause any unnecessary grief, he relaxed his shoulders in compliance. He really wanted to let Vegeta know that it wasn’t his fault, but he knew that wouldn’t make it any better so he didn’t. The mere knowledge of the situation that Goku held was shameful enough to Vegeta.

“Of course Vegeta.”

He rose from the bed and walked past Kakarot stopping behind him, “Don’t…” He tried to retain his rapidly decaying composure, “Go to far.” He then continued into the wash room,

_“Did Vegeta just ask me to stay close to him…to protect him?”_

Goku gasped as he then realized that when Vegeta was doubled over the sink, it must have been the same scenario as his dream, although because he wasn’t asleep in that moment it puzzled him, but with recent events it seemed the most reasonable explanation. He knew it must have taken a lot for Vegeta to say that, so he knew how shaken he had to be from the whole ordeal, if what Vegeta was feeling could even be described with words.

Complying with what the prince wanted at this point was the only way he could think of helping him.

So he stayed close by.

Vegeta closed the door behind him as he entered, composure disappeared as he was now alone, hot tears burned his eyes as they left glistening trails down his cheeks, he ground his teeth together and cursed life itself.

 _“How dare Kakarot be a witness to that! Why…gods why…my lowest point in life and my darkest secrets discovered by that..that third-class! Was it not enough that I should be made to bear the shame for the rest of my existence, but now I have to live with him knowing about it!?”_ His fists clenched in anger and shame, _“Is it not enough that his very existence be an ever present reminder to my own pathetic weakness? Is it not enough that he brushes me to the side like a common house fly with every ascension of power?”_ His fists uncurled,

_“Should I now be subjected to the shame of knowing another has witnessed my humiliation? …My pride, and my honor stripped away in agonizing and fluent motions…I have no pride or honor left, Kakarot saw to that when he stood there and watched as…”_

He felt his stomach lurch as he recalled seeing Kakarot standing there watching the shameful display, his moaning and panting, along with the other bodily noises made him feel sick. How could he have been so weak to allow his body to betray him in such a way? He felt a lump grow in his throat and this time there was no way he was going to be able to hold it back, he quickly leant over the sink and heaved furiously, his stomach mimicking the desire inside him to purge the memory from his mind.

_“Fuck..it..all.”_

Goku closed his eyes as he heard Vegeta vomiting, why did he have to hear it, he felt bad enough for the Saiyan already why did the fire need more fuel. He wasn’t sure what was worse in comparison now, having seen Frieza rape Vegeta or having to witness the aftermath of the violation. Seeing the clouding despair in the usually bright eyes filled with pride was gut wrenching. He couldn’t get the images of Vegeta’s broken form cradled in his arms out of his mind, there was so much blood, far too much blood, how was he still conscious after an assault like that? How much unimaginable pain had he endured at the hands of that monster? How alone did he feel as he suffered knowing no one was coming to his rescue? And when had all this started, how…old was he?  Goku’s heart ached, how could this be fair?

_“Vegeta.”_

His already weakened state wasn’t getting any better as he washed his face with cool water, cleaning the remaining vomit away. He physically checked his surroundings to make sure he was alone before he stripped naked and stepped into the shower, the warm water was a welcome feeling to his convulsing muscles. He looked down at his hands and wandered if he would ever remove the filth that invisibly marred his body, he felt so unclean and unworthy, as he shrunk to the bottom of the shower holding his knees in a crouching pose. He held himself there letting the water run over him, his hair draped in front of his face as the water ran through it, for the time being he enjoyed how small and insignificant he felt, wishing he could just fade away so no one would notice him.

 _“Did Kakarot notice? Is that why he didn’t protest to my request for a shower? What does he think of me now? Does he think a part of me enjoyed it? Do I now disgust him, is that it? Do I disgust you now Kakarot?”_ He sighed heavily, his mind was weighed down with so many things, and none of them were good,

He rose to his full height after some time had passed flinging his hair back as he did so, letting the water hit him directly in the face for a while.

Finally turning the water off he stepped out and grabbed a towel to dry his hair and body, the soft fabric was like a massage against his skin. His hair was damp but he didn’t care as he rummaged around in the crate Bulma had insisted on moving in here some time ago since they were all using the time chamber frequently, sometimes she had some good ideas. During his rummaging he saw that there were casual human clothes in there as well, pulling out a comfortable looking dark gray shirt he tossed it on the bench to his right as he pulled out a pair of training pants, gloves, and boots as well before closing the lid. Returning the towel to the railing, he swiftly dressed.

Now was the time to face the music.

Kakarot was waiting.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Teaser art for Chapter 4 (not counting the fourth chapter because it wasn't a chapter) is up on my deviantart account and a small snippet of conversation is included for those who want to utterly teaser themselves :P Enjoy it!


	5. Hear My Confession...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will Vegeta explain the reason for what he said or will he cower away? Will Goku be able to show him he has nothing to be afraid of? Or is Vegeta to far gone in his ways to be able to change?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sup guys I know I've been absent forever but this chapter was really annoying me, it still is, and I don't like it...at all, there's a specific scene in here that drives me nuts but I couldn't replace it with anything that seemed just as good so I was stuck with it -_-  
> You might be able to tell which one it is cause it seems so out of place, or maybe not, hopefully the latter.  
> The title for this chapter is mostly for drama and I love the song, I wrote part of this chapter while listening to it so yeah...(Josh Groban-My Confession) If anyone is wandering >_>  
> Also fair warning even though you guys might have noticed this already, but the time chamber living area is a lot larger in my story, you'll kinda see what I mean by that later on.
> 
> Now on to the warnings for this chapter.
> 
> (!!!Warning!!!)
> 
> Rape/Non-Con Ahead!  
> Still More Mental/Psychological Anguish!  
> More Trigger Warnings!  
> And Yet More Language!
> 
> Having said that, Enjoy!  
> ^_^

**~**

He walked out of the wash room and saw that Kakarot was sitting at the table running his finger around the rim of the mug in front of him. Apprehension was raising its ugly head as Vegeta felt a knot begin to grow in his stomach and his heart began to pound erratically, there was no way this was going to be easy. He was left in a bewildered, broken state from earlier and he was sure his body language was projecting it vividly, he cursed himself inwardly, he was quite literally in the lowest state of his life, and now he had to contend with someone seeing it and knowing why he was this way. He wanted to find a corner to hide in, curl himself up into the smallest form he could muster to hide from everyone and everything, but where would he hide in a place like this?

There was nowhere to hide.

Thoughts of turning and leaving the time chamber and Kakarot behind entered his mind, but what was the point it would only raise suspicion…and when he thought about it he would much rather have Kakarot see him weak and pathetic rather than anyone else he knew. Because the naive Saiyan had already witnessed the worst his life had to offer…and yet…he felt almost relieved. Why was that?

 _“Why do I feel this way? Why do I feel as if the greatest weight I’ve ever known has been lifted from my shoulders? There’s no way I wanted him to find out…ever…especially not like this…but I can’t deny that I feel relieved.”_ He pondered, _“If anyone has to know…at least it’s him, the way he makes me feel is strange…but I don’t hate it…do I? I can talk to him in a way I could never with Bulma…and I want to know why.”_ He observed Goku with saddened, heavy eyes,

He hadn’t noticed until he got closer but a steaming mug was waiting for him on the opposite side of the table. He didn’t know what he was going to do with it however as he wasn’t sure he wanted to drink it, because with the way he was feeling at this point he knew his stomach would probably reject anything he consumed. He made his way over to the table and sat down uneasily, wrapping his hand around himself unconsciously which Goku quickly noticed. The smell from the steaming beverage that was invading his nostrils painfully reminded him his stomach was now empty and that he was hungry. His gaze was averted and his head was lowered, the amount of shame he was feeling was exponential but finally he lifted his head to look at Kakarot. He had tried to control the expression on his face but it was near impossible, it was riddled with telltale emotion and he hated it, as if he needed one more shred of evidence that exposed the state he was in.

 _“Strange…I can tell he’s been crying and with the way he’s holding himself I know he’s suffering but…he’s not wearing his armor; I thought he would for the sense of protection so why isn’t he?”_ Goku was puzzled with Vegeta’s choice in attire,

Noticing that all they were doing was staring at each other Vegeta couldn’t take it anymore, and there was his opening. He noticed Goku examine the clothes he wore, and this was the perfect opportunity to attempt to rebuild his wall of pride.

“What?” Vegeta asked as smugly as he could given the current circumstances also turning his head away,

Goku broke his fixated gaze, “Nothing, just didn’t think you would dress casually while you were in here, but since we’re not training right now, I can’t argue with your thinking.” Goku said dismissively, not wanting to bring up anything unnecessary,

“Well one of us has to use our heads and it definitely isn’t you Kakarot.” Vegeta finally looked back, noticing a tinge of annoyance on the other Saiyans face,

Goku didn’t want to be forceful about the situation but he wasn’t going to dance around it forever, “I’m still annoyed with you Vegeta you have some explaining to do, so let’s skip the jibes.” He was suddenly serious,

Vegeta knew that wouldn’t last long but he didn’t think he would be shut down that quickly. Kakarot’s tone of voice was unnerving but he was right, there was no use prolonging the inevitable, even though he didn’t want to be the one to start the awkward conversation.

Thankfully Kakarot saved him from that fate.

“So tell me Vegeta, why am I just like that sick bastard?” There was venom mixed in his voice and in addition his choice of words were definitely unusual and uncharacteristic, his attitude had seemingly changed on a dime,

Pride reared its head, or at least the desire to preserve what was left of it did. He didn’t want to talk about this, it was disturbing to say the least, and he wasn’t soft or weak, so why should he act like he was even if his body betrayed his true emotions thoroughly.

“I see no reason why I should explain myself to you Kakarot, as your prince you shou...”

“Cut the crap Vegeta…you owe me an explanation, and I’m going to get it whether you like it or not.” Goku nearly snapped,

Fear slivered over Vegeta’s face again at the sudden outburst, _“How could his attitude have changed this quickly…is he trying to scare me? Well I won’t give him the chance.”_

“You insolent..”

“That’s enough!” Goku slammed his open palm against the table as he rose from his chair making his Super Saiyan form suddenly look threatening,

If there was ever a time Vegeta was going to be truly afraid of him this was it, and he couldn’t deny that at that particular moment in time he was certainly terrified.

“Put your pride aside for five seconds and be a man! I saw what happened to you Vegeta, and if you think you can say I’m anything like Frieza without explaining how-”

“Shut the fuck up Kakarot!” Vegeta’s face was set in a snarl of anger and shame; fear suddenly forgotten as he stared down,

The aggression startled Goku for a moment at the sudden outburst, “Just shut up…” His voice softened for but a moment as he trembled, holding himself tighter than before, “You tell me to be a man!? How do expect me to be what I’m not!?” He swung his head up and deadlocked Goku in his stare his voice returned to its fierce but quivering nature,

He watched as Vegeta glared at him unwaveringly, his face twitching abashedly, and his eyes starting to glisten, “Vegeta…” Regret pained Goku’s heart as he realized he had kicked him while he was down,

_“Fuck you Kakarot…how dare you…”_

“We wouldn’t even be having this conversation if it wasn’t for you!” Vegeta’s hand flew towards Goku as it pointed at him accusingly, jostling the table as he did so,

Goku could hear his voice beginning to break.

“When Frieza killed me on Namek I had finally gotten what I wanted…freedom…but then I found myself drawing breath again and escaping a grave that you had put me in!” Vegeta rose to his feet glowering and pointing with intense and raw emotion, “And in some sick twist of fate I was dragged back to my fucking miserable existence, my escape robbed from me…by you…” His voice was on the edge of breaking,

“I’m not a prince, I’m not even a man, I’m nothing but a dog lords bitch…his bitch…to be fucked and discarded whenever he wanted, pride was all I had left, and he stripped that from me every time. And now you’ve taken it away from me too, leaving me with nothing but shame…why did you have to bear witness to my humiliation…even if it was just a dream that was what I had to endure on a regular basis…why didn’t you just leave me to suffer alone, I could have lived with that, as I always have.” Goku could now clearly see the tears that pooled in his eyes,

Vegeta’s body loosened and he slumped slightly, his arm falling back by his side, “You want to know why in my eyes you’re like Frieza…then fine, what else do I have to lose? I’ve already been reduced to nothing.” A single tear fell to the floor,

He was broken.

 _“Gods…have I just completely broken him?!”_ Goku was afraid of what he’d done, _“Vegeta No!”_

It happened so fast Vegeta barely had time to comprehend it; the golden aura surrounding Kakarot was gone and he was in his base form again. One arm was gripping his shoulder while the other was under his arm pressing on his back and being used to hold him close, his cheek was pressed against the taller Saiyan’s shoulder, and a gasp of surprise escaped. He was forced to the tips of his toes just to match Kakarot’s height.

“Forgive me Vegeta…”

“Ka-Kakarot.”

“I didn’t mean to put you through this, I had no idea, there was no way I could of known because if I did things would have been different then…and I’m sorry for what I said now as well…I just wanted to understand, and you hurt me when you said what you did…saying I was like him.”

“Kakarot let me go!” Vegeta squirmed within his grasp,

“No.” Goku breathed, as he held onto Vegeta tightly but gently,

“Kakarot! I’m serious! Let me go now!” His voice was filled with panic,

“Vegeta it’s alright, calm down.” Goku comforted,

Fright and flight instincts demanded that he get free and escape but the Saiyans grip was relentless, he pounded his chest and shoulders mercilessly to escape, one punch even caught Goku’s chin. But he didn’t relent.

“I said let me…go…” His voice gave way and softened as he stopped struggling and wrapped his arms around Goku, drawing the loose fabric of his Gi into his fists,

“There…it’s okay.” Goku’s hand moved from Vegeta’s shoulder to the back of his head,

He pressed his forehead against Goku’s orange clad chest, “Why are you doing this Kakarot…do you delight in seeing my weakness?” His voice was completely broken,

“It’s not your weakness…it’s your humanity.” Goku dismissed,

_“I won’t…not like this…I won’t breakdown…even though he makes me feel like I could…”_

“You’re safe Vegeta, I promise.” Goku assured as he stroked the Saiyans jet black hair for but a moment,

 _“That’s…that’s the feeling I get when I’m around him…safety…”_ He wasn’t sure if he liked the prospect of what that meant or not,

Vegeta’s embrace tightened, “How have I become so helpless…to need to hear that from you…”

Goku wanted to reply but he didn’t, what would he even say? The tone of defeat that resonated from Vegeta’s voice was disheartening, the floodgates were finally open and he was left raw and unguarded.

A moment that felt like an eternity passed, as they stood silently holding each other.

“Vegeta…I know this is hard for you, you’ve never had anyone get through to you like this…but I won’t hurt you, I promise.” He set him back down firmly on his feet but still held his shoulders, “I just want to help you…if you’ll let me.”

Vegeta turned his head away as his hands dropped to his sides and looked down not wanting to let Kakarot see him like this, but he soon felt a gentle hand at his chin which pulled his head back and he saw soft black eyes peering down at him. He stiffened as he felt Kakarot use his thumb to wipe away the tears that had slid down his cheeks before he rested them on his shoulders again, Kakarot had done the same thing in the dream.

His heart beat against his chest.

_“Why are you doing this Kakarot…?”_

“If you can forgive me Vegeta…I want to start over again, I know you don’t want to talk, but it will only ever be between you and me…I know it can’t be easy to bottle it all up inside…so please let me help you.” The compassion now in the taller Saiyans voice was almost scary,

Vegeta slumped his shoulders and nodded, he was consumed by the feeling of distance, and indifference, as if this was the only option he had.

He pulled away from Goku and turned his back, “This…isn’t going to be easy for me to explain…or for you to understand.” He began, his voice still hadn’t returned to the strong nature it usually was,

“I have plenty of time Vegeta, as long as it takes for you to say what you need to.” Goku assured, as they both re-seated themselves, “It’s all up to you however so are you sure you want to do this?”

_“What is this…a choice? My choice…I see.”_

Doing his best to compose himself he began, “You’ve almost seen the…worst of my past, so there isn’t much more to tell, but I want to tell you…because you’re right I can’t keep running from it, it’s destroying me…you’ve seen the state my mind is in.”

_“I need to tell you.”_

“Then whenever you’re ready.”

Another long moment passed.

“It’s because you’re stronger than me.” Vegeta muttered, as he folded his arms across his chest out of habit,

“Huh?” Goku leant over slightly barely catching what Vegeta had said,

“Do you think I haven’t noticed you’ve been holding back when we fight, the only time you used your full power was when I forced you too.” Vegeta said, his voice was plain and distant as he watched his companion across the table,

“Yeah but…I’m not trying to kill you, and besides you’ve been holding back too.” He defended,

“That’s…beside the point Kakarot, you admitted to holding back when I specifically told you not to.” Vegeta accused, with more enthusiasm than a few moments ago,

“Yes I do admit it. It is a part of the training we’re doing, you can’t grow new muscle power if you’re constantly destroying what you have already, the only way to grow stronger is to balance training with rest. Of course your training in the gravity room makes you stronger but that’s because you push yourself almost to the point of death. Surely even you have noticed that you’ve grown stronger in a shorter amount of time compared to using the machine.” Vegeta didn’t even grunt a response, “But what does my being stronger than you have to do with Frieza?” He still wasn’t sure he understood completely but he had his suspicions,

Vegeta gave it some thought for a moment before he dropped his head slightly, “Why should I bother you wouldn’t understand.” He sounded weary and defeated,

“That’s not fair, you haven’t even tried.” Goku whined,

“Yeah well if you didn’t present yourself as an idiot all the time I might have more faith in your level of understanding…besides I’m not sure how you’d take it.”

 _“I’m not sure what you would think of me…I don’t even know what you think of me now…does the knowledge of my past disgust you? Do I…?”_ That was what he wanted to ask but he couldn’t,

“Why does what I might think bother you?” Goku asked curiously,

Vegeta slumped his shoulders, “Because…we’re close Kakarot…even if you act like an unintelligent child.”

Goku chuckled slightly, brushing off his insult, “Well in that case it shouldn’t bother you.”

Vegeta sighed audibly, “Can’t you just let it go this once Kakarot…?”

“Not right now no, I want to know why my power level bothers you…well besides my being a low-class while you’re a prince.” Goku said facetiously,

“Don’t start Kakarot.” He warned imperviously, and Goku smiled teasingly in return,

_“I can see he’s serious but…he’s trying to ease the atmosphere between us with inappropriate humor…honestly Kakarot.”_

Vegeta finally gave in, “Well if you must know…it’s because…I-I’m…afraid of you.” He turned his head away after he had finished,

Goku’s playful nature was gone, “What…how are you afraid of me, you trust me, and I know you do or else you wouldn’t have called me of all people to help you…” Goku trailed off not wanting to put the incident into words,

Vegeta was silent and Goku could only assume that he was irrationally afraid of him because if he wanted to he could do exactly what Frieza had done.

But still.

“Vegeta why…why would you think that?” Goku was hurt,

Vegeta still remained silent, “You don’t think I’d ever…” Goku slumped over slightly, feeling depressed but also shocked that Vegeta would think he’d ever force himself on him,

Vegeta turned back around to face him, “Are you really surprised to find that I would think that Kakarot?”

“Well yeah, I’ve never done anything to make you think I would.”

Vegeta scratched his head trying to put his thoughts into words, “ _I_ don’t believe you would ever do something like this Kakarot…and as you said, you know how I feel about you now…despite doing my best to hide it _but_ …I can’t convince myself that you wouldn’t.” He began; he realized how stupid that sounded even to him,

“Vegeta that doesn’t even make any sense, you say you believe I wouldn’t do it but then you say you can’t convince yourself that I wouldn’t…” Goku was utterly confused,

“I told you it wasn’t going to be easy Kakarot, I’ve never had to…explain _this_ before.” He did however realize he needed to explain himself better because his point still wasn’t being put across, “As you know when you asked me if I believed you could kill Frieza, I said I knew you could and that you were stronger than he was and it’s true…I used to believe I needed to be stronger than you, be stronger than anyone so that I would be safe, no longer being able to become someone’s puppet but…after the time we’ve spent together, I know you can protect me, I…need you to be stronger than me…”

Goku’s lips twisted in a faint smile, “I’m glad to hear you say that Vegeta…but if that’s true why does a part of you still believe I would twist that?” Vegeta confirmed what he had discovered in his dream,

“It’s complicated.”

“How?” Goku’s head was starting to hurt,

“It…brings up things I would much rather forget.”

“I understand that Vegeta…but I need to know so that I can do my best to make you feel like you don’t need to be afraid of me, it’s the last thing I want you to feel about me…” Goku reasoned,

“You don’t know what you’re asking Kakarot, you’re messing with things you don’t understand.”

“But you’re the one who said you wanted to talk about this.” Goku reminded, making Vegeta stiffen,

_“His persistence will be the death of me one day…”_

“Fine I’ll put this so that you can understand.” Vegeta realized there was only one way to properly explain this and he let out a nervous breath, “While you enjoyed your cushy life on earth I was being trained to kill, I was taught that with power came control, control of the weak that aren’t as powerful as you, and in the pecking order I was the controlled. While you made friends with the bald one…Krillin, I was getting to know Zarbon, that prick was a real piece of work…you have no idea what I went through because of him…so forgive me Kakarot if my life’s lessons were far different to yours.” Vegeta explained vacillatingly, and he noticed the almost mortified expression on the other Saiyans face,

“You mean…that…you…he-”

Vegeta cut off his stuttering, “Spit it out Kakarot.” His voice slightly hitching in annoyance,

“Frieza…wasn’t the only one?”

Vegeta seemed amused by his innocence, “Don’t tell me this surprises you too…your innocence does you little credit, there were a lot of people stronger than me in my youth and still well into my adulthood, hell Zarbon kicked my ass on Namek before I killed him...” Vegeta replied, He gave himself time to study the Saiyan, “Now do you understand what I meant when I said I would rather forget?”

Goku nodded, “I’m sorry I pushed you.”

Vegeta grunted in dismissal, “Do you want to hear more?” He asked hesitantly unsure if either he or Goku could hold up if he continued,

He had no idea why he wanted to continue he was having trouble as it was, but still a sense of freedom flooded him the more he spoke.

“How long did this go on?” Goku asked,

 _“Well Kakarot if we’re going to talk about this you might as well hear it from the beginning.”_ Vegeta realized there was no turning back now,

He drew a deep breath before continuing, “This went on for years; I was seven when my father gave me to Frieza…my own father that I aspired to become when I was older handed me over to him, like a piece of furniture…he…just gave me away like I never mattered and started this whole fucking cycle. I just can’t believe I would still bend to Frieza’s will when he threatened his life, and in the end what was it all for.” Vegeta was evidently saddened by this,

“So Frieza was right…your father just gave you away?” Goku asked,

“Yes…I’ve never been able to put that aside, he would always tell me how proud he was of me, teach me of the Saiyan ways, and tell me stories of the legendary super saiyan saying that I would grow to become one…how could all of that change so quickly as if it never happened.” Vegeta’s hands came to rest on the table curled around his mug,

_“For his whole life he’s only known abandonment…is it too late for me to change how he feels?”_

“Was my father the same?” Goku asked, diverting from the topic slightly,

“Bardock never even held you…not once before you were sent to earth, but that’s only what I heard from passing rumors, so take from it what you will.”

“I’m sorry Vegeta…I never knew my father but you did and I can’t imagine how that feels.” With the empathy in his voice Vegeta didn’t even care that what he said pricked a nerve,

_“No you can’t…”_

“When…” Goku wasn’t sure he wanted to ask,

“You want to know when it first started?” Vegeta asked,

Goku nodded.

_“Better brace yourself Kakarot; I might not explain this in great detail but still…”_

Vegeta took a sip from his mug his mouth suddenly becoming dry, giving himself a moment to make sure it didn’t repeat on him he then spoke, “After my father left me on Frieza’s ship I spent the next three years training killing Saibamen and other various opponents it was the only thing to do when Frieza didn’t have a job for me, Nappa was such a kiss ass back then too…but after a while when I trained I noticed it was no longer Nappa who would bring me my clothes once I was done, it was Zarbon. They took turns of course and I didn’t think anything of it, it was a nice change because even though I hated Zarbon he didn’t try and kiss up to me at all. He would always mention a special training I would be undertaking though and that intrigued me, finding a new opponent to fight that wasn’t a Saibamen was almost music to my ears at that point.

Finally after I had finished my training a few days later he said I could start my _new_ training, and I was actually happy for the first time in a while although I was curious as to what Nappa could possibly be doing because he never said anything to me when he would come back. Zarbon brought me to a room that seemed more like a cell than anything else, I didn’t even know Frieza’s ship had those, but to be fair I never really took the time to look around. He opened the door to the room and quickly pushed me inside before locking the door behind us saying that there was a creature in here that no one had defeated, but at that point I could barely see a thing it was so dark. He said that Frieza instructed him to go along with me because he didn’t want me to die so I didn’t really think much of the situation.” He began,

“You never once considered that this was a trick?” Goku asked,

“Why would I…he was a total prick to me but I never thought he would do something that Frieza didn’t order, he was a faithful lapdog if nothing else, and I was overconfident in myself as well, you should know that much with how I acted during our first fight.” Vegeta replied,

_“In that case I can see why you never suspected a thing…”_

“But anyway…I soon heard growling after examining the room and I relished the challenge that would follow, I was taken off guard however when I was struck to the ground and then held there…he leant in close enough to my face so that I could see the monster was actually him…he had changed into…something. He told me what he was going to do and why…I knew I was helpless there was no way I could fight him, I couldn’t even move let alone hope to defeat one of the most powerful people I knew. At that point of my life it was the most painful thing I had ever experienced…and it seemed to go on forever.” He explained,

“Vegeta…”

“I’m fine.” He dismissed, _“This was the last thing I wanted to remember…I don’t want to see this…”_ He shook his head slightly,

“I did however see satisfaction for what Zarbon did, Frieza didn’t know about what he had planned, and I heard him yelling at Zarbon before I later saw him in a healing tank in bad shape.”

“So that was the last time?” Goku asked,

“No…apparently he didn’t care what Frieza thought, or Frieza didn’t care what he did to me he was just annoyed that Zarbon beat him to it.” Vegeta replied,

_“What kind of sick chain of command is this…”_

“What makes you say that how did Frieza find out?” Goku asked,

He watched as Vegeta’s hands took on a dangerous grip around the cup, a little more force and the cup would shatter, “I was instructed to take Nappa and Raditz with me to a planet that I can’t remember the name of, and we were to kill everyone there, but according to Frieza we didn’t do it fast enough and because I was their prince I was the cause for the failure. I expected a beating because that wasn’t uncommon by now thanks to Nappa, his attitude was so hard to control even when he was scared of me.”

“Yeah he didn’t strike me as the kind of guy that used his head much in battle.” Goku agreed,

Vegeta saw an opening for a joke but ignored it.

“It started off as a beating which didn’t faze me anymore, but I guess he could see that, so he decided that he was going to teach me to control him in a different way, only when he had me pinned down he noticed that I…had…scars…and he demanded that I tell him how it happened, so I did, I told him what Zarbon did and how it happened, he was furious to say the least, and that was the first time I ever truly saw his fury. He didn’t continue after finding this out and he instead told me to take myself to a healing tank, since he didn’t beat me as bad as he usually did, and after that that’s when I found out what happened to Zarbon.”

“So that stopped him?”

“Yeah but it did nothing the next time…he kept telling me it was my fault that Zarbon forced himself on me, because I was weak and useless…and that was why he could do it to me as well because I was powerless to stop him and he knew it…only I have to say even though I was almost killed every time with Frieza, Zarbon was always worse.”

“You don’t have to tell me why.” Goku said quickly, waving his hands in a halting gesture,

“I wasn’t going to.”

“He’s wrong though Vegeta.”

“About what?” He asked curiously,

“It wasn’t your fault…it wasn’t and never will be your fault.” Goku assured,

_“I don’t know if that matters to me at all but…thank you anyway.”_

Vegeta looked up at Goku for a moment before continuing, “What I can’t understand about Frieza is that he hates us…calls us worthless saiyan monkeys every chance he gets and yet…I would never have expected him to…do this, he even gave me special privileges on his ship, none of what he did made sense, or was that the point? Was he trying to fuck with my head…like he’s doing now even after he’s death.”

“You mean the dream?”

“Not exactly.”

“You…see him?” Goku asked curiously,

“Yes, and I don’t know why, it’s haunted me ever since I saw him on earth, he was supposed to be dead and yet there he was.” Vegeta replied,

“It’s been going on for that long?” Goku was shocked,

“Longer actually I just never started hallucinating this bad until then.” Vegeta corrected,

“Why did you never say anything?” Goku was saddened,

“What was I supposed to say, ‘hey Kakarot I’m being haunted by hallucinations of Frieza can you help out with that’ you know better than to expect me to ever say something like that.” Vegeta dismissed, “And we weren’t exactly friends back then.”

“Yeah but…” He sighed, “Does Bulma know about this? Since you’ve been hallucinating in her company as well I’ll assume.”

“No but I think she suspects something…she’s told me that I’ve had nightmares that she couldn’t wake me from and that I’ve nearly hurt her, but she’s never told me if I’ve said anything, whether to protect me or not I don’t know…it won’t be long until she knows though, my dreams and hallucinations have only been getting progressively worse, but I think you know that.”

Goku nodded, “You ever going to tell her?”

“Of course not! She never needs to find out about this, can you imagine how she would feel, what she would do, she can never find out and I’ll make sure of that.”

Goku paused for a moment, “When you wake up from one of these nightmares…does it feel real?”

“Yes, I can’t differentiate what’s reality and what’s the dream after that, and most of the time I’m in too much pain to move, Bulma gets in her little jibes every time that happens though but…it’s better that she think I overexerted myself with training than know what really happened.” Vegeta’s voice was distant, “The only reason it wasn’t like that when I woke up earlier is because you…saved me.”

Goku smiled slightly before quickly moving on, “When we spar together, is it me that scares you or do you see someone else?”

“No it’s you, but I’ve already told you why.”

“Wait so does that mean when we first entered the time chamber and you accused me of saying something I never said that was actually you hallucinating?” Goku asked finally understanding,

“I never thought about it until now, but since you brought it up, yes I obviously imagined it…it felt so real though…”

“What did I say?”

“I don’t really remember, let me think…oh yes, ‘You know Vegeta even if you follow my training you’ll never be stronger than me, I’ll make you bend your knee to my strength sooner or later’ I believe that was it.” Vegeta answered,

“Wow, your mind really hates me huh; I’d never say anything like that.”

“It seems to think so…but anyway do you have any other questions since we’re getting this out into the open?” Vegeta asked inquisitively,

Goku’s face took on a darkened hue, he had one question left, “Just one…you said there were many people stronger than you as you were growing up…how many?”

“Are you asking how many people fucked me?” The bluntness of Vegeta’s question was disheartening,

Goku didn’t answer.

“Do you even really want to know Kakarot?” Vegeta seemed to show concern for how this knowledge would bother him,

“Do you even remember?” Goku asked in return,

“What! What kind of a question is that, of course I do! I remember every one of their fucking faces, if you asked me to remember how many times I…can’t.” He broke off,

Goku’s face grew darker still, “Are they all dead?”

Vegeta was somewhat amused that Goku wanted to know if they were dead, “They were killed on Namek, and of course later on earth…but…I never killed Ginyu.” Vegeta answered blankly,

“The Ginyu force too?”

“Yes…do you regret telling me to leave Ginyu alone now when I was about to crush him under my boot?” Vegeta asked,

Goku didn’t know how to answer the question so he dismissed it, “Even that creepy frog guy that Krillin told me about?” Goku looked as if he was going green,

Vegeta forced a laugh, “Trust me Guldo never had a chance he was one of the people _I_ stepped on but…” His voice became dark and void of emotion, “The rest of them however went as a group…I didn’t really know which way was up or down when they were through… they were good enough to drop me in a healing tank when they were done though…so that’s something I guess.”

“Vegeta…” Goku was beginning to feel physically sick from hearing his past,

“You saw how obsessed they were with striking the right poses on the battlefield…well they were the same when it came to sex; I always dislocated multiple joints whenever they paid me a visit.” He had started talking like he had stopped caring, “Not to mention Ginyu and Burter had the most disturbing dicks I’ve ever seen in my life, even compared to Zarbon’s transformation.” He put his hand to his mouth after saying that trying to suppress the foul taste that threatened,

_*Flashback*_

_“Suck it bitch!” Ginyu ordered, but Vegeta defiantly turned his head and grunted painful,_

_“Seems like he wants to be defiant as usual.” Recoome crowed, as he held Vegeta’s hips and roughly thrust into him,_

_“I think he’s disgusted with how I look, but he knows what’s going to happen if he throws up this time…don’t you Vegeta?” Ginyu sneered,_

_“Ease up captain me and Burter are still waiting…save that for later.” Jeice Protested in the background,_

_“Only if this fucking bitch opens him damned mouth.” Ginyu said as he punched Vegeta hard in the stomach but still his teeth remained ground together, h_ _e repeated the action until Vegeta windedly gasped for breath, grabbing his hair Ginyu forced his mouth over his member._

_Vegeta could feel the bile rising in his throat as he choked from the sudden intrusion and lack of air._

_“You better pray you hold it down Vegeta or you’ll wish you were dead.” He warned, before he started thrusting mercilessly,_

_The thought alone was enough to make Vegeta want to vomit, but the taste was what really got to him, he had no idea why Ginyu’s skin left such a bad taste in his mouth but it was indescribably disgusting, and try as he might he couldn’t hold it back._

_Ginyu realized what was about to happen and pulled out before Vegeta heaved for all he was worth, and then choked and gasped for air, “What did I tell you Vegeta?” He asked with forced disappointment,_

_“I…I’m…sorry, please…not again.” He begged, still struggling for breathe,_

_“Captain.” Jeice whined,_

_“Enough! One day he’s going to learn to take what he’s given, and I don’t’ care how many turns you miss before that day.” Ginyu snapped,_

_“No! Please!”_

_*Flashback*_

“Vegeta what’s wrong?” Goku asked concernedly,

He finally broke himself from his thoughts. And now he wasn’t sure that if he made an attempt to answer he would actually throw up again regardless of whether his stomach was empty, because it definitely felt like he was about to.

“Vegeta?” Goku’s face continued to twist in concern, noticing the sick hue his friend was becoming,

He rose a hand to silence Kakarot as he gave himself a moment before removing his hand from his mouth and shaking his head slightly, “You don’t want to hear any more?” He asked hoarsely,

“No I don’t want to hear any more…”

“Good because I don’t think I can manage anymore.” He still looked considerably ill,

“Are you alright?’ He asked kindly,

“I will be…”

“I’m sorry you were forced to live like this Vegeta.”

“Don’t you dare pity me Kakarot…this is my burden, my curse to endure not yours, and it never will be.” He didn’t put much effort into his words,

“It’s not pity…” Goku defended, _“It doesn’t have to be yours alone…why haven’t you realized that you are no longer alone.”_

He soon adopted a woebegone expression, “So you think I’m going to be like everyone else and hurt you too, even though we’re friends and you put your trust in me?”

“That’s exactly why I think you would; you’re the only exception I’ve made to pushing everyone else away or keeping them at arm’s length, perhaps because you’re a Saiyan, or perhaps because for some strange reason you seem to be able to stick your nose in all of my affairs.” He answered,

“I spared your life when you wanted to kill me on Earth, even after you threatened to come back and destroy us all, doesn’t that count for anything?” Goku asked reasonably,

“That only served to prove you even had control over my very life.” Vegeta answered,

 _“Even my kindness is mistaken for control, will I ever get you to see I mean you no harm or ill will?”_ Goku mused, “Have I done anything at all that hasn’t given you cause for concern?”

“Listen Kakarot, it’s not that you haven’t tried because you have it’s just…my past keeps me from moving on and whether you and I like it or not that’s the way it is, I’ve tried so many times to change but…”

“I get it Vegeta, it’s hard to change after so long but you also don’t want to change so that you won’t be hurt again.” Blunt and to the point,

Vegeta sighed.

“You don’t have to talk in circles when it’s just me Vegeta.” There was a small pause, “So that time in the washroom?”

“What about it?” A tinge of annoyance laced his voice,

“Frieza?”

Vegeta nodded, “I hadn’t slept in a while, and that added to the hallucinating…or I actually am going crazy.”

“Why weren’t you sleeping Vegeta?”

“Why do you think…it’s just you and me alone in here.”

Goku looked at him sadly; his irrational fears were dogging him everywhere he turned.

Vegeta saw the look Goku had and he felt sorry for the man because he knew Goku would never understand how he lived, sighing he then spoke, “Look…like I said before I trust you _obviously_ but because you’re stronger than me I’m always going to live in fear that you could use that to…hurt me. I don’t want to think like this, hell you’re my only real friend that understands me, and when I’m not irrationally scared shitless of you I really enjoy being around you…so there’s that.” He explained, and with how quickly Goku’s demeanor changed he was left bewildered,

Vegeta didn’t bother fighting it when Goku rose from his seat and pulled him from his chair into another hug because it wasn’t unwanted, he held his Gi loosely finding a strange comfort in the arms of his fellow Saiyan, “I’m glad to hear that Vegeta, I’ll do my best to assure you you’re safe around me.” Goku said as he let go of him,

“Listen Kakarot I know what I just said but I really feel like beating the shit out of you right now so, shall we?” Vegeta asked almost desperately,

Goku smiled halfheartedly, “Sure Vegeta.”

“Meet you out there as soon as I put my armor on.” He said as he walked towards the washroom,

“Right.”

 


	6. You Broke Me Kakarot...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vegeta has shared the tale of his life before coming to earth, will things now change between the two? Will a closer bond now be shared?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey look at that, I'm not dead...heh heh...  
> Yeah been super busy lately but I have been working on the story when I have time, it's still nowhere near finished but I couldn't leave you guys high and dry for too long even though it's been about a month and a half.  
> The chapter is pretty big so I hope that can tide you guys over for the next month or so depending on my schedule, and heads up the next chapter will make little to no sense to a lot of you, I will mention it in the chapter note for it, but I just wanted to make it known now, and if you have any questions at all I will try to answer them as best I can.
> 
> (Surprisingly no warning for this chapter, besides language but I've had language in the story from chapter 1 so meh, and perhaps a typo or two but there is only so much my eyes can detect after re-reading over and over)

**~**

Vegeta was furious, even someone who didn’t know him could tell he had plunged into a new depth of anger, the conversation filled with raw emotion only moments ago was long gone now, and a new level of aggression replaced it.

_“I didn’t think it was possible even for Vegeta but…his attitude has changed so dramatically I don’t even know if it’s still him in there.”_

They stood facing each other in their Super Saiyan forms surrounded by silence before it was broken abruptly.

“Don’t expect me to become complacent Kakarot, that wasn’t easy for me and I intend to make you pay for bearing witness to such weakness.” Vegeta nearly growled,

Goku noticed the atmosphere around them was starting to change due to Vegeta’s emotions and silently readied himself for whatever the room or his companion could throw at him, _“So the old Vegeta is back huh? That explains a few things, I should be ready for anything.”_

“One day you’ll realize emotion is a part of who you are, and that showing it isn’t weakness.” Goku replied, _“Despite how long you’ve been on earth and the adaptions you’ve made to live here…you still refuse to be human.”_

“So what then? You’re going to force me to show it to you?” Vegeta nearly demanded,

“Of course not…I said I was sorry, and I meant it, I didn’t mean to yell at you.” Goku apologized,

“Save it Kakarot, we’re here to fight not talk.” Vegeta dismissed,

“I will help you see-“ He was abruptly cut off,

“Enough! The only emotion I need is rage; everything else just gets in the way and makes me weak!” Vegeta dismissed, raising his voice,

“You’re wrong and you know it, try convincing yourself before you try and convince me.”

“I won’t let you humiliate me like that again!” Vegeta yelled before his Ki spiked and he charged Goku, “I will make you pay for this Kakarot!”

Goku used his arm to block the punch Vegeta had thrown at him and swiftly kicked him in the stomach knocking him back, “If you fight like this Vegeta you’ll lose, you aren’t using your head.” He warned, as he disappeared and instantly reappeared behind Vegeta knocking him forward,

Vegeta barely had time to dodge the spikes of ice that protruded from the floor out of nowhere, and he swiftly flew higher into the air to find Goku.

_“Where are you, you bastard?!”_

Finding him he fired Ki blasts at him making him dodge out of the way before he struck his back hard on a new pillar of ice. Making use of his opponent’s misfortune he flew down and struck him in the face, knocking him through the ice, breaking it.

“Now who’s not using their head!” Vegeta mocked swinging countless punches and kicks,

Righting himself he guarded against the onslaught, “Lucky break.” Goku dismissed, as they both dodged ice that shot up between them,

“Call it what you will!” Vegeta shouted, as he broke through the ice and continued the attack,

The battle was far different to when they had fought before, Vegeta fought as if he were fighting an enemy that had taken Goku’s place. His attacks were savage but his anger made him sloppy, he would leave himself open often and Goku made use of these moments to attack and knock him down. Right now he wasn’t fighting with his head, he was fighting with his emotions and it was his downfall. With every hit from his opponent Vegeta only flew into more of a rage, Goku would have suggested they don’t fight so hard but he knew Vegeta needed this so he ignored his better judgment and kept on.

 _“You’re not fighting to win are you…you’re fighting to feel, you want a reason to fight for your life, and I provide you with that don’t I?”_ Goku’s mind raced as fervently as he’s battle readied body, _“You don’t understand yourself and so you want to feel what you’ve always known, does it give you a sense of assurance? Keep you grounded? One day I will understand you…”_

Not only was their battle near life-threatening but the constantly changing surroundings of the Time Chamber made it even more dangerous because both had now sustained injuries from the persistent ice spires that appeared out of nowhere. Using a failed attack to his advantage Goku blasted Vegeta backwards before another wall of ice divided them. Having lost a great deal of energy from their fight Vegeta was helpless to stop the blast as he was forced back only to be stopped by an ice spike that wedged itself between his armor drawing blood as it sliced the skin of his back. He gasped in pain as he was suspended in the air by his armor, it was a deep wound and he knew it, but he wasn’t about to let that stop his fight, so he fired a blast to break the ice and then pulled it from his armor with a hiss, just as Goku flew at him.

“This is no time to be taking a breather Vegeta!” Goku nearly mocked,

He dodged the attack and fired his own Ki blast that shredded more of Goku’s Gi, before they once again engaged in a deadlock of punches and kicks before Goku appeared behind Vegeta striking him with enough force to have him crashing into the ground painfully. He rose defiantly and threw himself at Goku before stopping short and firing his Galick Gun at him, leaving Goku with no time to defend before he was hit full force with the attack.

“Maybe you should learn how to dodge!” Vegeta spat back,

The battle persisted with such intensity for hours, with neither of them letting up and now both Saiyans were marred with their own blood, but the battle had persisted long after blood had been spilled, it was starting to become a battle for life itself.

Perhaps for Vegeta it was.

 _“Go ahead and try to understand me Kakarot! Perhaps one day someone will…gods know I never will…”_ He dodged and counterattacked fluently, _“You say you want to help me, then prove it, prove to me that you aren’t just making words! Break down my walls, get in my head, understand how fucked up it is! Prove to me that you aren’t like the rest! Please…”_

Goku’s body ached, the over-used muscles were screaming at him for rest and his stomach for food, but Vegeta seemed unfazed by all of these things and still persistently threw punch after punch. They had been at it for days now and fatigue was playing against him as he was now starting to make simple mistakes that Vegeta exploited. He didn’t even know how they had managed to continue for so long, even after the ice had disappeared as it was simply them battling for dominance in the fight.

 _“Vegeta…I can’t keep this up, I know you want to keep going but I can’t…my body has nothing left to give, how are you even still fighting with such intensity? We’ve been at it for at least two days now…why won’t you just give up?”_ A moment of realization dawned on him, _“What am I saying? You’ve never given up for as long as you’ve lived, so I doubt you’ll start now.”_

Finally he had had enough, their clothes were torn, armor was destroyed, they were bloody, and they were tired and wounded so grabbing Vegeta’s arm after a failed punch he threw him to the ground with enough force to make sure he wouldn’t get up again in a hurry, but watching his opponent land painfully made him suddenly regret the action and so he floated down to him.

“Gee I’m sorry Vegeta I didn’t mean to throw you that hard…but can we rest now we’ve been at it for days, I’m not feeling too great, and I’m starving.” He whined the last part of his sentence like a child; he hated how he had to ignore his hunger for this battle,

Vegeta pushed himself up on hands and knees and flipped onto his back painfully finding that Goku had an outstretched hand to lift him back into the air. Vegeta grabbed his hand before flashing a smile and Goku had no time to react before he was used as a pivoting point for Vegeta’s swing that sent him crashing face first into the ground with a depressed groan. Flopping down hard on his back with his hair reverting to black along with Goku’s Vegeta breathed laboriously, but huffed out a small chuckle as he turned his head to see Goku looking at him.

“Why?” He whined painfully,

“Now…we…can rest.” Vegeta sighed,

After a significant pause passed between them with only their labored breathing disrupting the silence Goku flipped onto his back.

“I don’t think…I can, Gah…move.” Goku’s voiced hitched as he tried to rise so he flopped back down, “I wish I had of grabbed that bag of Senzu beans from Korin now…”

“Kakarot you’re pathetic.” Vegeta mocked,

“I don’t see you moving either Vegeta.”

“Shut up.” There wasn’t much effort to his retort it was more for appearances sake than anything else,

“Do you think the time chamber has a first aid kit somewhere?” Goku asked,

“No idea…but let’s hope for our sake it does, I don’t think the women would like it if we came back looking like we’d gone to war.” Vegeta replied, _“Although with how we were fighting we might as well have been at war…by Saiyan standards.”_

Goku chuckled painfully, “Yeah you’re right Chi-Chi is gonna freak if she sees me like this, you should have seen her after you nearly broke all the bones in my body, she was not impressed.”

“Well thankfully for the both of us that fat bastard cut off my tail, so I won’t be turning into the mighty Oozaru ever again.” Vegeta said,

“Why the both of us, I thought you saw your tail as the epitome of strength for our race?”

“I hated that form, transforming into something so grotesque just to achieve the level of power I needed…at least for my sake I was in complete control of my form, and not a mindless beast like everyone else.” Vegeta explained,

“I can agree with that I guess…I wish I had of known I could transform years ago, or else I wouldn’t have killed as many people as I did…even Grandpa Gohan.”

Vegeta turned to look at Goku who seemed to stare blankly upward, “You never ended up seeing him in otherworld?”

“I was going to ask king Yemma if I could see him…but I guess I just can’t face him after what I did…maybe I will eventually when I can muster the courage to face him.” Goku’s voice was somewhat sad,

Vegeta continued to study the Saiyan for a moment longer, “We’ve been lying here long enough don’t you think…shall we see if we can at least get back to the entrance so we can rest comfortably?”

“Yeah I think I have some of my energy back now, but I think I might need your help walking, I can’t really feel my legs.” Goku agreed,

“Let’s compromise Kakarot.”

After a short amount of time passed, they found themselves at least rested enough to attempt walking back to the entrance so they could rest comfortably; they leant against each other for support as they limped back. Sometime later found Vegeta lying in the bath, his back pressed into one of the corners hiding his injury. With his eyes closed and arms folded against his chest, he was almost asleep fatigue about to claim him. They hadn’t bothered tending their wounds yet they could do that afterwards, all they wanted to do was rest. Suddenly there was a loud splash as Goku broke through the surface of the water gasping for air, startling Vegeta in his tired state he looked over to see the ridiculously goofy grin on his fellow Saiyans face.

“Wow that feels so much better.” His face contorted for a brief second as a tensed muscle reminded him of its overexertion,

Vegeta sunk deeper into the cool water, “Kakarot can’t you just sit still for one minute.”

Goku looked up from rubbing soap through his wet hair to clean it, “I’m not sure how long we were out there Vegeta, but I need a good clean, I’m still getting blood off.”

“Kakarot you’re a warrior you worry too much about your appearance.”

Goku slapped the water shooting it towards Vegeta who was hit directly in the face, “Maybe you don’t worry enough about yours.”

“Honestly Kakarot stop trying to find every opportunity you get to piss me off.” He wiped the water off his face as he heard a plop in front of him; Goku had tossed him the soap,

Vegeta stared at him blankly clearly unamused with his antics, “I don’t want to smell you either Vegeta.”

“Whatever Kakarot, if it’ll make you leave me alone.”

Goku smiled tiredly, “Thanks Vegeta.”

He grunted a response and fished around in the water for the soap.

Once they were both clean much to Goku’s pleasure they were resting peacefully in opposite corners of the bath simply enjoying the cool water, opening his eyes Vegeta considered the man before him.

“Do you ever wander what it would have been like Kakarot?” He asked,

Goku lifted his drooping head to look at Vegeta with one eye closed, “Wander what, what would have been like?” He asked curiously,

“What life would have been like had Bardock not sent you to earth, if you had of been taken by Frieza along with me and survived the destruction of our home planet?”

“Gee Vegeta I can’t say I’ve ever thought about that before, you have?” Goku asked seemingly curious, shifting his position to sit more comfortably,

“A few times…I keep wandering if you could have defeated him long ago, or you would have been too weak and would have ended up like me.” Vegeta answered, he noticed Goku considered what he said for a moment before speaking,

“Even if we weren’t friends back then like we are now, I wouldn’t have been able to stand by and watch as you were treated as you were, so perhaps that would have been the push I needed to become a Super Saiyan way back then.” Goku offered,

“Perhaps, growing up under the Saiyan ways teaches you that you are to care nothing for your brothers and sisters, so perhaps you would have just seen me as weak and cared nothing about me.”

“That’s not true I would have.” Goku protested,

“You hit your head as a baby remember…that’s the only reason you are so kindhearted if you never took that blow you would probably be just as ruthless as me if not more.” Vegeta reminded,

“Maybe, I was told that I was pretty mean as a kid until I bumped my head.” Goku rubbed the back of his head unknowingly, “But I still don’t think I would have been able to stand by and ignore what was going on…why do you think about it Vegeta, do you wish we had of grown up together?”

Vegeta was silent for a while, “I guess it would have been nice to have someone like you by my side through it all…but that’s neither here nor there.” Goku gave him an empathetic look,

“But what if you had been sent to earth with me?”

“What?” The question somewhat surprised Vegeta,

“What if you had of lived on earth with me, haven’t you ever thought about that?” Goku asked cheerily,

Vegeta shivered teasingly, “And be soft and pathetic on the battlefield? No thank you, at least one of us acts like a true warrior…but anyway, I was of royal blood there would never have been a chance that I would be sent to earth with you.” He considered what he had said, _“Is that even true though? Tarble was sent off long ago and I was handed over to Frieza so perhaps I’m wrong…”_

“Think about it though, it would have been really nice to have someone like you to train with and help defend earth, there were some times when I really could have used a fighter like you. You probably could have taught me about the Saiyans and stopped me from transforming on nights of the full moon too.” Goku continued ignoring Vegeta’s jest,

“I bet you could have…” Vegeta stared off into the distant, “But had I been sent to earth with you, I wouldn’t know anything about our culture either even though I am older than you by a few years…how different would my life have been?” He seemed to phase out as he perhaps imagined what his life could have been like, “Would I have cared if I ever found out Frieza destroyed planet Vegeta?”

Goku didn’t think Vegeta was even talking to him anymore as he mused to himself, “I couldn’t tell you, I never grew up there.”

“Knowing he killed our entire race is maddening though, we’re alone Kakarot…our half-saiyan sons will never understand that though, but it is just you and me.” Goku nodded in understanding, “Perhaps it’s a good thing though.” He added with a half-lidded stare,

“What?”

“Look at it this way Kakarot, if more warriors came to earth we would have to kill them, wouldn’t you rather have someone else be responsible for destroying your race?” Vegeta paused for a moment giving Goku time to consider his words, “I knew killing Nappa was a good idea because if I went back to Frieza with him in his condition things would have been far worse…but I’d have to kill him later anyway if he decided to come back, because if he wasn’t willing to accept life on earth I wouldn’t give him the chance to destroy it…but that’s if things would have turned out the same as they have now of course.” He explained,

“Yeah…you’ve grown accustomed to life on earth pretty nicely though.” Goku said with a smile,

“It’s not half bad to look at, the weather is nice, and the food is great so I can’t complain.” Vegeta offered, Stretching out slightly he made to speak again, “But I have to know, how did you feel killing Raditz, he was your brother after all?”

Goku paused for a moment as he thought, “I didn’t know him, he may have been my brother but he threatened, and hurt Gohan, so I didn’t feel bad holding him while Piccolo killed him, I just wished there was a way to avoid my death.” He replied,

“I may have heard the conversation and fighting between the both of you, and I will admit you grabbing his tail was great, he never trained it and it was fun to pull on it on occasion, but how did you find him a challenge, he was weak…just like a Saibamen?”

“Well…I wasn’t used to fighting someone with his power level at that point, so if it wasn’t for Piccolo then he probably would have succeeded in taking over earth.” Goku explained,

Silence ensued for a moment.

“You know Kakarot I still think of our first battle.” Vegeta said, breaking it,

“Really, why?”

“It’s nice to remember the time when I was far stronger than you, and could have crushed you like an insect.” Vegeta answered plainly,

Goku stared at him blankly after his response, “Yeah that was a long time ago…I honestly expected you to kill me, Yajirobe kinda saved me there.” He tried to lighten the mood,

“I was going to kill you.”

“Vegeta.”

“But…I’m glad I didn’t have the chance.”

Goku smiled, “Thanks Vegeta…”

“Don’t let it go to your head Kakarot it’s not like I haven’t said I value your friendship before.” Vegeta dismissed as he tilted his head to the side, “Do you mind if I ask you something?”

“Shoot Vegeta you’ve never asked for permission before, what’s on your mind?” Goku asked in return,

“When we fought for the first time on earth why didn’t your spirit bomb kill me, I know how it works now, it target’s the evil within someone and then destroys them, but why didn’t I die?”

“That’s a good question…it wasn’t as powerful as it could have been since I was in pretty bad shape when I gave my remaining energy to Krillin, but in your weakened state it should have easily destroyed you.” Goku wandered,

Vegeta seemed to put some more thought into it as his brow furrowed.

“But maybe you just didn’t have enough evil in your heart, I mean given your past you never really chose to be a cold-blooded killer did you?” Goku asked,

“I grew up on killing…so I did choose to be a murderer…and after I had to serve Frieza I saw every life I took as if it was my right because they were weak, living under him was a fate worse than death and they were innocent, they didn’t deserve that, but I knew that if I failed I would be reminded of my place...” Vegeta explained,

Goku observed Vegeta for a moment as he watched the emotions paint his face, “But it doesn’t matter now you’re one of the good guys.” He somewhat teased,

“One day I’ll make you pay for turning the Prince of all Saiyans into a goody-two-show.” Vegeta threatened desultoriously, he never liked being referred to as one of the good guys even if it was true,

Goku chuckled halfheartedly, “I think you did when you tricked me earlier…want me to make us some food? I can get out first and get started.” He offered,

“Sure, even though I don’t know how either of us are still able to move after our fight…and then we need to look for a first aid kit.” Vegeta reminded,

“Oh yeah.” Goku looked at himself seeing the cuts on his skin,

He stepped out of the tub and let out a childish whine, “Aww man, I’ve gone all wrinkly.”

Vegeta hid a smile that played at his lips, _“For better or worse, that’s my Kakarot.”_

Goku had been gone for a while preparing food as Vegeta remained somewhat comfortably pressed against his corner of the bath slipping in and out of sleep, he was far more exhausted than he had anticipated. Shifting slightly he looked down at himself, he was bruised quite thoroughly, and even though his alien physiology would heal him fast enough he was worse for wear than he imagined he would have been, but that was to be expected he was reckless on the battlefield. He hadn’t really cared that he had given Kakarot so many openings to strike him, because regardless of how much energy he burned through with his blind swings his rage replenished what was spent and kept him going.

He wanted it though.

He wanted the pain, and the humiliation.

The pain from Kakarot’s blows and the humiliation that came with being hit.

With the mood he was in when they started sparring he needed to feel both, he needed a real fight, a fury driven fight that would end when one of them was beaten lifelessly into the dirt. Of course it hadn’t ended like that, though at times he felt as if his very life depended on it. Kakarot made sure he never went too far over the edge, his anchor to keep him sane, the balance between a fight to the death and a vigorous battle. Why had Kakarot become his counterpart that he needed to stay sane, the low ranking pureblood had a strange way of making him feel at ease, as if combating and spending time with another of his kind gave him solace. He knew it couldn’t last like this; they would have to return to their world, and their lives, even though fighting was in their blood and it’s all that they really wanted to do, spending a year together doing nothing but fighting was invigorating.

Even his irrational fear of his companion was slipping.

“Vegeta foods done.” Goku called loudly,

He heard the call and it made his stomach twist in pained hunger, having run on an empty stomach for their whole fight had finally caught up to him, so pulling himself up out of the bath’s cool water he stepped out and grabbed a towel to dry himself.

As he dried himself he froze in shock as he realized something strange about his body, he looked to the side and saw his water soaked tail, _“How the fuck did that grow back?!”_ He used the towel to rub his face before looking to see if he was hallucinating after being awake for as long as he had, but it was definitely still there.

He didn’t know if he was scared or just plain dumbfounded, perhaps it was both.

He had spent years without it and he didn’t know how this was going to affect him. Hesitantly he grabbed his regrown tail and squeezed it tightly, he was relieved when he found that it was unaffected by his grip and so drying it the best he could he wound it around his waist and quickly adorned his human attire.

 _“There’s no telling how that clown is going to act once he finds out I have somehow regrown my tail…hell I don’t even know how this happened.”_ He winced inwardly at the thought, _“I guess I should really thank Bulma for packing human clothes as well as training...fuck I still have to attend to my injuries.”_ It really wasn’t his day,

Walking out of the washroom into the main area the smell of food overwhelmed him and if it wasn’t for retaining his appearance he swore he could have started drooling, but instead he walked to his side of the table and sat down examining the large amount of food in front of him. He was starving there was no denying that, but his tiredness made him question if he wanted to eat or just go sleep for the next few hours then come back, his choice was made however as soon as Kakarot sat down and started wolfing down his share. Once Vegeta had finished eating he rested his elbow on the table and leaned against it staring pointlessly into the white nothingness of the time chamber, Goku slid an unfinished plate of dumplings towards Vegeta and it brushed against his elbow making him turn back around.

He gave Kakarot a look as if asking ‘why’, “I figured you’re hungrier than I am.” Goku simply offered,

Vegeta ground his teeth together as he remembered Kakarot had heard him before in the washroom, “However if I’m wrong…” Goku made to take the plate back but Vegeta slapped his hand away,

When they had both finished eating Goku leaned his chair back on two legs, “Man I really needed that.” He patted his stomach, “Now I’m gonna go find out if we can treat our wounds, cause if not we’re gonna have a few new scars…until we can get our hands on a Senzu bean anyway.” He said which made Vegeta look up,

_“Shit.”_

He watched as Goku walked into the store room his mind racing a mile a minute as he tried to find a way to avoid taking his shirt off.

“Hey Vegeta, we’re in luck I found one.” Goku called loudly, as he walked out carrying it over to one of the beds, “Come on over we may as well be comfortable for this.” He reasoned,

Vegeta swallowed hard but rose to his feet and walked over regardless, _“Why am I even bothered if he finds out?”_ He wandered, _“I assume he’s going to want to touch it, but I can stop him if he tries, with his childish nature though he’s no doubt going to be persistent…I’m too tired to be dealing with this right now, my body doesn’t even want to walk…”_ He whined inwardly, he shook his head at his own thoughts he never whined, but then again he’d never been this tired around Kakarot before,

Most of the injuries Goku had sustained were minor, and would most likely heal on their own with time, but Vegeta had sustained a great deal more considering he was fighting in a blind rage and wasn’t using the tactic Goku had grown accustomed to around him. The brunt of the attacks had been blocked so Goku’s arms were worse for wear than the rest of his body that was somewhat painted in bruises unlike Vegeta who looked as if he had been put through the ringer. Finally Vegeta sat down on the bed in front of Goku and folded his arms across his chest habitually as he waited for Kakarot to finish tending to himself so that he could bind his own injuries. He was almost hesitant to find out how bad the one on his back was, but he realized that was impossible without Kakarot’s help and that in itself made him sigh.

“I’m almost done Vegeta.” Goku said, as he assumed the sigh was from impatience,

“Take your time.” Vegeta simply responded, as he leaned back against the pillar of the bed which evoked a hiss as pressure was applied to his wound,

“Are you alright?” Goku asked looking up from his work,

“I’m fine.”

Goku finished tying a knot in the bandage around his left arm with his teeth before he returned his attention to Vegeta, “If you turn around I can take a look for you if you like.” He offered,

“I said I’m fine.” Vegeta repeated with more force,

Goku looked at him puzzlingly, “Why are you so against me helping you right now?”

Vegeta realized he was making a bigger fuss than was necessary, _“Maybe I should just give in…”_ He sighed audibly before he slipped off his shirt and turned his back to Kakarot setting one foot on the floor to steady himself,

“Ouch…when did this happen?” Goku asked softly,

 _“Has he…not even noticed yet?”_ Vegeta was surprised to say the least, “You pushed me back with your Kamehameha and ice wedged itself between my armor.”

“You should have said something it must have been painful.”

“It wasn’t going to affect my fighting so I didn’t see a reason to say anything.” Vegeta responded,

“Well it’s pretty deep so I’m not surprised it hurts now.” Goku said as he poked it slightly,

“Don’t touch it you idiot!” Vegeta growled,

“I’m not the one who made it bleed just now, you are.”

“I’m too tired for this Kakarot just get on with it…” Vegeta said wearily,

“Alright hold this here for me for a moment.” Goku instructed as he took Vegeta’s hand and placed it on the gauze pad to hold it in place while he grabbed the bandage,

 _“What luck do I have right now for him to not notice my tail…perhaps the gods are smiling on me today.”_ Although he realized he shouldn’t celebrate yet because there was still a chance he would notice,

“Lift your other arm.”

Vegeta did as he was told so that Goku could wrap the bandage around his chest, a small blush crept onto his cheeks, and he stiffened as he felt the contact of Goku’s hands, even now he was able to toy with his emotions like a puppet master would his marionette.

“Okay you can let go now.” Vegeta then put both his hands behind his head, “Are you still…angry?” Goku asked curiously,

“Hm?”

“When we were fighting you were angry, I could see that…I guess I know why but I was just asking if you still felt that way now?” Goku repeated,

He remained silent.

Goku paused from his work and stared down, “I’m sorrier for what I did than you know Vegeta.”

“Kakarot…I get it, you have a right to be angry for what I said, it was uncalled for…saying you were anything like him, but I won’t lie when I say I felt betrayed when you tried to force the issue.” He said carefully choosing his words,

“I know…”

“My whole life has been controlled, my every action dictated by others, I never expected you to do the same thing…I know what you were trying to do but…it’s just not that simple, I can’t just talk about something like this, every time I do, the emotions and the memories come flooding back. I also want you to know…I’ve never allowed anything that I was forced to endure to break me, but what you did was the final stroke…you broke me Kakarot.” Vegeta explained,

_You broke me…_

_“I knew it, I knew I did.”_ Goku grit his teeth, “You never said anything then but…do you…can you forgive me?”

Vegeta turned his head to the side to partially look behind him, “Can you promise me you’ll never do anything like that again? That you’ll give me the time and patience necessary for me to be able to…open up to you?”

“You have my word Vegeta, I’ll never push you again, I swear.” Goku answered quickly,

“Then yes Kakarot…I forgive you. I also want you to know that…I’m glad I could talk to you, I’ve obviously never spoken to anyone about this before, and I’m certain that if I had tried to tell anyone other than you I wouldn’t have felt the way I did…I’m not going to say I feel better…but I do in a way, if that makes sense.” Explaining himself was always hard but it was doubly so since he was tired,

“It does, and thank you.”

Vegeta could practically hear the smile in his voice, “You really are hopeless.”

“Yeah I know.”

Vegeta huffed a small chuckle and soon a small moment of silence had passed.

“Though I was kinda worried about what you were saying earlier too, I thought after everything you told me you thought you were weak, when in fact it took a lot of strength to be able to open up that much, and to me of all people.” Goku continued wrapping the bandage around Vegeta’s torso,

“I guess I do though…”

“Why, there’s nothing wrong with showing your humanity…I’m certainly not going to think your weak because of it.” Goku reasoned,

“I know…but in moments like those I’m vulnerable, and it makes we feel weak and exposed, unguarded if you will, after so long of being put down and ridiculed for such things it’s hard to think differently of myself…but I’m learning slowly…” Vegeta explained, “No one else will ever see this side to me so consider yourself privileged.” He added, after a pause to consider if he wanted to voice his thoughts,

_“For you Kakarot…I show you my heart…to you and no one else.”_

“I do actually…I feel like what we have has come a long way and I’m happy for that.” Goku agreed, _“You’ve needed someone to get close to you like this for a long time now…I’m glad you’ve let me into your world.”_

“As am I.” Vegeta seconded, as a deeper blush crossed his face, _“Will this end once we leave this place…? I don’t want it to end…”_

Goku wrapped the final piece of the bandage around Vegeta’s chest and then tied it securely just behind his shoulder, “Well that does it for now, looks like we’ll be resting for a while so that you won’t open the wound again.”

“Thanks.” Vegeta adorned his shirt again, _“I guess today is my day after all.”_ He thought to himself as he turned around to face Kakarot,

“While I’m at it you might as well put your arms out so I can bandage them too, you got cut pretty bad from the ice.” Goku offered, so Vegeta willingly accepted the offer,

He let out a prolonged yawn as he held his arms out individually for Goku to bind, “How long do you think we were fighting?”

“I don’t know…for more than a day at least…are you holding up okay?” Goku asked,

“What do you mean?” Vegeta questioned,

“You’re not seeing things are you?”

“No thankfully, everything seems to be fine for now.” Vegeta replied on a breath,

“Good, I just wanted to make sure since we’ve been up for longer than we should have.” Goku said with weary enthusiasm, as he finished securing the bandage around Vegeta’s arm,

Vegeta let out another yawn.

“Come on let’s go to sleep.” Goku said, as he pushed the kit under the bed to perhaps be forgotten later,

Vegeta eyed Kakarot strangely for a moment, “Your beds over there Kakarot.” He said as he pointed to his right without breaking his gaze,

Goku grabbed Vegeta’s hand and pulled him closer to him, “What the hell Kakarot!?” Vegeta hissed in demand, as a small blush appeared, his tiredness disappearing instantly,

“Look Vegeta I know you’re not going to like it but…I want us to sleep in the same bed for now.” Goku said calmly his face lit with compassion,

“What! Are you out of your mind?! I’m not sleeping with you!” Vegeta continued, the fierce expression on his face would have scared off anyone else,

“That’s not…really what I’m saying…I don’t want you to have another nightmare and have to wait forever for me to come rescue you again, if you want I won’t get close to you I swear.” He explained, his voice was hinted with nervous innocence,

Vegeta tore his arm out of Kakarot’s grip and growled in defeat, “Spoon me Kakarot and you’ll lose it.” He threatened, Goku laughed nervously while rubbing the back of his head,

The bed was large enough for them both to sleep comfortably and Vegeta lay on his side with his back to Kakarot his eyes open in the darkened space thanks to the curtains. He could already hear his fellow Saiyan’s snoring so he knew he had nothing to worry about but still he worried. He swore with how hard his heart was pounding against his chest Kakarot should have been able to hear it but still the Saiyan slept soundly. Why was the sleeping form beside him giving him so much turmoil? He just wanted to sleep, he was exhausted.

He flinched suddenly as an arm flopped over his shoulder, his face then went blank and he sighed, _“Damn you Kakarot…can’t you leave me in peace just once?”_ He cursed in his head,

Slowly however his mind began to fog and he soon succumbed to sleeps sweet embrace.


	7. Wanting You...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sleeping alongside Kakarot will Vegeta be able to find his peace at last?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I gotta tell ya, I hate this chapter...  
> You would not believe how much I hate every word in this chapter, I even discontinued the story for a while due to the controversy around it. People took away 2 totally different versions to this chapter, which I will assume means that a lot of you will be doing the same.  
> I can't do anything about that I know, all I can do is sit here and try to answer any questions you may have as best I can unless some answers that you have are answered in the next chapter.  
> To sum it up, no one really had a clue what was going on...which I understand because what makes sense to me rarely ever makes sense to anyone else. So guys if you have questions don't sit their trying to formulate your own. Ask me what you want to know, I won't bite I'll answer any question.

* * *

 

When Vegeta finally woke he felt well rested and rejuvenated. He had no idea how long he had been asleep but he didn’t care. Besides training he didn’t have anything important to do anyway. He was still lying on his side curled slightly, and he resisted the urge to stretch out for the moment. As he grew more aware of his surroundings however he realized something was touching him. Suddenly remembering he was sleeping in the same bed with Kakarot he rolled over slightly almost afraid to face whatever was coming in contact with him.

Goku was playing with his tail.

“Kakarot, what the hell do you think you’re doing!?” He nearly screeched as he rolled over completely.

Startled, Goku released it immediately, “Nothing!”

“What did I tell you about touching me!?” Vegeta pulled his tail behind him, a reddish tone painting his cheeks.

“It’s not my fault. It came over to my side.” Goku defended.

“Well, who said you could touch it!?”

“Sorry, Vegeta…I guess I just couldn’t help myself. I haven’t seen your tail since our first battle...how did you get it back?” Goku’s voice had softened considerably.

“I have no idea. It just came back after I got out of the bath.” He explained, “You just never noticed!”

“Huh…interesting.” Goku muttered.

“What the hell has gotten into you lately, Kakarot…?” Vegeta looked behind himself at his tail that was dancing excitedly; he screwed his face up in defeat, _‘Fuck…I haven’t had to deal with this in such a long time I’d forgotten that my tail can portray my mood…’_

“…I don’t know.” The look Goku gave Vegeta made him tense up slightly as he felt his heart beat against his chest.

Vegeta’s tail tapping the covers enthusiastically distracted them both, “What’s up with your tail?” Goku asked curiously.

“N-never mind that.” Vegeta was blushing.

“Vegeta?”  
  
He turned his head away, hiding how red his face was getting. He then felt the weight on the bed shift as he turned his head around to find that Kakarot’s face was inches away from his. Instinctively he pushed himself away which in turn had him flat against the bed. Fear washed over him as a shiver of apprehension coursed through his body.  
  
“Ka-Kakarot.”  
  
“Tell me, Vegeta.” Goku’s voice was strangely calm fueling the anxiety welling within him.  
  
“What?” The control Vegeta had over his voice was gone.  
  
“It’s not just me, is it; you feel something too, don’t you?”  
  
“What!?”  
  
“You feel something towards me don’t you, Vegeta?”  
  
Vegeta’s eyes widened, “Y-You’re wrong.” He protested, “I’d never allow myself to be attracted to you.”  
  
“Really? Your body says otherwise.”  
  
In an instant Goku’s form became that of Frieza, as that was one of his favorite lines, and Vegeta gasped fearfully, “No…don’t say that, please don’t ever say that.”  
  
“Vegeta? What’s wrong?” Goku asked concernedly. “Did I just trigger something?”  
  
Goku watched as an evident fear took hold of Vegeta’s features. He extended his hand to reassure him but he instantly stopped in his tracks.  
  
“Don’t touch me…please get back.” Vegeta almost pleaded as he trembled slightly,  
  
Goku instantly retracted back into a sitting position and as soon as he did Frieza’s form disappeared, leaving Vegeta to stare upward in an attempt to comprehend what had just happened.

 

“I’m sorry Vegeta…I shouldn’t have done that…said that, but I couldn’t control myself…I forgot to consider your feelings.”  
  
Vegeta was speechless. He still wasn’t sure what to make of what had just transpired. Of course it wasn’t the first time he had seen Kakarot’s serious side, but everything had happened so fast he was left in a daze. After a moment passed he rose into a sitting position, his tail wrapping around him in a half-circle on the sheets.  
  
His stare was dark and blank, “Why?”  
  
“What?” Goku’s voice was still hitched with despair.  
  
“Why did you have to say that…? Frieza used to say that to me all the time…I never thought you would too.”  
  
“I’m sorry, I didn’t say it to hurt you. I forgot that it would bother you this much.” Goku apologized, _‘I must have become Frieza in his eyes…damn it.’_  
  
“Why did you say it?”  
  
Goku tensed, “…Well I’ve been holding back on how I really feel about you for a while now because of everything that’s happened. But seeing your tail made me realize how much I wanted you…I could see that you felt the same but I knew you would never admit it.” He explained, and a deep blush returned to Vegeta’s face.  
  
“Why…why do you…want me?” Vegeta’s voice was hesitant and nervous.  
  
“I…don’t really know. There’s just something in you that draws me towards you like a beacon: perhaps because we’re both Saiyans and you have a strength that I’ve never seen in anyone my whole life.” He looked to Vegeta hopefully.  
  
“Why do you mock me?”  
  
“I’m not mocking you, Vegeta…I’ve seen what other people don’t see…I don’t just see the side that’s a fighter, a warrior. I see a man trying to live, and in spite of it all, you really are a strong person.”  
  
“You know I’m not strong…I’m weak…I’m a weak bitch…” Vegeta balled his fists.  
  
“No, you’re not; don’t say that…you're way stronger than I’ll ever be.” Goku insisted, as he reached over to rest a reassuring hand on his fellow Saiyans shoulder  
  
Vegeta turned to him curiously, “How?”  
  
“Because of everything you’ve been through in your life…sure, you break down once in a while like everyone else, but you get up, and you keep going. Anyone else who’d been through even half of what you have would have taken their own lives…and I admire you. You never act like there’s anything wrong with you and that takes strength. You are a figure for people to look up too and I’m proud to know you.”

 

Vegeta was somewhat taken back by Goku’s words.  
  
“So what then…you want to be like everyone else? You want the privilege of saying you fucked your fallen prince?” He was fighting against the feeling of worthlessness but it was a losing battle,  
  
“Vegeta.” There was an irritation in his voice, “Sure, I want more than our friendship…but if it’s going to cost me what we have now, then I’m not stupid enough to force the matter. It’s up to you. It always has been, even if I didn’t make that clear just now.” Goku explained. _‘I made him a promise and I’ve already broken it…without concern for what that would mean…perhaps I will never be able to treat him as he needs me to. Will I always hurt him even with my good intentions?’  
_  
“W-Why is it up to me?” Vegeta asked nervously, breaking Goku from his thoughts.  
  
“Because I’m giving you a choice…you’ve never had a choice before so I’m giving you one now.” Goku said.  
  
“How…how is this a choice? How am I supposed to react this?!” His heart was pounding rapidly in his chest. “Have you never considered the others…Chi-Chi, Bulma, Gohan, Goten, and Trunks?” Vegeta asked.  
  
“We make our families happy don’t we, Vegeta?”  
  
“…I guess.” Vegeta had no idea how that question was related to what he had asked.  
  
“Then don’t we deserve to be happy, too?” Goku questioned,  
  
“But what happens if they find out?”  
  
“Does that mean you’re considering it, Vegeta?” Goku had a smile too wide for his own good.  
  
“Answer the question, Kakarot. I’m serious.”  
  
“We disappear together all the time to train. It’s not like they would suspect something. I think by now they’re used to the level of power we give out.” Goku put a finger to his chin in thought.  
  
“What…what do you mean…? That’s not what I was asking.” Vegeta was almost concerned when he heard that.  
  
“Oh, what were you asking then?”  
  
“What happens if our wives find out?”  
  
“As long as we don’t act differently towards each other when they’re around, we have nothing to worry about.” Goku replied.  
  
“You’re not worrying about this enough.” Vegeta said.  
  
“Or you’re worrying about it too much.”  
  
Vegeta sighed; his tail had regained some of its enthusiasm from before as it tapped softly against the bed. “You’re a strange one, Kakarot. You don’t pity me, yet you praise me for a power I don’t possess…and despite what you know about me, you still want me…I don’t think I’ll ever understand you.”  
  
“You never said ‘no’ to my question, Vegeta.” Goku leaned in closer, startling him as he did so. “So does that mean…?” He continued until Vegeta placed his tail against Goku’s face to stop him,

 

“You’re…horny…aren’t you, Kakarot?”  
  
“Yeah, a little…your tail got me that way.” He rubbed the back of his head.  
  
“Why are you so interested in my tail?” Vegeta asked curiously.  
  
“I don’t know; but when it dances around like that, it turns me on.” His honesty was pitiful.  
  
“You’re pathetic, Kakarot…” He chided, closing his eyes and tilting his head as he spoke, they instantly snapped open when he felt Goku grab his tail again. “Don’t grab it of your own accord! Let Go!”  
  
Goku squeezed it and a shiver of ecstasy coursed through Vegeta’s body making him gasp, “Fucking Hell!”  
  
“Vegeta…I didn’t think your tail was like Raditz’s.”  
  
A twitch of fear slivered over his face, “I…It’s not…just let it go dumbass.”  
  
“Vegeta?” There was a mischievous tone to his voice and Vegeta panicked. “What aren’t you telling me?”  
  
“N-Nothing, now let it go.” Goku released his grip and then squeezed again. Vegeta ground his teeth to stifle the sound he was about to make. _‘Gods…why does it feel so…good when he touches it…’  
_  
“Then you shouldn’t mind if I do this.” Goku lifted Vegeta’s tail to his mouth and opened wide.  
  
“Kakarot, no!” He begged, Goku closed his mouth again and looked to Vegeta.  
  
“Yes?” He asked as if waiting to be told the truth behind Vegeta’s strange reaction to his tail being grabbed.  
  
“I’ll…I’ll tell you, if you stop.”  
  
“Alright.” Goku still hadn’t released his grip on his tail.  
  
“Let me go first.” Goku then relinquished his grip. Vegeta held his tail close to him, keeping it safe as he grew more and more flustered. “Yes, Vegeta?”  
  
“Why do I…have to tell you…? Can’t you just leave it alone?”  
  
Goku couldn’t deny how much he was enjoying this side to Vegeta. “I could just grab it again until you decide you want to tell me.”  
  
“Alright, alright. Just keep away from it.”  
  
_‘How am I supposed to explain to this idiot that I’m turned on by him right now…this is the first time I’ve even experienced this…you never prepared me for this, Father…damn you.’_  
  
Vegeta swallowed hard, “As…you know, unlike Raditz’s tail, mine is unaffected when grabbed in battle. However…” He trailed off.  
  
“Yes?” Goku drawled overenthusiastically.  
  
Vegeta had started to fidget uncomfortably with his tail. “When…a Saiyan is…” He swallowed nervously again. “A-Aroused…it becomes incredibly sensitive…but not painfully…in fact it’s quite the…opposite.” He was blushing so hard he wanted to hide his face in shame after he had finished.  
  
_‘So I was right, he does feel something for me, I knew it…but I wonder…’_ He was both excited and curious. “Does it disturb you when I touch it?” He asked.  
  
“W-What?”  
  
“When I touch your tail, does it bring up bad memories at all?” Goku seemed overly curious.  
  
“Why are you asking?” Vegeta’s voice held concern.  
  
“Because I like playing with it, but if it bothers you, I won’t do it.” Goku answered simply,  
  
This was new territory for him, and he wasn’t sure where to go with it, “N-Not really, but that doesn’t mean I like you playing with it either. So it’s not an invitation.” Vegeta was still blushing.  
  
Goku crept forward on his hands and knees towards Vegeta, who in turn crawled away nervously until he reached the pillow. If he went back any further he would have fallen off the bed, he felt a shiver of apprehension go up his spine as Goku was now leaning over him, his hands beside his head.  
  
He swallowed a hard lump that suddenly seemed to manifest itself in his throat and tried to compose himself, “Ka-Kakarot…what are you doing?” He asked.  
  
“Just relax, Vegeta…I’m not going to hurt you…you’re so tense at the moment.” He stared down at the Saiyan almost as a predator would its prey.  
  
Vegeta’s tail twitched to the side nervously as he turned his head, not wanting to look into Goku’s face, but he soon felt a hand pull his head back.

 

Goku studied his face, finding nothing but fear and nervousness, so he smiled calmly.  
  
“It’s me…you don’t have to be afraid.” Goku assured.  
  
Vegeta averted his eyes, ‘Damn you, Kakarot…when did I become so soft, to allow you to toy with me in such a manner?’  
  
Shock made his body twitch as he felt Kakarot’s warm lips on his. His hands jerked beside him for a moment before fumbling against Kakarot’s chest. While trying to pry him off Vegeta felt Kakarot’s tongue begging for entrance. He didn’t want to let him in so he pressed his lips firmly together.

 

Finally Goku drew back.  
  
“D-Don’t kiss me…” Vegeta breathed as his hands loosely held onto the front of Goku’s gi.  
  
“Why…? I’m sure no one else has ever kissed you like this. Been this gentle…or am I wrong?” His voice was so calm that it made Vegeta tense,  
  
“Stop…saying unnecessary things.”  
  
“Why? I enjoy it when you shy away like this, Vegeta. I can hardly bear it.”  
  
Goku slowly closed the gap between them again as he pressed feather light kisses on Vegeta’s lips. He continued doing so until he felt him loosen enough to deepen the kiss again, this time his tongue gently slid inside and made contact with Vegeta’s and Goku could feel him tremble. Finally they drew apart, a single line of saliva still connecting them. Goku looked down at Vegeta while licking his lips and saw that his face was flushed and he was breathing slightly erratically, but aside from that he was submissively docile while his tail danced about rhythmically.  
  
“Was I right, Vegeta?” Goku cooed softly.  
  
He opened his eyes half-liddedly, “Stop…toying with me, Kakarot.”  
  
Goku chuckled slightly and smiled as he shifted his weight onto his left elbow while his right hand trailed down Vegeta’s chest and then slid back up under his shirt and bandages as he snapped them. He then caught a nipple which made Vegeta hiss, his eyes were tightly closed and he was biting his lip to stifle any sounds. He saw Vegeta open his eyes slightly and then throw his head to the side to avoid his gaze. Goku considered him for a moment, he was studying his body language to determine how he felt about the situation and still he saw apprehension even though Vegeta wasn’t vocally protesting. He leant closer and ran his tongue along the side of Vegeta’s neck up to his ear. Licking the inside of his ear Goku felt Vegeta trembling underneath his touch and as he both licked and fondled him relentlessly, he also noticed the grip on his Gi tighten.  
  
He smelt blood.  
  
He lifted himself on his elbow and withdrew the hand under Vegeta’s shirt, peering down at him concernedly he noticed that his bottom lip was bleeding from the pressure that was being applied to it to silence the sounds demanding escape.  
  
“Vegeta…” Goku gently grabbed his chin and turned his head so that Vegeta would look at him.  
  
He opened his eyes to stare at the Saiyan looming over him and Goku could see he was misty-eyed; he stared at Vegeta curiously. If he didn’t want to continue why wasn’t he protesting? Why wasn’t Vegeta telling him to get off him? Goku noticed the pressure of the bite was still present and leaned down, licking the blood from his lip. The metallic taste that was now in his mouth wasn’t what Goku expected, and it surprisingly didn’t bother him. He then withdrew to his previous position and watched as Vegeta swallowed hard, relinquishing the grip on his lip.  
  
“No…no more…Kakarot” He managed.  
  
Goku looked down to see the growing mass in Vegeta’s pants.  
  
“You’re hard already, Vegeta?” Goku asked slyly, even though he didn’t need to.  
  
“Please stop saying things you don’t need to.” Vegeta nearly begged.  
  
“I can take care of it for you.” Goku breathed.  
  
Vegeta shook his head swiftly, “Don’t…”  
  
Goku silenced him by pressing their lips together again, his tongue dancing along the bite-mark before playfully attacking Vegeta’s. For the first time since they began Goku noticed him returning his efforts. He deepened the kiss and he felt Vegeta’s hand move from his gi to cup the side of his face. They drew apart for breath but Vegeta held Goku’s face close to his; he stared intently into his eyes, seemingly holding his breath for a moment, anxiousness painting his face as he studied Goku’s. Surprise replaced it as he felt Goku grab his tail yet again; squeezing it Vegeta gasped and then he felt Goku cover his mouth with his own again, constant pressure was being applied and Vegeta moaned several times into his mouth as he gripped his hair.  
  
They drew apart again, “L-Let go.” Vegeta breathed.  
  
There was still a sly look on Goku’s face before he returned to stroking and squeezing Vegeta’s tail, making him arch his back and grind his teeth, “…Stop…idiot.” He covered his eyes with his forearm. The bulge in his pants was beyond noticeable and he was now painfully erect.

 

“Alright.” Goku released his tail and Vegeta took the opportunity to try and calm himself with no success.  
  
It didn’t last long as he felt Goku pull on his pants and he instantly grabbed his hand, “What…what are you doing?”  
  
Goku looked up at him, “I know these pants are too tight for you right now.”

 

His words caused a darker shade of red to form on Vegeta’s face.  
  
Goku continued to pull his pants down, “Oi, stop!” Vegeta protested as he tried to push Goku’s persistent hands away.  
  
The pants slid over his erection and it stood to attention, twitching slightly. “Wow you’re harder than I thought, Vegeta.”  
  
“I-Idiot, stop!” He tried to pull his pants back up but he was failing and soon they were at his ankles and off his feet completely.  
  
Vegeta pressed his knees together while Kakarot was distracted with discarding the clothes he had just removed. He held himself up on his forearms and pulled his legs closer in an attempt to hide as he once again held Kakarot’s attention.  
  
“You don’t need to hide from me, Vegeta…it’s nothing I haven’t already seen.”  
  
Vegeta tensed. “Shut up…”  
  
Goku gripped his hips and pulled him slightly closer before he rested his hands on Vegeta’s knees, “Open your legs.”  
  
“Kakarot, please stop!” The hitch of despair made Goku stop and look down at Vegeta with concern; he could clearly see the panic, “Don’t…” Goku had never seen him blush so hard before in his life.  
  
There was such a variety of emotions on Vegeta’s face that he wasn’t sure which he should pay more attention too. “I know you’re scared, Vegeta…but are you scared because you don’t want this…or because you’ve never been given a choice before? I already told you, the moment you tell me to stop, I will and I’ll never try this again.” Goku said as he removed his hands from him.  
  
The question was simple but it caused so much turmoil.  
  
_‘How could you ever understand? I don’t want to…want you, but I do…this feeling it's…strange. I don’t know what to do with gray…curse you, Kakarot, humiliating me in such a way…but that’s not all…’  
_  
“Vegeta?”  
  
“It’s…it’s not just that I’m scared…” He began as he set his legs down to the side and held himself up with his right hand,  pulling his shirt down to cover himself better.  
  
“Did I misunderstand?” Goku asked.  
  
“No…it’s not that either…you were right about that but…” He trailed off and averted his eyes,  
  
“What is it then?”  
  
“I…I don’t want you to see.” He said shyly,  
  
‘What is he talking about?’ Goku was curious, “Don’t want me to see what, Vegeta?”  
  
He looked at Kakarot with saddened eyes. “I don’t want you to see my…scars.”  
  
_‘I had completely forgotten he’d told me about that.’_ Realization had set in. “Vegeta…”  
  
“Bulma has never seen them either.” He continued.  
  
“Did you want me to stop then?” Goku asked.  
  
Vegeta blushed harder than he did before as he shook his head. “I’m just afraid…”  
  
Goku leaned in closer and cupped Vegeta’s cheek before he kissed him gently, “Don’t be.”  
  
There was a small pause before Vegeta spoke again.  
  
“Will you ascend?”  
  
Goku removed his hand from Vegeta to hold himself up easier. “Huh?”  
  
“Will you…ascend?” He repeated.  
  
“You want me to ascend to Super Saiyan?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“Why?” Goku was genuinely intrigued.  
  
“Will you just do it for me…? No questions?”  
  
_‘I want to know though…’_ Goku smiled slightly, even though on the inside he was attempting to mask his slight annoyance. “Sure, Vegeta…just keep in mind though that I have less control in this form. So I might do something I’ll regret.”  
  
“I trust you, Kakarot…and you don’t have to treat me so gently either.”  
  
Goku ascended to Super Saiyan before offering a sly grin, “Does this form turn you on, Vegeta? Because I might have to get you aroused again.” He teased.  
  
Vegeta blushed, “Shut up…”  
  
“I’ll take that as a ‘yes’.” Goku continued before he placed a hand on Vegeta’s chest and pushed him back against the covers.  
  
Goku then gently parted Vegeta’s legs and knelt between them, as he did so he pulled Vegeta’s shirt up to his neck, exposing his chest. Removing the loose bandaging, Goku then trailed his tongue from Vegeta’s navel to his chest, licking and nibbling as he went--eliciting subtle moans from Vegeta before Goku caught his right nipple with his tongue and clamped his warm mouth around it, making Vegeta tremble slightly. He used his right hand to hold himself up while his left hand grabbed Vegeta’s tail and caressed it with his thumb, making Vegeta cry out sporadically as his grip on the sheets tightened.  
  
_‘It doesn’t take much for Vegeta to become aroused…I can already feel him.’_ Goku mused to himself as he moved on to Vegeta’s left nipple now, giving it the same amount of attention.  
  
“Nnaah…Kakarot…” He breathed, as Goku nibbled slightly.  
  
“You need me to take care of you, don’t you, Vegeta…?”  
  
“Don’t say that…”  
  
Goku ignored him as he trailed his way back down Vegeta’s chest, pausing for a moment when he reached his navel again before moving on.  
  
Releasing Vegeta’s tail Goku then lifted Vegeta’s legs to rest them over his shoulders before he held his thighs. “I’m appalled Vegeta, you’re rock hard again.”  
  
Vegeta slightly lifted himself up on his elbows to look at Goku, blushing harder than what should have been possible. “Gods, Kakarot…stop embarrassing me.”  
  
Goku looked up at him. “Looks like you’ve been holding back from your true feelings like I have.”  
  
“Not as long as you, pervert!” Vegeta shot back, before growling at what he’d given away.  
  
“You’re so flustered right now…I like it.” Goku sneered.  
  
“Just shut up.” His voice was calmer as he leaned back against the bed and drew the sheets into his fists, clearly bracing himself for what was to come next.  
  
Goku smiled cockily as he watched Vegeta do so.  
  
‘Why is that idiot hesitating…hasn’t he humiliated me enough as it is?’  
  
Vegeta ground his teeth slightly as he prepared himself for what was coming but his body shivered nonetheless as he felt a heated breath against his member and then it was followed by a hot wet mouth that clamped securely around the head.  
  
“Nnnngh!” His back arched off the bed, which pushed more of his length into Goku’s mouth, his teeth grinding harder stifling the moan that would have escaped.  
  
Enjoying how Vegeta’s body spasmed under his touch he waited a few moments before proceeding, sucking the tip of his member and enthusiastically curling his tongue around it. Stifled moans and gasps for air filled the space between them, Goku set his gaze upward and he watched as Vegeta covered his mouth with his hand in an effort to silence himself--but that didn’t change the fact that he was now a quivering mess. Goku  pushed his mouth further over Vegeta’s member, eliciting a hitched groan from him. He stopped when his lips met the base and he then sucked back to the tip, repeating the process.  
  
He was moving agonizingly slowly, teasing more than anything else. He knew Vegeta had to be close at this point so he quickened the pace, sucking relentlessly. He then felt a hand grab a fistful of his hair so he looked up, still moving with the same speed and effort. Vegeta was looking at him with one eye closed and his teeth pressed together firmly, he let out a breathy gasp.  
  
“E…Enough…stop, Kakarot.” He was on the edge.  
  
Goku paused for a moment to speak. “It’s alright. Vegeta. Go ahead and come.”  
  
Having said that, he resumed his previous action and sucked hard for a while longer until Vegeta threw his head back and let out a cry of pleasure. He removed the hand from Goku’s hair to grip the sheets, pushing himself into the covers to ride out the rest of his orgasm.  
  
“Kuh…haa…aah!” Goku enjoyed the sounds now freely escaping Vegeta’s mouth,  
  
He swallowed hard as Vegeta came in his mouth; continuing to suck, he made sure he had every last drop. Vegeta’s legs twitched over his shoulders as he moved in an attempt to escape the persistent sensation between them. Once Goku was satisfied with his work he placed Vegeta’s legs back on the bed.  Wiping his mouth, he watched Vegeta tremble from the aftermath and panting breaths now filled the air as Vegeta rested his forearm over his eyes once again.

 

He almost didn’t notice as Goku leaned over him again, his mind was too busy processing what had just happened. He felt numbed. In all his experiences he had never felt this good before and he wasn’t sure what to think. He then felt Goku grip the wrist that rested over his eyes and hold it securely above his head. He peered up at him wearily before Goku closed the distance between them, kissing him deeply. Vegeta breathed into his mouth as he submissively allowed the probing tongue to explore him. Drawing apart, Vegeta continued to pant heavily peering upwards through barely open eyes.

 

“How was it, Vegeta?”  
  
Unwilling to answer his question, Vegeta used his free hand to pull Goku back into a gentle kiss. “You…talk too much…Kakarot.” He breathed. Vegeta knew Goku was going to accept that as a good response and it was affirmed when he saw the smile that played at the Saiyan’s lip.

 

Drawing Vegeta’s other hand up above his head as well, Goku leaned down and trailed kisses down his neck and over his collarbone, eliciting soft moans from him. Goku continued back up his neck stopping along the way to nip and suck, making Vegeta’s breathing hitch. He repeated the action on the other side of Vegeta’s neck as well, only this time Goku trailed the inside of his right ear with his tongue. He felt Vegeta try and break out of his grip but he was unrelenting as he continued his assault on his neck.  
  
“Don’t you…hnnn…ever pause?” Vegeta asked hoarsely.  
  
“I’m still hard…” Goku breathed in his ear.  
  
Vegeta felt a shiver of nervousness course through him at Kakarot’s words.  
  
“Do you mind if I…?” Goku asked, as he moved close enough to Vegeta to make their noses touch.  
  
Vegeta was suddenly alert.  
  
“What?” He breathed anxiously.  
  
Goku looked at him lustfully and that was all Vegeta needed to understand what he was asking, and a sliver of dread had returned, “Why do you have to?”  
  
“Well, are you going to do something about it?” Goku asked. Vegeta tensed but remained silent. “It seems a little unfair don’t you think…? That you get to feel good and I don’t?” He continued.  
  
“But…”  
  
“Hey, don’t be scared now…you had to know it was going to come to this.” Goku reasoned.  
  
“I did…but I didn’t think it would be so soon.” He shyly turned his head as he continued to blush.  
  
“I promise if it hurts I’ll stop.” Goku’s voice held a calm seriousness.  
  
He felt Vegeta’s heart pound against his chest, he knew what he wanted would cause apprehension but he was willing to ease Vegeta into it.  
  
“I’ll be gentle, Vegeta. I swear.” His voice was still calm and steady,  
  
Vegeta remained silent as he turned back to intently search Kakarot’s face, looking for something, anything that would prove his words to be true.  
  
“Do you trust me?”  
  
“Kakarot…I…” He did trust him, more than anyone else.  
  
“Then trust me now, Vegeta…I wouldn’t hurt you.” Goku’s words served to calm Vegeta somewhat and that made him smile slightly.  
  
He felt the resistance against his grip fade as Vegeta lay docilely and relaxed, but he still held his gaze for assurance.  
  
“The moment you say the word, I’ll stop.” Goku breathed into Vegeta’s ear as he leaned down again to trace his tongue along Vegeta’s tensed neck muscles, “But…that’s a ways off yet.” He added.  
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
“You have to be ready for me first…”  
  
Vegeta stiffened. “What are you going to do?”  
  
Goku gripped both of Vegeta’s wrists with his left hand while he used his right pointer finger to silence him by gently pressing it against Vegeta’s lips. Goku then slid it and his index finger into his mouth thoroughly coating them with saliva before they made contact between Vegeta’s thighs, making his legs twitch.

 

He parted his legs slightly wider making it easier for Goku to trace his fingers around his opening teasingly. A stifled gasp was emitted at the initial contact until it returned to apprehensive breathing as he continued to fervently search Goku’s face for answers. He had been scared before, fear and rage were perhaps the most common emotions he felt, but this was new: it was both fear and longing, was it…lust? He wanted to chide himself but his senses had gone numb with the state of ecstasy that he was in.  
  
A single digit slipped inside of him and he screwed his face up slightly, breathing in sharply his knees touched, making his thighs press against Goku’s hand. It slid in deeper as his other finger entered and Goku watched as Vegeta swallowed hard and pushed his head back against the pillow.  
  
“What…haaa…are you doing?”  
  
“With how tight you are, Vegeta, if I had attempted to enter you now chances are I could have hurt you. This way it won’t be so bad.” Goku’s voice was sultry and calm.  
  
“You’re still talking…hmnn…too much.”  
  
“You asked…”  
  
Goku started moving his fingers in a ‘come hither’ motion and Vegeta moaned loudly at the sensation that now coursed through him. Goku had found his sweet spot and was now massaging the area mercilessly. Vegeta writhed under his touch and stretched his legs out as far as they could go before pulling them back to him. This was the first time he had felt this kind of sensation, in the past no one had ever done this and he was glad that there was something new Kakarot could show him.  
  
With the sounds and movements coming from Vegeta, Goku wasn’t sure how much longer he could last. He was painfully hard and his erection was demanding attention. But he knew if he moved too fast, too soon he could do more damage to Vegeta than Frieza or anyone else put together because Vegeta trusted him. So he had to suffer in silence until the time was right--he just hoped it would be soon. He slid a third finger inside Vegeta and continued the motion which elicited a grunt from Vegeta and he saw his opportunity to steal a kiss. When they drew apart he watched as Vegeta’s face contorted and he arched his back slightly before a rushed breath escaped. He had reached his climax again.  
  
Goku stared down at him teasingly as he removed his fingers, “That’s twice you owe me now, Vegeta…should we try for a third?” He asked as he sucked on his fingers individually,  
  
“Enough, Kakarot…” Vegeta breathed as his body jolted irregularly.  
  
“Well let me clean you then.” Goku offered on a chuckle before he let go of Vegeta’s wrists to move down to his waist and start lapping at the white substance he found there.  
  
Vegeta slipped his fingers into Kakarot’s golden locks, making the Saiyan look up at him, “Don’t do that.”  
  
“Why not? I’ve done it once already. Why is now any different?”  
  
Vegeta cocked his head slightly in curiosity, ‘It doesn’t bother him…that this is a humiliating act? I’m clearly the submissive in this…so why? Is he trying to show equality…or does it just not bother him?’ He couldn’t understand.  
  
“Vegeta?”  
  
“Don’t worry about it.” He withdrew his fingers from Kakarot’s hair and relaxed again.  
  
Goku continued to stare at him skeptically for a moment longer before returning to his previous action.  
  
_‘Why do you still continue to surprise me, Kakarot?’_  
  
After Goku  finished he let out a heavy breath, he had finally reached his limit.  
  
“Vegeta, I can’t take it anymore…can I put it in now?” He retracted and balanced himself on his knees as his hands fumbled to remove the bottom half of his gi. He made short work of it before letting it fall to the floor next to Vegeta’s training pants.  
  
Goku held himself over Vegeta and looked down at him desperately even as he tried to control his voice, “I’m not going to lie, it will hurt at first…is it still alright if I continue?” Goku’s voice was comforting even though inside he was silently praying that Vegeta didn’t back out now.  
  
Vegeta nodded slightly and Goku smiled although now he felt his own apprehension growing. He wasn’t even sure how long he was going to last when he was inside Vegeta with how he felt already. He was finding it hard to control himself.  
  
“If you’re going to…” He broke off.  
  
“What?”  
  
“Just…pull out first…please.” He finished.  
  
Goku chuckled slightly, which didn’t help how Vegeta was feeling, but he couldn’t deny how appealing it was to see this shy side to Vegeta.  
  
He rolled Vegeta onto his side and then assumed a spooning position behind him, Vegeta held himself up on his left elbow as did Goku who then pulled Vegeta flush against his chest. Vegeta looked behind him to follow the taller Saiyans movements before he suddenly drew in a sharp breath and his tail curled around Goku’s arm as he felt Goku’s member press against his opening. When he had positioned himself the way he wanted, Goku grabbed Vegeta under his right knee lifting it upwards and towards him. Using his hold on his leg for leverage he slowly pushed himself inside and noted a hissed groan from Vegeta as he did so.  
  
He stopped, “Am I hurting you?”  
  
“A…A little…” Drawing breath seemed to take a lot more effort than it should have.  
  
“Maybe it would be better if I didn’t ascend.” Goku offered.  
  
“No…it’s fine…”  
  
With his free hand Goku held Vegeta’s chest and felt the hard beating of his heart against it. He pushed himself in further and Vegeta swung his free hand behind him, catching Goku’s arm he held onto it. Once Goku had completely entered him, he heard a pained cry escape from Vegeta’s lips. He paused for a moment as the overwhelming sensation of Vegeta’s spasming insides evoked his own subtle moans of pleasure. He pulled out slowly and pushed back in with the same speed in an attempt to get Vegeta accustomed to the new sensation. The hitch in the smaller Saiyan’s voice was still a pained groan and his breathing was desperate.  
  
“Gods, Vegeta…you feel so good inside.” Goku breathed as he continued the torturously slow rhythm.  
  
“Nnnng…haaaa.”  
  
His own actions were destroying him as the torture was becoming too much. He hoped Vegeta had grown accustomed to the feeling because he needed to quicken the pace, which he did and  the slapping sound of flesh on flesh filled the air between them. Vegeta cried out loudly as Goku’s thrusting became more enthusiastic, with each thrust Vegeta was pushed forward rhythmically; the tears that had pooled in his eyes previously now left glistening trails down his cheeks. The pain was slowly being taken over by pleasure as each thrust stroked his sweet spot. Their lustful moans of satisfaction and panted breaths nearly drowning out any other noises that could be heard. Goku leaned in closer and seized Vegeta’s lips, stroking his tongue with his own as they both moaned into each other’s mouths before drawing apart and looking at one another through half-lidded eyes.  
  
“Kakarot…slow down…it’s too much.”  
  
Goku wasn’t convinced that Vegeta was actually bothered by the speed;  his senses were clouded with his own lust and the plea fell on deaf ears. With one last hard thrust that made Vegeta cry out breathily, Goku pulled out.

 

Beads of sweat had gathered on Vegeta’s face, making it shine in the glow of Goku’s Super Saiyan form. He panted heavily as he felt Goku set his leg back down on the bed and move around. Was it over? He felt himself wanting more and blushed harder. The voice in the back of his head wanted it to be over, but he knew it wasn’t, and the small voice was soon silenced by a louder one that wanted to continue. He was caught off guard when he was suddenly pulled flat on his back by his legs that were then rested over Goku’s shoulders. Vegeta felt Goku grip his hips as he was then pulled swiftly towards him, the length of Goku’s member entering him in one fluent motion.  
  
“Agh!…Kakarot!” He felt the burn from the action but he couldn’t deny that it felt good as well.  
  
With hazed senses Goku could only focus on one thing, satisfying himself. He removed his grip on Vegeta’s hips and grabbed him under the knees as he then pushed them down until they almost touched his shoulders. Vegeta stared up at him worriedly and saw Ginyu, which made him panic so he closed his eyes. He wanted to see Goku’s face but it was gone, twisted by his brutal past, so he imagined it--imagined the face that served to calm him when nothing else would. He then felt Goku pull out only to have a swift thrust evoke a pitched moan from him. His pace was faster than before and Vegeta felt himself thoroughly enjoying the disappearance of the painfully gentle nature he saw previously.  
  
He opened his eyes slightly and noticed Goku’s form was back, only now he had ascended to Super Saiyan Two which explained the increased size and speed he felt. He felt subtle pain but he wasn’t even sure if he could consider it pain anymore. His senses felt dulled by pleasure and everything was distorted. He had given up trying to stop himself from expressing his pleasure as gasps and moans freely spilled from his mouth.  
  
He gripped the sheets as he felt himself reaching his limit. Even his tail had tensed as it curled and tightened its grip around Goku’s leg--who then released his grip on Vegeta’s right leg to grab the tail as he felt himself close as well. He squeezed the furry appendage and made one last hard thrust before they both grunted as they came together.  
  
Vegeta felt the warm sensation inside him and it broke him from his dazed state.  
  
“Gnngh…bastard…you came inside!” He growled weakly as his voice was distorted in blissful response.  
  
Regardless of the fact that he was disgusted by Kakarot coming inside of him, it didn’t give him the nauseated feeling that he had associated with the act. Vegeta looked up at him and watched him ride out his orgasm, how badly had he needed that?  
  
He expected it to be over now. They were both satisfied and the deed was done, but it was actually far from over. Without pulling out, Goku returned Vegeta’s legs over his shoulders once again and grabbed him by the hips lifting him off the bed. Vegeta noticed that the mass inside him hadn’t changed at all and realized they were about to go another round just as Goku pulled out slowly and pushed back in with the same speed. The pace seemed apologetically slow for a while until Vegeta watched Goku flash a grin and then thrust in harder than before causing him to cry out loudly.  
  
“Gah! Are you…trying to fucking…hnngh…kill me Kakarot!” He nearly screamed, as he convulsed systematically.  
  
“Sorry.” Goku offered, his tone however indicated that he wasn’t looking for forgiveness,

 

Vegeta was startled by his words as he wasn’t expecting him to speak, let alone respond with a mock apology.  
  
“Then fucking slow down just a little!” He ordered, even though his words were barely portraying how he really felt,  
  
“Do you really want that?” Goku questioned skeptically, as he looked down at him briefly,  
  
Vegeta was startled. _‘Is he reading me?’_  
  
Before Vegeta could think about it any further Goku picked up the pace again thrusting as hard and as fast as he had previously. He was using his full strength now and even though Vegeta couldn’t deny the pain that had now been thrown into the mix, he couldn’t hate it. He couldn’t even if he tried. He’d been on the receiving end of abusive sex for the better part of his life and he was worried that any experience even remotely similar to those times would cause him to shut down. But never had it even for the briefest moment come close to what he was experiencing now. He never thought he would like being dominated like this after everything he had been through in his past but he did, he loved every minute of it and didn’t want it to stop. He didn’t think he could like it like this…with him…with Kakarot.  
  
He was wrong.  
  
“Kakarot…Gods…!” He cried desperately.  
  
He noticed there was a pain that was now radiating from his hips, Goku was gripping him harder than he had intended and it was now bruising his skin. Goku used his hold to push deeper inside Vegeta with every thrust and the feeling was indescribable, it was a mixture of so many things.  
  
Vegeta continued to cry out desperately, ‘I can’t even think anymore…all I know is him, us, in this moment.’  
  
He needed to hold something, take out what he was feeling on it, but there was nothing and the bed sheets didn’t suffice anymore. He needed to do something with his hands but there was nothing for him to distract them with. He writhed within Goku’s grip trying to escape the relentless attention he was receiving, it was too much for him to handle, but Goku’s hands were like a vice however and there was no option for him to escape, he was being dominated ruthlessly. With screams loud enough to wake the dead Vegeta began losing himself to the white numbness of ecstasy.  
  
In the back of his mind he knew he would be feeling this later, even though the pain was there now it would end. Later his muscles would remember and hound him for several days at least.  
  
Vegeta barely had time to notice that Goku had come again, the fluid back and forth motion accompanied by his endless cries had started making him light headed and he wasn’t sure if he was about to pass out from lack of oxygen. The scene before his eyes had hazed and it was fuzzy at best, even the pain had disappeared as he felt himself slipping. How long was Goku going to keep it up? Surely he couldn’t last that much longer. As if he had lost track of time his eyes refocused and he watched Goku throw his head back as he came again, stopping his movement altogether.  
  
He couldn’t feel a thing. He felt as if his body was completely numb. He didn’t even feel as if he was still in the time chamber; he felt as if he was somewhere else entirely, somewhere free of care and worry. Somewhere where it was just the two of them, alone and forever free of earthly concern. So many things he thought would never change had been blown apart out of proportion. His world was no longer what he believed it to be.  
  
“Kakarot…” He breathed half-heartedly, “I…love you.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was beta read by BringingYaoiBack,  
> Thank you for your help!


	8. You've Left Me In Pieces...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His mind is his worst enemy and now what will it throw at him? Will Vegeta be strong enough to overcome it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Everyone I know it's taken an incredibly long time to get the next chapter and I'm sadly late for my Christmas update but here it is a few days late >_>
> 
> Also in other news I am no longer invested in the DBZ fandom as I used to be as my experience has been ruined and I cannot rekindle the love I used to have for the series. So that being said I cannot guarantee if this story will A. be in as good quality as you have seen and B. if the story will ever be finished at all. I regret to bring you this news but I hope you understand nonetheless.
> 
> And as usual, Enjoy!

**~**

Vegeta opened his eyes and stared foggily upward, he didn’t even remember closing them to begin with, and he couldn’t remember anything that had happened leading to this moment.

He then heard the familiar sound of snoring and everything came flooding back. He allowed his eyes to adjust to their surroundings before he turned his head to the right to see Goku sleeping on his side without a care in the world. He noticed that the covers were pulled up to his chest, and it wasn’t until he attempted to rise did an aching pain strike him and he had to quickly place his hand over his mouth to stifle a small cry as to not wake the saiyan sleeping beside him. He pushed himself up slowly, pain hounding him with every movement, even the small of his back ached fiercely, but it wasn’t unexpected he just simply forgot about it until he felt it. He pulled the covers off himself and set to work finding his pants, looking around he saw them on the floor.

Sucking in a deep breath he swung his legs over the edge of the bed with a wince, _“God’s Kakarot.”_  

After a considerable pause to gather himself he pushed himself off the bed and would have collapsed to the floor were it not for the chair that he used to steady himself, his legs seemed to have lost the ability to support his weight. Pausing again he took a small step but froze in panicked embarrassment as he felt something warm dribble down his thighs.

 _“You bastard…how many times Kakarot…and you never pulled out once!?”_ He started feeling slightly nauseous,

He needed to clean himself, if there was one thing he hated about sex it was how messy it was and how unclean and disgusting it made him feel. He desperately needed and wanted a shower, so grabbing his pants off the floor he slowly walked to the wash room. Discarding his remaining clothes and bandages he stepped into the shower and let the hot water run over him.

 _“So much for resting so that my wound didn’t open again, although it’s insignificant to the discomfort I’m feeling now.”_ He mused to himself briefly,

It was always like this.

Every time he would always feel as if he had bathed in filth that he could never wash off no matter how hard he tried, he felt worthless and disgusting, but it was different somehow though, of course the base feeling was there, but now it was layered with new feelings.

The feelings of guilt, and want.

He couldn’t understand his feelings though, he despised himself for his actions and yet was content with his choice all at the same time.

In every other case he had never had a choice to avoid such circumstances, but now that he had finally been given a choice he didn’t say no, he accepted it like it was normal and that he should follow through with it. Why had he done that? He hated sex more than anything and yet when given the option to say ‘No’ he said ‘Yes’, he docilely submitted to the one who was stronger than him and allowed himself to be used and dominated. He had told himself countless times that if he ever had the option he would say no and run as far away as he could, but what was this? He was doing the exact opposite though, he was disgusted with himself, how weak had he become?

He chided himself for allowing Kakarot to sway him, that bastard had actually made him want it.

 _“What’s wrong with me? Why do I feel like this? My every action has been a contradiction. Damn it…why did I allow this…it doesn’t make sense…I wanted this but…I didn’t want to want it…why have you distorted the world I knew Kakarot…it was easier then. You’re a fucking bastard though, do you even have any idea how I feel right now, for our first time I didn’t expect you to go all out…not like that…do it again and I swear next time I will kill you.”_ He froze in shock at his own thoughts, _“Again…do I want this again…god I’m a fucking bitch crawling back to my master begging for more.”_

He hated himself, how could he have hated every other encounter that was similar to this with a burning passion, but want it with equal intensity this time? It made no sense to him, was he just so used to things being like this that he followed along willing or no? He was giving himself a headache trying to understand. He stopped trying to understand however as his shame took over, he felt so unclean, how could he do this? He was tormented by these feelings beyond belief, so he pushed them aside as best he could and busied himself with his shower since that was the reason he was here after all. When he did he noticed just how bad the bruises on his hips looked, they were a dark hue of purple and blue, and even though he wanted Kakarot to feel bad after his loss of control. He realized he would never show him the marks deliberately, out of sympathy for the man because try as he might he couldn’t hate him enough to do it.

The more Vegeta thought about it the more he realized what seeing the marks would do to Kakarot. He witnessed the abuse Frieza had administered in his dream and knew that Kakarot would think he had abused and hurt him like the evil tyrant had. And that was the last thing he wanted, because it wasn’t true, Kakarot had made him feel something he never thought he would again even though those feelings were now drowned in a sea of misery.

 _“I might do something I’ll regret…you warned me didn’t you Kakarot, yet I insisted…but I don’t regret it, the warm embrace of safety I felt from you when you ascended was what I wanted, that and you do look…better in that form.”_ A sliver of fear crept up his spine as he remembered something else, _“Did…did he hear me when I said…’that’? Why did I even say it…? I don’t remember…but now I’m never going to hear the end of it.”_ He half-heartedly chided himself,

But then he stared blankly in acceptance, “No, I remember why I said it…” He said to himself out loud, “Because I meant it…even if I’m being destroyed by my actions now…I love that fucking idiot…”

When he was finally done he half-heartedly patted down his wet hair and tail before he continued over to the crate to grab some fresh clothes since what he was previously wearing were covered in sweat. Vegeta figured they would run out of things to wear if they kept training to the point where they destroyed their armor, but neither of them wanted to play fight so he was grateful Bulma took all precautions and packed enough capsules for the both of them.

Musing to himself he withdrew a shirt of the same color he previous wore, _“Did Bulma just assume that I would wear this? Or did she pack them for generally anyone who trained in here? Regardless I’ll have to have her change the design of my suit to accommodate my recent change, even though she only just recently made me this new one which I still haven’t worn, so we’ll see how it holds up under our fighting.”_

He shot a sideways glance at his tail as he made the observation while pulling the rest of his battle suit out of the crate bar the chest piece. Adorning it he walked gingerly out of the room attempting to ignore the throbbing pain he felt deep within him.

_~_

Goku woke after a while and stretched out fully.

With his arms spread out he realized that Vegeta was missing, so rubbing the sleep from his eyes he rose to search the room for where he may have gone, he then found him sitting on the steps that led out into the white emptiness of the time chamber. Studying the saiyan flashbacks from earlier played in his head and he horrifyingly realized he had been pretty rough with Vegeta, his heart sank and he placed a hand to his lips, he felt terrible. He had promised Vegeta that if he told him to stop he would, but he did the opposite of what he said he was going to do, instead he ignored every one of his pleas, he had betrayed him and probably damaged their friendship that had turned into something more. He realized he was going to be the last person Vegeta would want to see but he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he didn’t go and express his deep regret for what had transpired. He hated himself so much though.

He had become like all the rest.

Quietly he slid off the bed and swiftly adorned his pants but the walk to where Vegeta was sitting was a slow one.

When he stood behind Vegeta he paused, he knew Vegeta could tell he was there but still he didn’t know what to do at this point, so Goku took a moment to study him instead. He was curled up against himself holding his knees close to his chest and resting his chin on them while looking blankly out into the empty void. He was in a pitiful state to say the least. Goku also noticed the state of his hair and tail, it was wet, he realized that Vegeta had taken a shower and he had redressed the wounds on his arms, he wasn’t yet sure how much worse the situation had become from noticing that. He swallowed hard and mustered enough of his courage to sit down beside him staring out into the emptiness as well.

Silence.

Neither of them showed any sign of speaking, until finally it seemed that Goku cracked under pressure.

“I know this doesn’t mean anything Vegeta but…I want you to know I’m sorry, I have no excuses for what I did, I hurt you and betrayed the trust you put in me…I’m not asking you to forgive me because I know I don’t deserve it…for what little it’s worth…you have my apologies.” Goku turned to look at him sadly,

With how fast it happened Goku never saw it coming, but he felt the searing pain from the attack as he held his face from the sudden punch Vegeta had thrown, “Gah!”

Vegeta winced from the movement and clutched his stomach as the pain from both his turmoil and their encounter throbbed within him mercilessly, the fierce scowl on his face radiated nothing but anger, Goku recovered from the hit and looked at him questioningly even though he knew he deserved it.

“Vegeta?”

“Shut-up!”

“Vegeta…I swear I’m sorry.” Goku continued,

“I said shut up!” His anger intensified as the pain grew,

“Why won’t you accept my apology?” He asked in protest,

“Because I Fucking Enjoyed It You Bastard!” Vegeta spat angrily,

Goku was taken aback by his words, “What?” He asked bewilderedly,

“I’m not repeating myself! And you should be grateful I let you off with a mere punch, after what you did to me Fuckwit! Do you have any idea the pain I’m in right now?! What I want to know is how Chi-Chi is able to put up with you in bed since she’s only human.”

“The other day I literally nearly beat you within an inch of your life but this hurts?” Goku asked curiously,

“How would you like it if I ascended to super saiyan two, shoved my dick inside you then continued to fuck your brains out?!” Vegeta demanded,

Still utterly confused Goku answered, “Yeah I guess you’re right, but I honestly thought you’d hate me after that since I didn’t exactly…listen to you.” He nursed the sore spot on his face some more,

“I do hate you right now, making me bottom like a bitch…and then never pulling out when you came.” Vegeta added, “I distinctly remember telling you to.”

“Come on Vegeta I would have offered to bottom but I don’t think you would have accepted.”

“What! Of course I wouldn’t!” His face reddened slightly,

“And yeah I’m sorry I didn’t pull out, I just figured it didn’t matter since…well it’s not like you’re having kids, and you didn’t exactly hate it either.”

Vegeta wasn’t sure if he should be embarrassed or just plain annoyed, but he couldn’t deny the truth behind Goku’s words, “You idiot that’s the worst excuse I’ve ever heard for ignoring my request, you should have pulled out, it’s disgusting!”

Goku rubbed the back of his head as he chuckled teasingly, “I’ll remember that.” A small moment of silence passed between them, “So you’re mad at me because you’re in pain? That’s it?”

“Isn’t that a good enough reason I can barely move you know.” Vegeta said, his voice had calmed considerably and he resumed his curled up position,

“So what’s wrong then, besides the pain?” Goku asked kindly,

Vegeta was slightly surprised by his question since it implied that Goku was reading him like an open book, “What does it matter.” He dismissed,

“It matters because I’m concerned.”

“Whatever.” Vegeta muttered,

“Come on Vegeta, I’m used to the fact that you never talk but after what we just did, I think it’s obvious I care a lot more about you than I let on before so does it really matter if you let me in now?” Goku asked,

He had a point, _“I guess not.”_ Vegeta turned to face him, “Is it that obvious that something’s on my mind Kakarot?” He asked,

“Yeah, I’ve always been able to read you pretty well, it’s just that once we entered the time chamber you seemed to relax a lot more around me than any other time, which made it easier…so what is it that’s bothering you?

“You remember what we talked about before?” Vegeta asked,

“About your past?” Vegeta nodded in reply, “What…specifically?” Goku asked,

Vegeta sighed before looking straight ahead of him half-liddedly.

 _“I had a feeling he would be having a hard time with it afterwards, but he didn’t seem to mind then, I know I should have considered it before I acted but what’s done is done now, all I can do is try and help him through it the best I can.” Goku Pondered,_ “I’m listening when you’re ready.” He continued softly,

“I…I’m angry because I enjoyed it.” Vegeta said just above a whisper,

“Why does that make you angry?”

“Because I didn’t want to!” Vegeta retorted,

“Why not?”

“How could you ever understand Kakarot…” He said defeatedly,

“Help me understand then, what have you got to lose?” Goku reasoned,

“You’re right, I have nothing to lose.” Vegeta muttered, barely audibly,

“If you dare say you’re nothing one more time Vegeta I swear.” Goku warned in a more aggressive tone than he intended,

“What Kakarot? You’re going to hit me? Go ahead you already own me, and you’re stronger than me so it’s not like I could even stop you.”

The all too familiar feeling of worthlessness had seized him yet again. Vegeta hadn’t purposely intended to sound like he did just then, but it happened regardless, feeling this way was so common for him that he subconsciously slipped into the mood more often than he cared to admit.

“Shut up!” Goku grabbed Vegeta by the arms and pulled him closer forcing him to look at him,

Vegeta groaned in painful protest and fear flashed on his face as he stared at the Saiyan.

“If you just once stop fucking convincing yourself your useless and that everyone has a right to step all over you, you would realize that we have the exact same level of power. All you do is keep saying ‘I’m a bitch you own me’ and I’m sick of it, I care about you Vegeta, and I won’t stand by and hear this anymore, I already told you that you are a proud and strong saiyan, you’re a fucking prince for goodness sake…you’re my prince, and you matter to me.” Goku almost shouted, softening at the end, he had to fight the intense desire welling within him that wanted to pull Vegeta into his arms and hold him close so he instead held him at arm’s length,

Kakarot’s sudden turn of attitude was definitely a shock but Vegeta was more than a little aggravated with how bold he was, the saiyan prince had returned, “That’s a lie, I’ve never been anywhere near your level!” He protested,

“That’s because you can’t get over the wall you’ve put up that says you aren’t strong enough.” Goku continued his voice was still fierce in comparison to his soft tone but it was compassionate at the same time, “To be honest I don’t think either of us will ever be able to surpass each other, at least not really.”

“What do you mean Kakarot?”

Goku relinquished his grip on Vegeta’s arms and sat more comfortably, “For example, that time Cell killed Trunks from the future, in that moment of rage you surpassed me, sure it wasn’t enough to defeat Cell or surpass Gohan but you were still more powerful than I was.”

Vegeta looked at him curiously, “You died, how were you even able to see that?”

“I used Instant Transmission to get to King Kai’s planet and he let me see everything and talk to Gohan.”

“So you took him out with you? You are a real piece of work sometimes Kakarot, you know that.” Vegeta taunted,

“Anyway I’m saying that whenever one of us needs the power we train so hard to obtain we reach it. As long as our will is strong enough we can reach the level of power we need, even if it’s only for a short time.” Goku continued ignoring Vegeta’s remark,

“That may be so Kakarot but it doesn’t help when everyone looks at me as if they expect me to kill them at any moment, you can’t tell me you haven’t noticed…do you even know how pissed off I was at you when you refused to be wished back with the dragon balls? You had everyone there who loved you and admired you, that had tirelessly searched for them and here you were refusing to be brought back to life, I don’t know what changed your mind but it was so maddening.” Vegeta explained,

“Vegeta…”

“Don’t you get it, no one would do the same thing for me, and here you were throwing their efforts to the wind, how could you so blatantly show no concern for your own wife and child…or me…I know I complain about you not acting like a saiyan, but in that moment you proved to me that you had retained your saiyan nature.”

“It wasn’t like that at all.”

“No? Than explain it to me, because from my perspective you threw away the one thing I can never have…acceptance.” Vegeta continued,

“Look I know it was Gohan’s Kamehameha wave that ultimately lead to Cell’s defeat…but if it wasn’t for your attack distracting him we all would have died, the people of earth owe you their lives Vegeta.” Goku said,

“So fucking what, I couldn’t care less about the people of earth right now I’m talking about the rest of your group.”

“Well to be fair you did kill a few of them.” Goku reasoned,

“I tried to kill you, I almost killed your son, I saw you as the enemy for goodness knows how long, and we just had sex for fucks sake.” Vegeta protested waving his hand for emphasis,

“Well when you put it that way…”

“Exactly…but that doesn’t answer my question.” Vegeta reminded,

“Well…I guess I just didn’t want anyone else coming to earth solely to kill me, it’s unfair to everyone else who gets caught up in the whole thing.” Goku explained,

“That’s stupid, trouble would still show up on earth regardless if you were alive or not, and you know it.” Vegeta dismissed, “So what changed your mind?”

“I saw how upset everyone was…and regardless of whether I thought I was making the right choice, I just couldn’t do it, I wanted to but seeing that made me realize how much everyone actually needed me.” He continued,

“Well next time you decide you don’t want to be wished back Kakarot I’m going to other world and killing you for good.” Vegeta threatened,

Goku pouted slightly but then his attitude perked up, “But hey what does that have to do with you being mad at me for enjoying…you know?”

_“And just like that his moment of intelligence is gone…”_

“Well?” Goku prodded,

“You’re too nosey for your own good sometimes Kakarot.” Vegeta said, as he winced from moving to get comfortable making Goku feel guilty,

Goku grabbed him and drew him to his chest making Vegeta groan, “Get off me, the last person I want to be next to right now is you, and if you think you can pull anything right now I will literally kill you, because on top of everything else, I’m fucking wounded.” He warned,

“Calm down Vegeta, I’m just helping you get comfortable.” Goku assured,

He heard Vegeta huff and then shift to find a comfortable position while leaning against his chest, Goku then put his arms around Vegeta’s waist and that made him hiss, which in turn caused Goku to remember that he could have hurt him. He pulled up his shirt to inspect his hips.

“Stop it! What did I just say?!” Vegeta slapped Goku in the face with his tail,

“I’m not trying anything I’m just looking.” He defended, as he turned his head to avoid Vegeta’s tail,

“Look with your eyes Kakarot not your fingers.” He nearly growled,

Continuing to pull up his shirt he saw the horrible dark bruises and grimaced slightly; he brushed a thumb over one of them and he felt Vegeta flinch under the touch, “I had no intention of doing this, I’m sorry Vegeta, I really must have gotten carried away.”

“You did…now if you don’t mind put my shirt back the way you found it.” With guilt rising Goku did as he was told,

“So you were going to explain Vegeta?”

“I’m getting to it would you give me a break already…it’s not something I delight in talking about.” Vegeta retorted,

“That’s okay, take your time.” Goku nuzzled him slightly,

 _“Why does he always have to make this difficult…?”_ Vegeta raised a hand to cup Kakarot’s cheek as he nuzzled against his neck, “Well I doubt I have to explain much to you since you already know about my past…” He began,

“Yeah.” Goku breathed sadly, retracting to his previous position,

“I don’t know how to feel about liking it…especially since in every other instance I hated it more than anything, and I wished I would have died…what does that say about me if I enjoyed this? Does it mean they were right before when they said my body was saying I loved it? Was I just trying to convince myself that I hated it?”

Goku could sense his mate’s turmoil, “Vegeta…that’s not it at all, the circumstances are completely different.”

“How?” He was smart enough to know the difference between the circumstances but the end result was still the same,

“They were wrong then and you know it too don’t you? You can’t do anything about the way your body reacts to what they did…it’s not pleasant to say the least but that’s how the body works, you have no control over it, please tell me you know that?”

“I don’t know what to believe…I told myself I could never enjoy anything like this, and yet I find myself…wanting it…I don’t expect you to understand I don’t even understand it myself.” Vegeta continued,

“I do understand Vegeta, and I know it’s confusing for you but listen to me and believe me when I say this…you didn’t ask for anything they did to you, they took advantage of you, and you hate them which is completely normal…but this time was different because everything was your choice I made sure of that and…you have feelings for me too.” Goku explained, and he felt Vegeta nervously tense against him,

_“Fuck he did hear me after all…”_

“I never expected to hear you say it, and I don’t think you intended to say it out loud…but I’m glad you feel that way about me, because I have been hiding how I felt about you for so long and now to finally be able to hear you say you want to be with me…it makes me happier than you know.” Goku confessed,

Vegeta remained silent and allowed himself time to soak in what his mate was saying.

“Did you hear me Vegeta?”

“That’s another thing I’ll never understand about you Kakarot.” He breathed,

“Huh?”

“You know what to say to set my mind at ease, and I’m not yet sure how I feel about that.” Vegeta replied and he felt Goku nuzzle against his neck once again, _“You’re much smarter than I ever gave you credit for, I guess there is more of your father in you than I thought.”_

There was a silent moment between them, “So you don’t mind if we do it again?” Goku asked enthusiastically,

“Shut-up! I didn’t mean anytime in the near future, I’m in fucking pain remember!” Vegeta retorted, his face becoming red,

“But you did mean later? Good I was worried you’d never want to do it again…you felt so good too.” He squeezed him slightly,

“Hnnn…bastard watch it!” Vegeta said with a wince, “And don’t say such things…”

“Sorry…I forgot, but it’s true what I said.” Goku then spontaneously rose to his feet carrying Vegeta bridal style,

“Put me down I can walk you idiot!”

“I really don’t think you can.” Goku dismissed, and Vegeta’s face reddened further,

“Well whose fault is that anyway?” He convicted, as he folded his arms,

“Hey I did say I was sorry.” Goku pouted,

“Say you’re sorry one more time Kakarot and I’m going to hit you again.” He warned and Goku laughed nervously,

“Relax, I’ll make it up to you and prepare some food.”

“Fine, but while you’re at it you better make me some Anpan.” Vegeta practically ordered,

“Sure, anything for my prince.” Goku teased which elicited a huff from Vegeta,


End file.
